The Session: 5 Important Fundamentals of Strong Marriages, from The Gottman Institute

Genesis 2:24, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

Research shows that the primary keys to staying married are not about avoiding conflict, but about building positive emotional habits, managing conflict constructively, and actively choosing the relationship.

The top five actionable things that significantly increase your probability of staying married include:

• Maintaining the "Magic Ratio": Couples who experience a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every one negative interaction during normal daily life are highly likely to have lasting marriages. This means building an emotional bank account through small compliments, expressions of appreciation, and inside jokes.
• Turning Toward Bids for Connection: In relationships, a partner makes "bids" when they reach out for attention, connection, or a response (e.g., pointing out a bird or sharing an interesting thought). According to The Gottman Institute, couples who stay together respond positively and lean into these bids 86% of the time, compared to 33% for couples who divorce.
• Avoiding the "Four Horsemen": Research shows you can predict divorce with scary accuracy if you allow four toxic communication patterns to take root: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Contempt—such as eye-rolling or mocking—is widely recognized as the single biggest predictor of relationship failure.
• Prioritizing Shared Time and Experiences: Research indicates that couples who engage in regular, dedicated date nights and invest in shared social and religious activities report significantly higher marital quality. Shared couple time reinforces your identity as a team rather than just two individuals co-existing.
• Accepting Influence and Tolerating Imperfection: Lasting relationships are built on compromise and accepting that most marital problems (about 69%) are perpetual issues rooted in personality differences. In heterosexual relationships specifically, research highlights that men who allow their wives to influence them and actively work to compromise have notably happier marriages.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com or email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com

The Session: The Importance of Laughter

Proverbs 17:22: A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Joyce Meyer writes in her article, “The Benefits of Laughter!”, “Laughter is so important! It’s the outward evidence of inward joy, and it is proven to make you feel better. The joy of the Lord can ease any emotional and physical pain and bring you a new level of satisfaction in life.”

It has been said that laughter is like internal jogging, and I think that is so true. Laughter improves emotional and mental health, it lifts our spirits, and it dispels worry. It’s almost impossible to be anxious and laugh at the same time. This is why we would be wise to express joy in laughter every chance we get.

Laughter helps in the battle against anxiety, fear and worry. It also helps in the battle against stress, which is the body’s response to what the mind is thinking.

Therapeutic Benefits of Laughter in Mental Health: A Theoretical Review, from the National Library of Medicine

Laughter is a strategy that has physical, psychological, and social impact in relationships improving health, ultimately improving the quality of life.

Laughter has a positive effect on the mental health and immune system.

Laughter reduces the stress making hormones found in the blood stream. This helps the impact on your health.

Laughter impacts cortisol, epinephrine, and dopamine levels.

Laughter releases endorphins- happy cells.

If laughter isn’t a “normal” part of us, how do we find it? Watch squirrels act squirrely out our office window? (no….no, I haven’t done that….)

How do we change a culture of battle or sadness to a culture of laughter in our home?

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com or email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com

The Session: Children of Divorce, an Overview of Research and Articles

Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come to me.”

Children of divorce, living in two households face complex emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges.

The Emotional Impact

• The impact of two houses has a direct hit or impact on the child’s security and stability
• The impact of two houses also causes a grieving process of the loss of having two biological parents in their house
• Children also feel torn between both houses. They fear showing allegiance to one. Parent may hurt the other parent.
• Children off, so feel hesitant and fearful of sharing their feelings in the two households because of the ramifications that could happen
• Often times children do not want to alienate the parent that appears to be hurt or could be hurt

The impact of divorce and two houses on a child relationship with God

• Children can struggle with issues a prayer, trust, and why did God allow this to happen to their family?

Coparenting Strategies for Healing

It is important for split families to focus on grace, forgiveness, and the child's well-being.

Todd Taylor writes in his article, the Secret to Success in Christian Coparenting

• Christian parenting in a split-home environment requires focusing on grace, forgiveness, and the child's well-being.
• The cornerstone of successful Christian co-parenting is always prioritizing your child’s physical and emotional well-being.

DLM Christian Lifestyle

• Daniel Maritz in DLM Christian Lifestyle states that broken families lead to broken societies

Focus on the Family, One Child Two Homes, elaborates on the problems, children face

• They live a life of constant transition.
• Life has two sets of parents, two groups of siblings and two different beds.
• It means switching between different rules and routines and having two homes yet often feeling as if he were not a part of either.
• Parents are often unaware of the stress a child endures when he’s shuffled between two homes.
• Children crave stability. In its absence, they may become territorial about their belongings and their space. Their “things” become their security.

Ways to help children of divorce living in two separate homes

• The major challenge is in having consistent rules between the two houses.
• It’s about making it safe for the children to talk and be heard
• It’s about providing as much stability as possible.
• It’s about security and consistency in their lives

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com or email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com