Send us a text

Cultural anthropologists and nude volleyball magazine collectors Adam and Jeff gather at the desk of the Omaha Bugle to talk about those people who yearn for the “good old days.” As most people who yearn for the fun of subsistence living and widespread disease and death have no idea how bad things were back then, Adam and Jeff waste no time in describing some of the fun when life was “nasty, brutish and short.” They also point out that everything in the good old days took so much time to do whether it involved collecting wood for a fire or trapping animals or even drawing water for a bath that there was no time to contemplate the lack of leisure time.

Send us a text

Noted coinage experts Adam and Jeff convene in an effort to calm down the public, which is panicking over the halt in production of the penny after 232 years. Jeff points out that there are almost 300,000,000,000 pennies floating around and that there is very little likelihood that we will run out of pennies anytime soon. Adam also notes that younger people do not use cash much at all, preferring to carry out their financial transactions with debit and credit cards. As the end of penny production will save an estimated $56 million per year, this awe-inspiring example of financial brilliance will doubtless help the government get its $2 trillion in deficit spending under control in the next few weeks.

Send us a text

Adam recounts the story of a man who was released from prison after 26 years for having stolen a gold chain and a wedding ring. The sole witness against him was a repeat offender who had various drug and alcohol issues that caused his credibility to be called into question--but apparently not enough to secure the release the accused. Jeff talks about how District Attorneys have enormous discretion and the full power of the state so that they can secure an indictment against anyone for almost any offense. He points out that ordinary people have no real chance because they cannot afford high priced defense attorneys; they will often cut a deal to avoid being forced into bankruptcy. Adam wonders about corruption in the political arena, particularly when members of Congress, for example, have access to legislation that can impact the prices of stocks before this information is released to the public. Both are concerned about the unwillingness of members of Congress to reach across the aisle--even though the aisle is barely 3 feet wide.

Send us a text

Noted government shutdown experts Adam and Jeff offer their opinions as to who won the most recent government shutdown. Jeff points out that most shutdowns accomplish very little because they are typically instigated by the party out of power who then must bear the wrath of the public when they are unable to secure any concessions in short order. Jeff points out that the Democrats, who won several elections a couple of weeks earlier, decided that there was nothing more to gain and had several senators not up for re-election next year vote to end the shutdown. Adam bemoans the fact that the Congress cannot do a budget anymore and believes that the Omaha Bugle should produce a TV show called "Real Housewives of Washington D.C." which would feature both the backbiting and catfights of similar reality shows but also show the housewives working together to balance their family budgets in order to maintain their lavish lifestyles. Finally, Adam and Jeff consider the possibility of locking the board of directors of the Omaha Bugle into a board room and creating their own shutdown in order to increase their take home pay.

Send us a text

Recent proposals that lenders be permitted to offer 50 year mortgages to help make housing more affordable to homebuyers has sparked intense debate. Never ones to shy away from wandering into the crossfire, Adam and Jeff consider the pros and cons of having an exciting new loan product that can encumber your property for your life, your childrens' lives and, possibly, much of your grandchildrens' lives. Jeff admits that he is concerned about the fact that the monthly payment on a $500,000 loan at 6%, for example, only drops by about $300 a month if the borrower chooses a 50 year mortgage over a 30 year mortgage. Unfortunately, the borrower then gets to pay that reduced amount for an additional 20 years--long past the time when he or she will even be able to remember where he or she lives or anything else for that matter. Adam thinks longer mortgages are nothing more than financial gimmicks that are offered by politicians anxious to show they are doing something without really doing anything at all to lower housing costs. Jeff suggests lavish tents could be a possible low-cost housing substitute. Adam and Jeff believe that the solutions are much more challenging because policymakers have to deal with the high costs of land, labor and materials as well as a regulatory environment that often discourages higher density building.

Send us a text

Noted White House historians and French postcard collectors Adam and Jeff offer their thoughts on the recent demolition by the Trump Administration of the East Wing of the White House to make way for a grand ballroom. Jeff points out that renovations are nothing new to the White House as it was first completely gutted when the British burned it down in 1814. Other improvements followed such as the construction of the East Wing during Franklin Roosevelt's administration where First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt could be housed in an office as far away as possible from the Oval Office on the other side of the building. Harry Truman presided over the most massive reconstruction of the White House in the late 1940s when its interior was largely rebuilt--leaving little more than the exterior walls intact. Although Truman's renovations were criticized for being out of character with the existing architecture, no body could answer how any such character could be preserved if the White House collapsed. Donald Trump's desire to build a 25,000 square foot ballroom to house up to 1,000 guests is the latest attempt to make the "people's house" a more pleasing experience for visiting dignitaries who might otherwise have to go fetch their plates at a tent on the front lawn or relieve themselves in one of the many convenient exterior portable toilets. In keeping with this patriotic duty to make a bigger, more beautiful East Wing in which the offices of the First Lady and the White House Calligrapher will be relocated, Adam and Jeff have called on the Omaha Bugle to contribute funds to participate in this magnificent building project.

Send us a text

Both Adam and Jeff retrieved their Nancy Pelosi t-shirts to honor her legacy as both the first female Speaker of the House and one of the foremost stock traders of all time. Adam pointed out that Mrs. Pelosi had begun her political career in 1987 with about $700,000 in stocks and bonds, most of which were jointly-owned with her husband, Paul. By the time she announced her retirement earlier this year, the value of her portfolio had increased more than 160-fold to over $130 million. Jeff and Adam applauded her stock picking prowess, noting that she had lapped the returns chalked up by that also-ran investor, Warren Buffet, by about 400 percent. Experts have wondered what sort of stock picking strategy she might have used with some malcontents suggesting that she may have had access to inside information in pending Congressional legislation before it was made public to assist in her selections. However, Jeff and Adam think this may be just a lot of sour grapes and that Mrs. Pelosi was very lucky and had access to a truly first-rate ouija board that they would both like to borrow. As far as Mrs. Pelosi's legacy as Speaker of the House is concerned, Jeff points out that she did lead efforts to impeach President Donald Trump on a weekly basis and offered several memorable quotes including the gem that "you have to first pass the bill to know what is in it."

Send us a text

Listeners of the Omaha Bugle who enjoy working with masonry products will enjoy this learned discussion by Adam and Jeff about the BRICS organization--an international collection of "bad actors" who have tried to set up an alternative banking and trading system. Although founded by Brazil, China, Russia, India and South Africa, BRICS is dominated by China, who wants to supplant the United States as the numero uno actor in the global trading system. More to the point, BRICS wants to replace the U.S. dollar with some sort of alternate currency such as the Chinese renminbi. Jeff points out that China is not exactly known for its transparent financial system or its enthusiasm for intellectual property rights--both of which would be needed to attract a greater share of trade denominated in renminbi. Adam points out that BRICS is far more dependent on trade with the U.S. and the other Western powers than the reverse and may not be a very strong alliance if those markets were to be closed off. Jeff also wonders why many countries would want to join an organization that is geared to benefiting its largest members; they can obtain observer status in BRICS which confers no real benefits but imposes no real burdens. Observer nations also receive nifty BRICS t-shirts and athletic wear.