It’s the official full start of the college football season, and Crappy has apparently decided to introduce a new segment into the show: The Group of Dark After Five Report.

This may have been a freudian slip, though, because what lies ahead of us this weekend is a thing of beauty: Five. Straight. Days. Of. College. Football.

We start this week by reviewing the limited action from Week 0, which included some doozies. The ACC appears to be even more wide open than we even imagined, and Montana State let New Mexico hang around too long before doing what we expected them to do and win on the road.

Then, it’s time to hear from AJ and his first true #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report, which is absolutely loaded with some great games, including the first #ACCAfterDark game featuring TCU at Stanford (10:30 ET Friday, ESPN). Also, you’re going to have to relocate TruTV in your channel lineup, so get started on that now.

And then? Let’s do this, boys and girls.

FCS No. 2 North Dakota State at Colorado (8 ET Thursday, ESPN): As AJ constantly reminds us, you never want to play a Dakota or a Montana. The Buffs haven’t won a game at home since last September. And this doesn’t look promising.

No. 8 Penn State at West Virginia (Big Nude Saturday, FOX): 2024 is supposed to be “the year” for the Nits, but this is a formidable test out of the gate. Carla’s real happy this game is at Noon and not after sunset.

No. 14 Clemson vs. No. 1 Georgia (Noon ET Saturday, ABC): OK, Tigers. Let’s see what you’re made of. We know what Georgia is, and that’s an exceptionally good football team.

No. 19 Miami at Florida (3:30 ET Saturday, ABC): A heated rivalry with an added plot twist of head coaches in the hot seat.

No. 7 Notre Dame at No. 20 Texas A&M (7:30 ET Saturday, ABC): The Irish can’t afford to lose games like these this year, while the Aggies get a reboot under Mike Elko. This should be wildly entertaining.

No. 23 USC vs. No. 13 LSU (7:30 ET Sunday, ABC): This is a matchup designed for Vegas. Lots of offensive potential … and defensive questions … on both teams.

Carla gives honorable mentions to South Dakota State at Oklahoma State (2 ET Saturday, ESPN+) because of that whole aforementioned Dakota thing as well as Miami (OH) at Northwestern (3:30 ET Saturday, BTN) as we get our first look at the Wildcats’ makeshift lakefront stadium.

Also of note are Derek Mason’s home opener at MTSU as the Raiders host Tennessee Tech (7 ET Saturday, ESPN+) and Carla and AJ’s alma mater, Robert Morris, which travels to Utah State (8 ET Saturday, ESPN+).

And while there’s not a true Hawaii test this week, there is one heck of a late game – Wyoming at Arizona State (10:30 ET Saturday, FS1).

Crappy, meanwhile, is looking forward to his two teams kicking off their seasons: Akron at No. 2 Ohio State (3:30 ET Saturday, CBS) because the song is officially ours now, and Ohio at Syracuse (3:30 ET Saturday, ACCN).

So, yes, friends. Enjoy the long weekend of college football, and we’ll catch up with you again next week … after five. Cheers, yinz.