The Session: Forgiveness versus Unforgiveness, from Dr. Paul Tripp

(Ephesians 4:31-5:2) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

First, an introduction. Dr. Paul David Tripp was born in Toledo. He is a pastor, international event speaker, and author of more than 30 books and video series. He defines forgiveness in a single, simple sentence: Forgiveness is a vertical commitment followed by a horizontal transaction. What we are going to share is a summary of several articles and videos Dr. Tripp has done on forgiveness. His website is Paul Tripp dot com.

The Beautiful Power of Relational Debt

• Holding on to someone else’s wrongs gives us the upper hand
• Holding a record of a person’s wrongs gives us the upper hand in that relationship

The Dark Unhealthy Benefits of Unforgiveness

• Debt is power. It protects us in an unhealthy way.
• Debt is identity. It helps us feel more righteous and mature than the person we’re angry at.
• Debt is entitlement holding another person. Send against them makes us feel entitled.
• We can weaponize unforgiveness and use it for our advantage

Unforgiveness makes us equal with God

• It is not our job to dispense consequences to those who have hurt us

The Ugly Selfishness of Relational Unforgiveness

It has nothing to do with God and loving others

The Beauty of Forgiveness

The beauty of leading a life of forgiveness shows us how much we have embraced our forgiveness of our sins.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

After pleading with his his master for forgiveness and being granted forgiveness, he goes out and demands repayment from people who owed him. Matthew 18:21-35

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Children of Divorce

Psalm 27:10, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me"

Key Statistics and Findings Relational Wisdom 360

• Religious Impact: Children of divorced parents are more likely to become nonreligious; 35% of children from divorced families are nonreligious compared to their peers.
• Adult Faith: Divorce can cause children to feel isolated from their religious community
• Relationship Challenges: Children from divorced homes often struggle with fear of failure, abandonment, and conflict.
• Social & Academic Effects: Children of divorce are more likely to experience lower academic performance, and increased instances of delinquency and substance use.
• Long-Term Consequences: A 2025 study found that children of divorce had a higher likelihood of teen pregnancy and increased mortality rates compared to children from continuously married parents.

Dr. Judith Wallerstein Study

In a landmark study, psychologist Judith Wallerstein followed a group of children of divorce from the 1970s into the 1990s. She interviewed them at eighteen months, five, ten, fifteen, and twenty-five years after the divorce. The results were:

• Continued experiencing fear of failure,
• Fear of loss
• change
• Fear of conflict

Study Data

The Center for Economic Studies released the findings of a research project, where they surveyed 5 million children of divorce. Data shows that children of divorced parents have an elevated risk of jail time (40% increase), elevated risk of mortality (45% increase), increased risk of teen birth (60% increase) 9-13% less income

Other Important Implications

• Without two parents and one of the parents working, children are often times left alone. Their answer to that is to go on social media and other screens for attention and relationship
• Children of divorce are often unable to participate in after school activities

What do you want your children to learn about marriage and family?

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session – What is Schizophrenia?

1 John 4:1

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Livingwithschizophreniauk.org

• Schizophrenia is an illness affecting the brain and rooted within the biological functions of the brain cells.
• At some time during their life about 1 in 100 people will suffer an episode of schizophrenia.
  Schizophrenia occurs in all countries and societies of the world.
  Schizophrenia affects men and women alike and sufferers come from all walks of life and social backgrounds.
• It is not multiple personality disorder. That is known as dissociative disorder. (let’s do quick definitions here for both)
• Onset: It tends to strike most often in late teens and early twenties, slightly earlier in men than in women, although late onset illness can occur as late as the 70s. Schizophrenia before puberty is very rare.
• The word schizophrenia literally means a “fragmented mind”.
• It is caused by an abnormality in the brain cell of dopamine.
• This hormone is responsible for thought processes and an excess or shortage can cause thinking to become disturbed.
• What the evidence shows us is that people with schizophrenia are at considerably higher risk of death by suicide than the general population and are also more at risk of violent behavior and sexually disinhibited behavior. However provided that adequate psychiatric care is provided and good supervision of those in crisis is carried out these risks can be reduced to levels no higher than the general population.
• The cause of schizophrenia is often times thought to be genetic predisposition and potential complications a childbirth.
• Schizophrenia is a severe condition in which the sufferer may completely lose touch with reality, become socially withdrawn, be unable to work or study and stop looking after themselves. Their behavior may become bizarre or sometimes dangerous.
• Other symptoms include delusions (a false) and hallucinations (perception of something not there)

(National Institute of Health) Religious Delusions: People with schizophrenia often experience hallucinations or false beliefs with religious content, such as believing they are God, a saint, or being punished by demons.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session - The Sandwich Generation & Caring For Aging Parents

1 Timothy 5:4: Encourages children to "repay" parents by caring for them.

Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

What is the sandwich generation?

The "sandwich generation"—typically adults aged 30–50—faces immense, often overwhelming burdens, balancing care for children and aging parents.

The sandwich generation often times struggles with financial strain, emotional exhaustion, and severe time constraints.

Almost one-third of caregivers are in this position.

According to Mental Health America, 95% of the sandwich generation reports significant impacts on their lives, including reduced personal time, career conflicts, and, for many, jeopardized retirement savings.

Key Aspects of the Caregiver Burden

• Financial Strain: Sandwich generation caregivers frequently face high out-of-pocket expenses (averaging approximately $10,000 annually) for care, in addition to supporting their own children, which can severely impact long-term financial stability.
• Time Constraints: These caregivers often spend around 30 hours per week on caregiving tasks, leading to a constant, high-pressure feeling of having insufficient time.
• Emotional & Physical Toll: The dual responsibility often leads to burnout, high stress, anxiety, and guilt. Women often bear a higher intensity of this burden.
• Impact on Work: Many, particularly women, struggle to balance careers with caregiving responsibilities.
• Role Reversal: According to Mental Health America Individuals must navigate the emotional, difficult shift of taking on parental roles for their own parents.
• Christian support for the sandwich generation focuses on finding strength through faith, prayer, and community to balance caring for aging parents and children.
• Key approaches include embracing self-care as stewardship rather than selfishness, setting realistic boundaries, and reframing caregiving as a God-ordained opportunity to serve.
• Scott Question: Can we define what some of those realistic boundaries might be?

(Focus on the Family.)

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Teen Depression - Part 2

1 Peter 5:6-7, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Definition from Bellevue Christian Counseling:

Christian teen depression is a serious, treatable clinical condition, not just a spiritual failure or phase. Biblical support emphasizes that depression is a journey, not a permanent identity, offering hope alongside professional clinical counseling.

Emotional changes

Be alert for emotional changes, such as:

• Feelings of sadness, which can include crying spells for no apparent reason
• Frustration or feelings of anger, even over small matters
• Feeling hopeless or empty
• Irritable or annoyed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Loss of interest in, or conflict with, family and friends
• Low self-esteem
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Fixation on past failures or exaggerated self-blame or self-criticism
• Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure, and the need for excessive reassurance
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Ongoing sense that life and the future are grim and bleak
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide

Behavioral Changes from Mayo Clinic - Watch for changes in behavior, such as:

• Tiredness and loss of energy
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Changes in appetite — decreased appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Agitation
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Frequent complaints of unexplained body aches and headaches, which may include frequent visits to the school nurse
• Social isolation
• Poor school performance or frequent absences from school
• Less attention to personal hygiene or appearance
• Angry outbursts, disruptive or risky behavior, or other acting-out behaviors
• Self-harm — for example, cutting or burning
• Making a suicide plan or a suicide attempt

Teen Depression Treatment, from Pax Renewal Center

Teens who receive counseling that integrates both their emotional needs and their spiritual development show remarkable resilience that goes far beyond what traditional therapy alone can provide.

Christian Treatment Helps Teens Realize What They Are Putting Ahead Of God

• Peer Priority (This sounds familiar….)
• Academic Success
• Romantic Relationships
• Teen Social Media Culture

Examples Of Helpful Scripture For Depression

• “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
• "Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:7-8
• "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!" Psalm 42:11

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Teen Depression

1 Peter 5:6-7, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

Definition from Bellevue Christian Counseling:

Christian teen depression is a serious, treatable clinical condition, not just a spiritual failure or phase. Biblical support emphasizes that depression is a journey, not a permanent identity, offering hope alongside professional clinical counseling.

Emotional changes

Be alert for emotional changes, such as:

• Feelings of sadness, which can include crying spells for no apparent reason
• Frustration or feelings of anger, even over small matters
• Feeling hopeless or empty
• Irritable or annoyed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Loss of interest in, or conflict with, family and friends
• Low self-esteem
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Fixation on past failures or exaggerated self-blame or self-criticism
• Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure, and the need for excessive reassurance
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Ongoing sense that life and the future are grim and bleak
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide

Behavioral Changes from Mayo Clinic - Watch for changes in behavior, such as:

• Tiredness and loss of energy
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Changes in appetite — decreased appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Agitation
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Frequent complaints of unexplained body aches and headaches, which may include frequent visits to the school nurse
• Social isolation
• Poor school performance or frequent absences from school
• Less attention to personal hygiene or appearance
• Angry outbursts, disruptive or risky behavior, or other acting-out behaviors
• Self-harm — for example, cutting or burning
• Making a suicide plan or a suicide attempt

Teen Depression Treatment, from Pax Renewal Center

Teens who receive counseling that integrates both their emotional needs and their spiritual development show remarkable resilience that goes far beyond what traditional therapy alone can provide.

Christian Treatment Helps Teens Realize What They Are Putting Ahead Of God

• Peer Priority (This sounds familiar….)
• Academic Success
• Romantic Relationships
• Teen Social Media Culture

Examples Of Helpful Scripture For Depression

• “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
• "Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you." Psalm 143:7-8
• "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!" Psalm 42:11

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: When Your Spouse is Unfaithful - Part 2

Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

After The Affair - 10 Steps Toward Healing, from Leslie Vernick

1. Does the spouse who committed adultery take ownership and repent for his or her choice without blaming?

2. Is there a willingness on the part of the adulterer to do the work of self-examination to understand better what happened and look at the deep heart issues?

3. Is there genuine sorrow for the pain he/she has caused the spouse?

4. Is the adulterous spouse willing to sit with his/her spouse and really listen to the hurt and heartache over this and show compassion, empathy and care no matter how long it takes?

5. Is the injured spouse willing to forgive even if right now he/she doesn’t know how to do that?

6. Is the injured spouse willing to take a hard look at ways he/she may have contributed to neglect in the marriage or other unresolved problems that created emotional distancing to develop?

7. Is the injured spouse willing to be honest with her feelings of sadness, hurt, anger and do the hard work to work through them and move past them?

8. Is the injured spouse willing to acknowledge the positive changes his/her spouse is making toward rebuilding trust and healing the marriage?

9. Is the couple able to tolerate that the healing process goes in fits and starts; it isn’t a smooth ride?

10. Is the spouse who committed adultery willing to be patient with the process as his/her spouse struggles to let it go, gets retriggered with old memories or current reminders, or can’t immediately feel trust or warm feelings for his/her spouse?

Hope Restored Focus on the Family

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: When Your Spouse is Unfaithful

Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

Forgive with intelligence

Your spouse cheated. Your trust for them has nearly diminished and there's good reason for that. So, you must act accordingly.

The reason why you're looking for ways to forgive your spouse is because your mind isn't allowing you to.

It's playing scenarios in your head of them doing it again and it pains you.

Does investigating your spouse make you a bad person?

If your spouse gave you reasons to be weary of them? No. They broke your trust. All bets are off.

If they lied and betrayed you, why should they get the privilege of being trusted immediately?

They committed the ultimate love crime. And let's face it, some cheaters just get better at hiding it once they've been caught.

Worriedlovers.com

Before proceeding, you should look for evidence of genuine “godly sorrow” (2 Corinthians 7:10) as opposed to the “worldly sorrow” which simply says, “I’m sorry I got caught.” A key indicator of a godly sorrow would include a willingness on the part of your spouse to talk with a marriage counselor who can assess his vulnerabilities, as well as the weaknesses of your relationship.

Confront Honestly

That’s because you need to meet this challenge from a position of strength and self-assurance.

When you’re ready, arrange a time to sit down and talk with your spouse. Choose a private meeting place where you know you won’t be interrupted. Approach the subject honestly and straightforwardly. The crisis in your marriage is emotionally charged but stay calm and cool. To achieve this, most people need to write out what they are going to say.

Often it is necessary to do a more formal intervention, where several people show up to confront the offending spouse at a designated time without his or her foreknowledge. This formal intervention should not be confused with that of individual people confronting your spouse over time.

Prayerfully consider who these people might be and meet with them together ahead of time so that you can explain your situation and provide them with the important facts.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.