Do you scroll social media and walk away feeling less than? Like everyone else is doing amazing things, and you're not important, not making a difference, and not even sure what your calling is? Who told you that?

In this episode, Pam shares five ways comparison is costing you, and how to stop comparing and start walking in your true identity. It's not a problem with your abilities. It's a problem with your identity.

## In this episode - **00:00** Who told you that? Plus an invitation to the free From Identity to Influence workshop - **02:30** Welcome to episode 254: comparison is costing you more than you know - **04:20** It's not your abilities, it's your identity - **04:45** 1. Don't borrow a title that isn't yours. Pam's unfair fitness comparison, why it's a "them vs. Him" problem, and the speaker story that shows why you can't compare - **10:50** 2. "What is that to you? You must follow Me." What Jesus told Peter, and what He's telling you - **13:10** 3. Test your own work. Elevate your perspective, and three questions to ask before you compare - **17:30** 4. Turn comparison into celebration - **18:55** 5. Identify your secret sauce. God didn't make any copies - **21:15** Join the free From Identity to Influence workshop on November 10

## Three questions to ask when you start comparing 1. Is it true? 2. Did God tell me that? 3. What has God asked *me* to do today?

## Scriptures in this episode - John 21:21-22 - Galatians 6:4-5 - Ephesians 2:10 - Ephesians 3:20 - 1 Corinthians 12 (one body, many parts)

## Quotes to remember - "We don't want to be like them. We want to be like Him." - "Leaders who celebrate others grow influence, and leaders who compare shrink influence." - "God didn't make any copies."

## Reflection Who do you catch yourself comparing to? This week, send her a message to celebrate her, then ask God, "What have You asked *me* to do today?"

## Free resource Download the free L.E.A.D. Framework: pampegram.com/leadframework

## Free workshop: From Identity to Influence Tuesday, November 10, at 7:00 PM Central, online. Join live to ask your questions and win special prizes. Can't make it live? Sign up anyway, and you'll get the recording. **Save your free seat:** pampegram.com/workshop

*Called to Lead. Created to influence.*

Do you feel God calling you to more, but you're stuck? It's probably not about your abilities. It's about your identity. If the enemy can't steal your salvation, he'll come after your identity, because he doesn't want you walking in who God says you are.

In this episode, Pam names three common lies that keep Christian women from leading, influencing and making the impact God has called them to make, and gives you the scriptures to speak back over each one.

In this episode

• 00:00 You're called to more, so why are you stuck?
• 00:55 Identity theft: why the enemy goes after your identity
• 01:45 Lie 1: "I'm not qualified." Pam's story of feeling like a fraud with "Pam Pegram, writer" on her contact card, and why feeling unqualified is an invitation to rely on God
• 04:55 Lie 2: "I've messed up too much." Your past is a chapter in your story, not who you are, and the $100 bill that never loses its value
• 08:10 Lie 3: "Someone else could do it better." Why that's your fear talking, and the role only you can fill
• 09:50 Obedience brings clarity, confidence and a life rooted in your identity in Christ
• 10:50 Join the free From Identity to Influence workshop on November 10

Scriptures to speak over the lies

"I'm not qualified": 2 Corinthians 3:5, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Philippians 4:13

"I've messed up too much": Romans 8:1, Isaiah 43:18-19, 1 John 1:9

"Someone else could do it better": Ephesians 2:10, Ephesians 3:20, Romans 12:4-5

Write them on cards and keep them where you can find them. When the lie shows up, speak truth over it.

Quotes to remember

• "We have to speak truth over the lie."
• "Anything in your past is just a chapter in your story. It is not who you are."
• "Nobody can tell you who you are better than God's Word."

Reflection

Which of these three lies hit closest to home? Write it down, ask yourself, "Who told you that?" and write God's truth right beside it.

Free workshop: From Identity to Influence

Tuesday, November 10, at 7:00 PM [Central], online. We'll go deeper into identity, map out the scriptures, and get rid of the lies for good so you can walk in who God created you to be.

Save your free seat: pampegram.com/workshop

Friends don't let friends miss opportunities like this, so share this episode with a friend who needs it.

Called to Lead. Created to influence.

Connect with Pam:

• Website: pampegram.com
• Instagram: @pampegram
• Facebook: Confident Christian Leadership Group

Do you replay every decision until you feel completely stuck? You want to get it right and honor God, but somewhere along the way, careful thinking turned into overthinking.

In this episode, Pam shares 5 biblical truths to help you stop overthinking, find God-given clarity, and take your next faithful step with confidence.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why overthinking is often fear in disguise
• Why bringing your decisions to God first changes everything
• The simple swap: trade your “what if” for “even if”
• How to ask God for wisdom, and expect Him to answer
• Why clarity comes as you move, not before you take the step
• How to use the L.E.A.D. Framework when you feel stuck

Scriptures mentioned:

• Philippians 4:6–8
• James 1:5
• Psalm 119:105
• Philippians 4:13
• Ephesians 2:10

Your next step: Choose one decision you’ve been circling. Pray about it, set a deadline, and take one faithful step this week.

Free resource: Download the LEAD Framework at pampegram.com/leadframework

Read the blog post: How to Stop Overthinking Decisions: 5 Biblical Truths for Clarity

Connect with Pam:

• Website: pampegram.com
• Instagram: @pampegram
• Facebook: Confident Christian Leadership Group

Do you sense that God is calling you to something more—or something different—but you just can’t seem to move forward?

Maybe you’re waiting for more clarity. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll get it wrong. Maybe you know what to do, but you keep hesitating. Or perhaps you don’t feel qualified, confident, or like you have enough time to actually do what God is asking you to do.

In this episode of Confident Christian Influence, we’re talking about five things that may be keeping you stuck when it comes to walking in God’s plan for your life.

We’ll talk about:

• Why you don’t need the entire plan before taking the next step
• How fear of failure can keep you trying to control the outcome
• The difference between waiting on God and simply hesitating
• Why feeling unqualified doesn’t mean you aren’t called
• How to make room for what God is asking you to do in this season
• Why obedience often requires moving forward before you feel completely ready

And underneath all five? There’s a common thread: we want certainty before obedience.

We want to know where it’s going. We want to know we’ll succeed. We want to feel ready and capable. And we’d really like the timing to be convenient.

But following God requires trust.

You don’t have to know the whole plan. You don’t have to feel completely confident. And you don’t have to guarantee the outcome.

You simply need to be willing to take the next faithful step.

Ready to grow as a Christ-centered leader and become more intentional about the influence God has entrusted to you?

Download my free LEAD Framework and begin leading with greater clarity, confidence, and Christ-centered influence.

Get it here: pampegram.com/leadframework

If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend who may be feeling called—but stuck.

Lead on, sis. ❤️

Do you feel pressure to get everything right as a leader? Maybe you’re overwhelmed by responsibility, constantly trying to prove yourself, or worried about disappointing the people around you.

Christian leadership was never meant to be lived from a place of pressure, performance, or people-pleasing.

In this milestone 250th episode of the Confident Christian Influence podcast, we’re talking about how to lead with peace, confidence, and faith—even when you’re carrying significant responsibility, making hard decisions, or leading people who may not agree with you.

Because here’s the truth: You can be doing exactly what God has called you to do and still be doing it from a place He never called you to live.

• How to recognize when you’re leading from pressure instead of peace

• The difference between carrying responsibility and carrying a weight God never asked you to carry

• How to stop believing that everything depends on you

• Why your identity in Christ is not determined by your success, performance, or results

• How comparison, perfectionism, achievement, and the need for recognition can affect Christian women in leadership

• How to overcome people-pleasing and stop allowing other people’s approval to drive your decisions

• Why being a loving Christian leader does not mean keeping everyone happy

• How to handle difficult conversations, boundaries, accountability, and unpopular leadership decisions

• How to pursue excellence without tying your worth to the outcome

• How to trust God and lead from a place of peace—even when leadership feels hard

Pressure says: “It all depends on me.”

But it doesn’t. As a Christian leader, you are responsible for obedience, faithfulness, and doing the work God has given you. God is responsible for the outcome.

Performance says: “I have something to prove.”

You don’t. Your worth and identity are already established by God. A win doesn’t make you more valuable, and a disappointing result doesn’t make you less valuable—or less called.

People-pleasing says: “I need their approval.”

You can love people without being led by their approval. Faithful Christian leadership sometimes requires a difficult conversation, a boundary, a no, accountability, or a decision someone else doesn’t like.

And then there’s peace.

Peace says:

“I know who I am. I know Who called me. And I can trust Him with the outcome.”

Friend, you don’t have to lead overwhelmed, anxious, afraid, or constantly trying to prove yourself.

You can pursue excellence. You can lead boldly. You can make hard decisions. You can carry significant responsibility.

And you can do all of it from a place of Christ-centered peace.

Colossians 3:15 — Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your heart.

John 14:27 — Jesus gives us the gift of peace of mind and heart.

Romans 8:6 — Letting the Spirit control our minds leads to life and peace.

What is driving your leadership right now—pressure, performance, people-pleasing, or peace?

You were never meant to lead alone. The Holy Spirit is at work in you and through you. You have nothing to prove, and you don’t need everyone’s approval.

Know who you are. Know Who called you. Trust Him with the outcome.

And lead from peace.

Want to grow as a confident, Christ-centered leader?

Download my LEAD Framework and discover four shifts you can begin making today to grow your leadership, influence, and impact.

Get the free LEAD Framework: pampegram.com/leadframework

Have you ever wondered if you missed your moment?

Maybe you thought you would have figured out your calling by now. Maybe life took a different path than you expected. Or maybe you sense God stirring something new in you, but you find yourself thinking, Am I too old? Is it too late to start something new?

Friend, you are not too late for God to use your life.

In this episode, I’m sharing something very personal—the recent launch of Courage to Rise Project, a nonprofit I helped start at 62 years old. This wasn’t part of some long-term plan. It began with a burden I couldn’t ignore, a need God kept putting in front of me, and a decision to take the next step even though I couldn’t see the whole plan.

We’ll talk about:

• Why you need to stop disqualifying yourself because of your age or season of life

• How God can use everything you’ve walked through—even the hard parts

• Why your calling doesn’t have to be big or visible to matter

• The importance of taking the next faithful step instead of waiting for the entire plan

• Why you don’t have to wait until fear disappears to move forward

• How your obedience may impact people you haven’t even met yet

Maybe you’re not behind. Maybe you haven’t missed your opportunity. Maybe everything God has taught you up until this point has been preparing you for what He wants to do through you now.

Instead of asking, “Is it too late?” begin asking:

“God, what would You have me do with the season I’m in right now?”

You don’t need the whole plan. You don’t have to feel completely ready. You just need to be willing to take the next faithful step.

Scripture: Joshua 1:9; Romans 8:28

Learn more about Courage to Rise Project: couragetoriseproject.org

Connect with Pam: pampegram.com

Is your comfort zone keeping you from fully stepping into what God is calling you to do?

It’s easy to stay where life feels safe, familiar, and manageable. But sometimes our desire to stay comfortable becomes the very thing that keeps us from obeying God, growing in our faith, and experiencing what He wants to do in us and through us.

In this episode of Confident Christian Influence, Pam shares her own journey from being terrified to speak in front of a handful of women to speaking to hundreds and even thousands, writing a book, becoming a Christian leadership coach, hosting a podcast, and now stepping outside her comfort zone again to launch a nonprofit.

You'll discover three important truths about stepping outside your comfort zone:

• The good stuff often happens outside your comfort zone. When God calls you beyond what you can comfortably accomplish in your own strength, you have the opportunity to depend on His strength and experience Him working through you.

• It's not about you—it's about Him. Instead of focusing on whether you're qualified, afraid, or capable, you can shift your focus to God's plan, His purpose, His strength, and His glory.

• Your comfort zone expands every time you choose courage and obedience. The things that scare you today may become the very experiences God uses to prepare you for what He asks you to do tomorrow.

You don't have to make one giant leap. Sometimes God is simply asking you to take the next small step of faith and trust Him to meet you there.

Today's step outside your comfort zone can become tomorrow's evidence that God can be trusted.

So ask yourself: Where have I gotten too comfortable? What is my comfort zone costing me? And is fear keeping me from something I know God is asking me to do?

If you've been struggling with fear, stepping outside your comfort zone, trusting God, finding courage, following God's calling, Christian leadership, or taking your next step of faith, this episode will encourage you to stop allowing your limitations to determine your obedience and trust God with what happens when you say yes.

• How to step outside your comfort zone and trust God

• Why obedience to God sometimes requires getting uncomfortable

• How fear can keep you from following God's calling

• Why focusing on your limitations keeps you stuck

• How to depend on God's strength instead of your own

• How small steps of courage expand your comfort zone

• What it means to “do it afraid” as a Christian

• How God uses uncomfortable situations to grow your faith and leadership

• How to recognize when comfort may be keeping you from your next step

If you're ready to be stretched, grow in your faith, and become the leader God is calling you to be, learn more about Called to Lead: Clarity, Confidence, and Christ-Centered Influence at pampegram.com/calledtolead.

Who are you? It's a simple question, but many of us answer it by talking about what we do, what we've accomplished, what we've survived, or what others think about us.

The problem is that when our identity is rooted in anything other than Christ, our confidence becomes fragile. We compare ourselves to others, seek approval, fear failure, and hesitate to walk in God's calling.

In this episode, Pam shares why understanding your identity in Christ changes everything—from the way you lead to the way you influence others and respond to life's challenges. Drawing from Scripture and her own personal journey, she explains why identity always shapes behavior and how God wants us to lead from security instead of striving.

If you've ever struggled with feeling "not enough," this episode will encourage you to replace the lies you've believed with the truth of God's Word.

• Why everyone has an identity—and what should shape yours.
• How your beliefs determine your behavior.
• Why Satan attacks your identity before your calling.
• The biblical pattern of God speaking identity before assignment.
• Why you can stop striving to become who God has already declared you to be.
• How knowing your identity transforms your confidence, leadership, and influence.
• Practical questions to help you identify lies and replace them with God's truth.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT) "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun."

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Romans 8:15–16 (NLT) "So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him Abba Father. For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.

• What has shaped your identity more than God's Word?
• Are you leading from confidence in Christ or striving for approval?
• What lie have you believed about yourself that God wants to replace with His truth?
• What step of obedience is God asking you to take this week?

The next time a limiting thought enters your mind, stop and ask yourself:

"Who told me that?"

If the answer doesn't align with what God says about you in His Word, reject the lie and replace it with His truth.

Remember:

• You are chosen.
• You are loved.
• You are forgiven.
• You are God's masterpiece.
• Your past does not determine your purpose.

Lead this week from your identity as a daughter of the King—not from your fears, feelings, or past failures.

Don't forget - text this episode to a friend.

📥 Download the FREE L.E.A.D. Framework Learn practical ways to lead with clarity, confidence, and Christ-centered influence.

👉 https://pampegram.com/leadframework

🌐 Website: https://pampegram.com

📖 Read the blog for this episode and discover more biblical encouragement for leading with confidence and purpose.