What is the Anti-Social Social Club?
You ever heard about this term?...... it is that paradoxical vibe where everyone’s talking about how they’re disconnected from the world, yet they're online, posting selfies and thoughts 24/7, doom scrolling just like me on Instagram, it is okay to doom scroll & cut off from the world sometimes but don’t make it habit, block & cut out the social media world sometimes for your mental peace. It is like wearing a mask of “I’m too cool to care,” but secretly being obsessed with how many people are paying attention when you post a reel on Instagram or a picture, I am guilty of this sometimes. Generally after I post, I immediately log off Instagram so I do not get obsessed with the like count & the view count. So, the social media's twisted cousin? Who is that? acting like you are too good for social norms, but always thirsty for validation. I mean who does not like validation & being praised? we all do, balance is key.

The Digital Paradox

We live in an age of hyper-connectivity. Apps like WhatsApp, Zoom, Instagram, Tiktok, and even good old Facebook promise to bring us closer together. And yet, how many of us feel lonelier than ever? I do, I do feel lovely sometimes,

So studies show that excessive use of social media is linked to feelings of isolation and anxiety. Why? Because digital connections, while convenient, often lack the depth and nuance of real human interaction.

Are We Becoming Islands?

There is a famous saying, “No man is an island,” but in today’s world, we are all building our own private islands with Wi-Fi, OTT streaming platforms, Youtube and our curated playlists. And let is be real, islands might look pretty on postcards, but they are lonely places to live.

Why It Matters

This is not just about missing out on brunch dates or weekend plans. It is about our mental health, our ability to collaborate, and even the survival of communities. When we stop interacting in meaningful real ways, we lose the skills to navigate real-world relationships. Ever wonder why ghosting has become so common? It is easier to swipe left than to deal with the complexities of human connection. It is easy to say “thank you next” than you take out the time & maturity to sit & listen to the needs & wants of the other person.

The Fix: Intentional Socializing

So, how do we step out of this Anti-Social Social Club and start building bridges instead of walls? And not burning bridges.

At the end of the day, being part of the Anti-Social Social Club might feel safe especially for your heart right ? , but it is a hollow kind of safety. Life is messy, noisy, and sometimes uncomfortable, but it is also vibrant, colourful, and deeply rewarding when shared with others. So, what is it going to be? Do we keep retreating into our private bubbles.

Thanks for tuning in to my podcast people together people. If this stirred something in you, don’t forget to share it with your friends & family and let’s get the conversation rolling. Until next time, stay thoughtful and stay connected, stay moisturised, stay hydrated, drink water & stay blessed. Love you all.

Cancel Culture vs. Accountability: Are we really doing it right?

You have seen it everywhere—Twitter mobs with their revenge trending hashtags, Instagram outrage on comments section saying cancel her or cancel him, because in 2010 this person has commented something bad so cancel him now in 2024, or TikTok trends where people are either being cancelled or “held accountable” for something they said or did. But here is the million-dollar question: Are we getting it right, or is this a toxic trend that we need to rethink & redo?

The Rise of Cancel Culture

Let us talk about cancel culture for a minute, especially for the unversed. It started with good intentions, right? Holding people accountable for harmful behaviour, especially when it comes to issues like racism, sexism, or harmful stereotypes. But somewhere along the way, it took a turn. Now, it is not just about accountability but about shutting people down. Boom. You are done. No questions asked.

Take, for instance, the cancellation during the Met Gala of this year 2024, influencer Haley “Baylee” Kalil made a TikTok showing off her costume per the theme & said “Let them eat cake” I noticed that the internet hounds Hailey Beiber & many others particularly female celebrities such as Taylor Swift who boast of a massive fan following but its followed by a massive number of haters who hate her for dating someone, I mean this same scrutinizing lens that is put on women celebrities are not put on male celebrities like Leonardo di Caprio & many more celebrities. As per a report on an article online, women celebrities get 2. 25 % more sexist tweets than male celebrities.

Yes, cancelling should be done for the right & correct reasons & only to the ones who have no chance at redemptions, something like Diddy do it?

The Problem with No Redemption

Here is the thing: accountability is necessary. But should it always come with a permanent stamp of disapproval? Not really. Think about it—when did we become a society that celebrates & enjoys tearing others down instead of trying to build them up? When did we stop believing in growth, change, forgiveness and in redemption where redemption & change is possible?

I mean, are we all saints?

The Accountability Disconnect

Now, do not get me wrong—accountability is KEY.

Look at how quickly people jumped on Elizabeth Olsen, Chloe Bailey, Pete Davidson, Selena Gomez, and Hailey Bieber, for something that did not quite warrant the massive backlash they received.

what is the real goal? Should the goal be about punishment, or should we be encouraging people to do better? & be better?

The Line Between Cancel and Accountability

If we are cancelling people for minor mistakes or misunderstandings, aren’t we just creating a society of fear and paranoia? Isn’t accountability supposed to be about growth, not punishment?

Recent Examples—Are We Getting It Right?

Let us bring it home with some examples, shall we? Kathy Griffin, Sharon Osbourne, Ellen DeGeneres, Ellie Kemper, Jimmy Fallon, and Chrissy Teigen all have faced the wrath of social media

Remember Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction during the Superbowl? Both Janet Jackson & Justin Timberlake apologies, the public called it a “nipplegate” ! CBS, MTV and the NFL all apologised the very next day, But it was a far bigger nightmare for her than for Timberlake, something he acknowledged during a 2006 interview with MTV, when he said he probably received 10 per cent of the blame that critics hurled at them, citing gender and race as factors for the disparity. We live in a world where cancel culture can feel like it is thriving off outrage. But can we learn from mistakes if we are not given space to grow?

The Final Word: It is All About Balance

Here is the bottom line, folks—balance is everything. Let us start focusing on growth, not just punishment.

So, what do you think? Are we really holding people accountable, or are we just cancelling everyone who messes up?

Let me know your thoughts—slide into my DMs on instagram or leave a comment, because trust me, we are only getting started on this conversation.

The Hookup Culture Trap: Why It is Time to Swipe Left for Good

What Even Is Hookup Culture? For the unversed Hookup culture is that pervasive idea that casual sex is the norm—no strings attached, no feelings, just instant gratification. Wham bam thank you maam, score brooooo, thank you next ,left her on read broooo after last night hahahha score…On the surface, it looks liberating and wow so freeing right ? SO COOL , SO HIP & HAPPENING , You do you, right? But dig deeper, like I said earlier, don’t be surface level, be deeper, think deeper , about the root , the cause & its eventual negative effect on the long term and you’ll see it’s more about escapism than empowerment. It encourages shallow connections over meaningful bonds, treating intimacy like a commodity instead of something, well, intimate, between two people who make it special & make it mean something, after you have sex, it should make you feel nice & it should not make you feel empty from inside just like when you take a chemical drug.

And now Why Is hooking up So Popular? The rise of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, ahh grinder and the infinite swipe has made hookup culture almost unavoidable. Add in pop culture & the celebrities hyping it up as cool and modern, and voila, there you go—you’ve got a generation conditioned to chase instant gratification at the cost of genuine honest connection. Hooking up is easy, it is convenient, and, let’s face it, yes it is for sure less scary than putting your heart on the line. So what people are doing now is protecting their heart from being broken.

But here is the catch: convenience is not always good for you. Sometimes, convenience might be good but not always, for example Fast food is convenient, too, but you would not want to live on it, right? You want home cooked meals for your own physical health for the long term.

The Emotional Fallout Let us get real: hookup culture is a breeding ground for emotional damage. We are talking feelings of emptiness, lack of self-worth, and even depression. Studies show that casual sex often leads to regret and a sense of being used, especially among young people who buy into the myth that sex without commitment is equal to freedom.

But freedom from what, exactly? Nobody has caged you so What do you want to be free from? Free from genuine intimacy? Free from vulnerability? Free from love? Don’t you want love? The truth is, we are not escaping anything. We are just numbing ourselves to what it means to be truly connected to another person.

Now How Hook up culture is Hurting Society at large Now, let us zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Hookup culture is not just messing up people—it is destabilizing the very fabric of relationships…. in society.

Why This Narrative Needs to Change Here is the thing: intimacy is not just about physicality. It is about trust, understanding, and vulnerability, you know you are opening not only your body but also your soul to that person. Hookup culture robs us of that depth, leaving us with a hollow version of connection.

We need to start valuing emotional intimacy as much as physical intimacy. That means redefining what is “cool” in modern dating.

Spoiler: It is not ghosting someone after a one-night stand. It is building something real and lasting.

The Role of Media and Influencers Media and influencers play a massive role in perpetuating hookup culture. Think about it: how often do you see rom-coms where the hookup turns into a fairytale romance? Reality check, it does not ever, hook up is hook up, wham bam thank you maam

We need a new narrative—one that celebrates commitment, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence. And yes, influencers, I’m looking at you. Let’s start a trend where being in a healthy, committed relationship is the new IT THING.

How Do We Cancel Hookup Culture? Cancelling hookup culture doesn’t mean cancelling casual dating entirely—it means shifting the focus back to respect, honesty, and intention.

Final Thoughts Hookup culture promises freedom, but what it delivers is emptiness. It’s time to move past this shallow trend and build a society that values real, meaningful connections.

So, what do you think? Are you ready to swipe left on hookup culture? Let me know your thoughts—I’d love to hear from you. And remember, the change starts with us.

Outro Thanks for tuning in to The Thought Stirrer. If this stirred something in you, don’t forget to share it with your friends & family and let’s get the conversation rolling. Until next time, stay thoughtful and stay connected, stay moisturised, stay hydrated & stay blessed. Love you all , bye

Women DONT NEED MEN !

Healing Begins with Accountability

Here’s the thing: healing is an inside job. And the first step for someone who’s hurting is to take responsibility. It’s easy to say, “I’m like this because of my past,” but it’s much harder—and way more empowering—to say, “I’m choosing to break this cycle.” Taking accountability doesn’t mean blaming oneself for the hurt they’ve experienced; it’s about recognizing that they don’t have to carry it forward.

People who are hurting need to give themselves permission to unpack that backpack of pain. Whether it’s through therapy, self-reflection, or just the honest work of facing their wounds, healing takes courage. It’s not a quick fix, and it’s often messy, but each small step chips away at the walls they’ve built.

Breaking the Cycle

When hurt people choose to break the cycle, they not only free themselves but also those around them. They learn to trust again, to communicate without hidden barbs, and to love without conditions. It’s a journey, sure, but one that brings real freedom. Imagine going from a place of constant self-protection to actually connecting with others, to letting their guard down and embracing genuine intimacy.

For those on the receiving end of someone’s unresolved pain, setting boundaries is key. You can’t heal someone else, but you can choose not to absorb their hurt. It’s okay to say, “I love you, but I won’t allow your hurt to hurt me.” Boundaries give everyone space to breathe, to heal in their own time, and to build relationships on mutual respect rather than shared wounds.

A Reminder of Empathy

Ultimately, understanding that hurt people hurt people can make us all a bit more empathetic. This doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior or allowing mistreatment. But it helps to remember that sometimes, when people lash out, they’re dealing with more than what’s on the surface. There’s a lot of hurt behind that reaction, a story that’s often complicated, messy, and unresolved.

And here’s a little silver lining: knowing that someone else’s pain might be causing their behavior helps us to approach them with compassion. Sometimes, kindness can be the first step in helping them see a different path, one where healing is possible.

In the End, Healing is Worth It

In a world where we’re all a bit bruised and battered, choosing to break the cycle is a radical act of love. It’s saying, “I’ve been hurt, but I won’t let that define how I treat others.” When hurt people decide to heal, they reclaim their power. They no longer have to live reactively, spreading the pain they once endured. Instead, they can live with purpose, compassion, and openness.

So, the next time you encounter someone who’s lashing out, remember that there’s a story there—a story that may be full of hurt, but also one with the potential for healing. And maybe, just maybe, we can all be a little gentler with each other as we navigate our individual journeys, carrying our pasts but not letting them dictate our futures.

Hurt People Hurt People: The Ripple Effect of Pain

Alright, picture this: you’re at a party, having a good time, maybe even chatting with someone who seems cool. But suddenly, someone comes along, says something unnecessarily harsh, or perhaps even starts a bit of drama out of nowhere. You’re left wondering, “Why did they do that? What’s going on?”

We’ve all had these moments—when someone’s actions sting nd the sting doesn’t quite make sense. That’s where the concept of “hurt people hurt people” comes in. Let’s dive into why people who’ve been through pain sometimes spread it around like confetti (except, not the fun kind). So grab a coffee, get cozy, and maybe wear a little armor, because this ride goes through some real-life rough patches.