It’s Week 5 of the college football season, and what we know for sure is this: You’ll need as many screens as humanly possible for the primetime window on Saturday.

We have a jam-packed slate ahead of us with so many games with intriguing storylines, we had a super hard time whittling them down. And also … add the extremely likely possibility that a bunch of these games will be impacted by heavy rain from a tropical system. That all adds up to a weekend of potential chaos.

But before we look ahead, we look back to a weekend that was nearly as eventful as the one approaching. Carla was especially excited that the Stanford Postulate lives again in 2024, but not nearly as excited about the return of Bert Ball in Illinois. Also, Vandy had a true college kicker moment, and James Madison made a big-time statement, among many other things. Crappy, meanwhile, continues to be impressed by Tennessee and was pleased to see his Bucks make improvements over Marshall.

While AJ wasn’t able to join us live (something about visiting the Navy or whatever), he did offer a video version of his #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report, which is absolutely stacked, as usual.

And then, the games at hand. Or at least the ones that we whittled it down to.

No. 20 Oklahoma State at No. 23 Kansas State (Noon ET, ESPN): Which team bounces back after last weekend’s loss? Also, the Pokes have a QB situation, and Carla can’t remember who coaches in Stillwater. (Oops.)

No. 15 Louisville at No. 16 Notre Dame (3:30 ET, Peacock): Meet the first “likely to be impacted by substantial rain” game of our preview. We predict a sloppy one in South Bend.

No. 2 Georgia at No. 4 Alabama (7:30 ET, ABC): While neither of us can get a good read on either of these teams, what we know for sure is that this will be a banger of a game.

No. 19 Illinois at No. 9 Penn State (7:30 ET, NBC): There are white out conditions possible in Beaver Stadium on Saturday night, but that doesn’t make Carla any less nervous.

Washington State at No. 25 Boise State (10 ET, FS1): Points. Lots and lots of points. And Crappy’s all in on the John Mateer bandwagon.

So, yeah, about that primetime window. Including the games mentioned above, there’s also:

• No. 3 Ohio State at Michigan State (7 ET, Peacock): The second likely major rain game on the slate.

• Stanford at No. 17 Clemson (7 ET, ESPN): Will the Stanford Postulate and Clemsoning collide? (We certainly hope so!)

• Florida State at SMU (8 ET, ACCN): This has Show Ponies written all over it. Eek.

• Tulsa at North Texas (7 ET, ESPN+): The highest fun index of the week at 68.5.

• MTSU at Memphis (7:30 ET, ESPNU): The Blue Raiders get another national spotlight.

Screens. Lots and lots of screens. And also, caffeinate, because the After Dark slate is silly good as well.

We think you get the idea here. It’s going to be an incredible weekend of college football, one way or another. Settle in, stay dry (and stay safe, Gulf Coasters), and we’ll see you next week when we attempt to recap all this in one episode. Ha! Cheers, yinz.

It’s Week 4 of the college football season, and we’re getting into the beginnings of conference play. This means that yes, the gang’s all here as AJ joins us live because we all need to remind ourselves of which teams are in which conferences. And in 2024, it also means locating the CW on your channel guide.

Before we get into this week’s action, we look back at what was a busy weekend of, well, a lot of things. Despite AJ spending his Saturday morning looking at poop and Carla dancing the weekend away at a wedding in Chicago, we all had at least a few takeaways from last week, most of them of the lowlight variety. (We’re looking at you, Vandy, Purdue, MTSU, Florida State, and Georgia.) Crappy quizzes AJ and Carla on the revived Pac-6 and the stupidly low fun index on this week’s Iowa at Minnesota (7:30 ET, NBC) matchup, among other things.

AJ then leads us through his #GroupOfFiveAfterDark report which includes (among many other games) Cal at Florida State (7 ET, ESPN2) and No. 13 Kansas State at BYU (10:30 ET, ESPN), and even a game or two on the aforementioned CW. Also, there’s a Hawaii test this week, so plan accordingly.

Then, onto the ranked action. Again, as a reminder, all of these games are conference games. Ahem.

No. 24 Illinois at No. 22 Nebraska (8 ET Friday, FOX): Are we going to get to a 7-0 Nebraska? Bert and the Illini might have something to say about that on the road.

No. 11 USC at No. 18 Michigan (3:30 ET, CBS): Is USC for real? Can TTUN lose two big games at home in one season? You’ll be shocked at our answers to both of those questions. (Not really.)

No. 12 Utah at No. 14 Oklahoma State (4 ET, FOX): This one has dog fight written all over it, and we can’t come to a consensus on the outcome. And that means you should probably watch this game.

No. 6 Tennessee at No. 15 Oklahoma (7:30 ET, ABC): This will be either Nico’s coming out party … or a severe dose of reality. Playing in Norman at night historically has been an equalizer. We’ll see if that’s still true with the Sooners in the SEC.

We give lots of honorable mentions this week as well. AJ’s paying close attention to the Skillet Game, TCU at SMU (5 ET, CW). Crappy’s interested in both of his teams, Marshall at No. 3 Ohio State (Big Nude, FOX) and Ohio at Kentucky (12:45 ET, SECN). And also, not surprisingly, Carla’s got her eyes on Kent State at No. 10 Penn State (3:30 ET, BTN), but is most looking forward to homecoming as MTSU hosts Duke (4 ET, ESPNU) and celebrating Ellie’s third birthday at the parade, which obviously is for her. Obviously.

And so with that, we say, “Yay, feetball.” Enjoy all of the action and we’ll be back again next week. Cheers, yinz.

Welcome back to the Carla and Crappy show, the title of which Crappy apparently just remembered this week — and with it, a mini Wivalwy Week right here in the middle of September and some breaking news from the West Coast, courtesy of our #GroupOfFiveAfterDark correspondent AJ.

We look back before we look ahead, and Week Two was huge for the Mid-American Conference, with one massive upset and one mighty uncomfortable game in Happy Valley for Carla. Crappy is pleased with the progress on Ohio State’s offensive line and happy with his Bobcats beating Alabama (of the directional variety) at home in Athens. Outside of our B1G bubbles, we note the Longhorns’ massacre of the Team Up North, Tennessee’s big win and the possibility that Syracuse could make waves in the ACC.

Crappy was pleased to read of Carnegie Mellon’s huge win over Thiel, and he’s planning to see the Tartans in person on Saturday at their home opener against Geneva.

BREAKING NEWS: We sent AJ to #AfterDark land — Phoenix, specifically — and he didn’t disappoint, being among the first correspondents to break some Pac-6 news this week. He’s also got a full list of games to put your eyeballs on this weekend.

Carla and Crappy also focus on the West Coast, as two huge games out that way make up half of our mini-Wivalwy Week slate:

No. 20 Arizona at No. 14 Kansas State (8 p.m. Friday, Fox): The Battle of the Wildcats could turn out to be a rough trip for the visitors.

No. 24 Boston College at No. 6 Missouri (12:45 p.m., SEC Network): Boston native Bill O’Brien has enjoyed his homecoming at BC so far, but the PowerCats are tested and also off to a good start.

The Civil War: No. 9 Oregon at Oregon State (3:30 p.m., Fox): The Ducks were predicted to be one of the top teams in the country at the season’s outset; they’ve instead looked supremely mortable in their first two outings. And your rivalry game isn’t the right time to try to get well.

The Apple Cup: Washington State at Washington (3:30 p.m., Peacock): Another former PAC-12 rivalry. And maybe another spurned rival poised for an upset on the road?

The Backyard Brawl: West Virginia at Pitt (3:30 p.m., ESPN 2): The Mountaineers are favored in the Mustard Bowl, while Pitt is still riding high after a massive comeback at Cincinnati last week. Can the ‘neers bring the Panthers back to earth?

Carla’s honorable mentions for the week go to No. 14 Alabama at Wisconsin (Big Nude, Fox), No. 16 LSU at South Carolina (Noon, ABC), Vandy at Georgia State (7 p.m., ESPN+) and the Big One — The 100 Miles of Hate: Western Kentucky at Middle Tennessee (7 p.m., ESPN+). Go Jake Rose and Go Blue. Crappy, meanwhile, will keep an eye on his OU Bobcats as they host FCS opponent Morgan State (3:30 p.m., ESPN+).

Enjoy those Wivalwy games, boys and girls, along with the rest of this week’s excellent slate. Cheers, yinz.