The Session: The Session: Helping Children Adjust to the Stress of a New Teacher or School.

Joshua 1:9 (NIV) "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV) "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God."

Take Time to Talk to Them

As you help them prepare for a season of change, take time to talk with them about how messy change can be. This most certainly includes grieving the loss of past relationships. Often called peer priority, children struggle because their peers are a priority and they are losing them.

Be Prepared

Plan ahead some fun things they can invite others to do or talk about in order to make friends. But as they arrive at school, they may find that everyone else already seems to know each other. They might find they feel shy in the moment. Or maybe, they try to be friendly but the kids around them are shy.

Tom’s Important Suggestions:

• Take your child to school and have them tour it if that’s possible. Or tour it as soon as it is possible.
• Find out if there are summer activities or extracurricular, activities like soccer, swimming, a local church, where your child can make friends before they enter the classroom
• Pray with your child and help your children feel comforted about the change

Scott’s thought:

· Celebrate every success in the transition!

Monitor Your Child’s Feeling Level

Major changes like a new school can leave our children, fearful, disappointed, sad, and concerned.

Coping with the new school can also cause them to be wiped out physically.

Normalize for Them This Experience

Point them to Christ. As you do so will require more patience than usual. Being willing to hear them and extend grace will reassure them you’re present, God is present, and they are loved even if they’re struggling to feel it.

Normalizing it also includes telling your children when you may have struggled with a new situation when you were a child

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: 8 Simple Steps to a Lifelong Marriage

Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Housekeeping: How to become a Friend of the Session, book release update

· Build and maintain a solid foundation in Christ

A recent Harvard study shows that attending worship weekly reduces the likelihood of divorce by 57%

· Spend Regular Time in Prayer

Research by David Stoops found couples who pray together have less than 1 percent chance of divorce.

· Speak Highly of Each Other

Make a regular habit of saying positive things about each other. Also avoid negative comments about each other.

· Enjoy Regular Time Together

Spending time together causes a natural byproduct of closeness

· Forge an Unrelenting Commitment to Each Other

From day one, realize that divorce is not an option. A Christian marriage is a covenant between a husband, a wife, and God.

· Keep strong boundaries

Keeping marriage intact often means needing to protect it from outside influences. This means both spouses avoid situations where integrity could be compromised.

· Humbly Serve Each Other

Employ the “others first mentality!”

· Own your struggles and get help

Go before the Lord asking Him for help. Help to be what He has called you to.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: 5 Important Fundamentals of Strong Marriages, from The Gottman Institute

Genesis 2:24, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."

Research shows that the primary keys to staying married are not about avoiding conflict, but about building positive emotional habits, managing conflict constructively, and actively choosing the relationship.

The top five actionable things that significantly increase your probability of staying married include:

• Maintaining the "Magic Ratio": Couples who experience a ratio of at least five positive interactions for every one negative interaction during normal daily life are highly likely to have lasting marriages. This means building an emotional bank account through small compliments, expressions of appreciation, and inside jokes.
• Turning Toward Bids for Connection: In relationships, a partner makes "bids" when they reach out for attention, connection, or a response (e.g., pointing out a bird or sharing an interesting thought). According to The Gottman Institute, couples who stay together respond positively and lean into these bids 86% of the time, compared to 33% for couples who divorce.
• Avoiding the "Four Horsemen": Research shows you can predict divorce with scary accuracy if you allow four toxic communication patterns to take root: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Contempt—such as eye-rolling or mocking—is widely recognized as the single biggest predictor of relationship failure.
• Prioritizing Shared Time and Experiences: Research indicates that couples who engage in regular, dedicated date nights and invest in shared social and religious activities report significantly higher marital quality. Shared couple time reinforces your identity as a team rather than just two individuals co-existing.
• Accepting Influence and Tolerating Imperfection: Lasting relationships are built on compromise and accepting that most marital problems (about 69%) are perpetual issues rooted in personality differences. In heterosexual relationships specifically, research highlights that men who allow their wives to influence them and actively work to compromise have notably happier marriages.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: The Importance of Laughter

Proverbs 17:22: A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Joyce Meyer writes in her article, “The Benefits of Laughter!”, “Laughter is so important! It’s the outward evidence of inward joy, and it is proven to make you feel better. The joy of the Lord can ease any emotional and physical pain and bring you a new level of satisfaction in life.”

It has been said that laughter is like internal jogging, and I think that is so true. Laughter improves emotional and mental health, it lifts our spirits, and it dispels worry. It’s almost impossible to be anxious and laugh at the same time. This is why we would be wise to express joy in laughter every chance we get.

Laughter helps in the battle against anxiety, fear and worry. It also helps in the battle against stress, which is the body’s response to what the mind is thinking.

Therapeutic Benefits of Laughter in Mental Health: A Theoretical Review, from the National Library of Medicine

Laughter is a strategy that has physical, psychological, and social impact in relationships improving health, ultimately improving the quality of life.

Laughter has a positive effect on the mental health and immune system.

Laughter reduces the stress making hormones found in the blood stream. This helps the impact on your health.

Laughter impacts cortisol, epinephrine, and dopamine levels.

Laughter releases endorphins- happy cells.

If laughter isn’t a “normal” part of us, how do we find it? Watch squirrels act squirrely out our office window? (no….no, I haven’t done that….)

How do we change a culture of battle or sadness to a culture of laughter in our home?

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: Children of Divorce, an Overview of Research and Articles

Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come to me.”

Children of divorce, living in two households face complex emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges.

The Emotional Impact

• The impact of two houses has a direct hit or impact on the child’s security and stability
• The impact of two houses also causes a grieving process of the loss of having two biological parents in their house
• Children also feel torn between both houses. They fear showing allegiance to one. Parent may hurt the other parent.
• Children off, so feel hesitant and fearful of sharing their feelings in the two households because of the ramifications that could happen
• Often times children do not want to alienate the parent that appears to be hurt or could be hurt

The impact of divorce and two houses on a child relationship with God

• Children can struggle with issues a prayer, trust, and why did God allow this to happen to their family?

Coparenting Strategies for Healing

It is important for split families to focus on grace, forgiveness, and the child's well-being.

Todd Taylor writes in his article, the Secret to Success in Christian Coparenting

• Christian parenting in a split-home environment requires focusing on grace, forgiveness, and the child's well-being.
• The cornerstone of successful Christian co-parenting is always prioritizing your child’s physical and emotional well-being.

DLM Christian Lifestyle

• Daniel Maritz in DLM Christian Lifestyle states that broken families lead to broken societies

Focus on the Family, One Child Two Homes, elaborates on the problems, children face

• They live a life of constant transition.
• Life has two sets of parents, two groups of siblings and two different beds.
• It means switching between different rules and routines and having two homes yet often feeling as if he were not a part of either.
• Parents are often unaware of the stress a child endures when he’s shuffled between two homes.
• Children crave stability. In its absence, they may become territorial about their belongings and their space. Their “things” become their security.

Ways to help children of divorce living in two separate homes

• The major challenge is in having consistent rules between the two houses.
• It’s about making it safe for the children to talk and be heard
• It’s about providing as much stability as possible.
• It’s about security and consistency in their lives

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: Giving our Children Tough Love

Romans 8:38–39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Emotions, Teens, and Hormones

• Emotions can be very tumultuous for a teen. Emotions for teenagers can be like unto the life interruption that pre menopause, menopause, and a midlife crisis for a man
• If the upheaval were strictly environmentally driven, it would be hard to predict its onset.
• If it’s hormonally driven, it can be very predictable. Reality suggests it is predictable.
• It has the capability of changing a person’s attitude. An attitude is the total of what a person’s thinking and feeling. When you put it together, you have their attitude.
• The emotional changes coincide with the physical maturation of a teen.
• Human chemistry goes crazy for a period of time. The chemistry issues also impact a teens, mind and decision-making process.
• At the age of 13 to 14, boys awaken to a whole New World, and all of a sudden becomes very aware of what he feels. He can be very stressed by social situations and the fear of being ridicule and embarrassed.

Adolescent society is dominated by beauty for girls & physical maturation for boys.

• The girls beauty is scary for boys (TERRIFYING, ACTUALLY...SCOTT)
• Boys physical characteristics that help in sports intimidate physically immature boys (SCOTT ALWAYS WANTED A 6 PACK)
• Physical strength in boys facilitates the bully into hurting the weaker boys
• The junior/senior prom is dominated by the fear of rejection reaction and ridicule
• The fear of going to school due to harassment and humiliation

Our memories of teen life for our children and us…OH, NOW YOU’RE MEDDLIN’!

Have a New Kid by Friday, by Kevin Lehman

• Kevin promotes tough love by letting our teen children know if they are disrespectful to us that we are less cooperative. A great example would be you were disrespectful to me, so I am not taking you to your friend’s house tonight.

Reality Therapy

• Reality therapy was created by William Glasser to help troubled teens.
• Similar to Kevin Lehman, reality therapy lets teens learn on their own. We allow life to teach them and not be the heavy ourselves. A great example is if they need to be ready to catch the team bus to one of their sporting events, but they’re poking around and not motivated to get there on time, we allow them to miss the bus.

ANY FINAL THOUGHTS FROM DR. DOBSON THAT YOU STUDIED OVER THE YEARS?

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: The Importance of Dad in the Home - a Collection of Tom’s View on Dads

Luke 22:41-44: "He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 'Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.' An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground."

From Manhood Journey

• The biblical role of a father extends beyond biology, including stepdads, mentors, and spiritual leaders who invest in others’ lives.
• Scripture calls fathers to lead spiritually, model Christlike love, and be encouragers in both words and actions.

From Focus on the Family

The Significance of a Father’s Influence

Our culture seems to place little value on the role of fathers. I see evidence of this everywhere, from pop culture and media to government policy.

Dads bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring. They provide protection and economic support and male role models. They have a parenting style that is significantly different from that of a mother and that difference is important in healthy child development.

David Popenoe, Life Without Father,

Dads tend to stress rules, justice, fairness, and duty in discipline. In this way, they teach children the objectivity and consequences of right and wrong. They give kids insight into the world of men.

82% of studies on father involvement and child well-being published since 1980 found “significant associations between positive father involvement and offspring well-being…” Paul R. Amato and Fernando Rivera, “Paternal Involvement and Children’s Behavior Problems,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 61 (1999):

In an analysis of over 100 studies on parent-child relationships, it was found that having a loving and nurturing father was as important for a child’s happiness, well-being, and social and academic success as having a loving and nurturing mother.

Kyle D. Pruett, Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child,

Dr. Pruett states, “positive father care is associated with more pro-social and positive moral behavior in boys and girls.” Pruett, 2000, p. 52. This is borne out by research from the University of Pennsylvania which indicates that children who feel a closeness and warmth with their father are twice as likely to enter college, 75 percent less likely to have a child in their teen years, 80 percent less likely to be incarcerated and half as likely to show various signs of depression.

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com

The Session: Defeating Alzheimer’s (from Defeating Dementia, by Dr. Furman)

I Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies."

Start with the name. How did we come to calling it Alzheimer’s?

7.4 million adults suffer from Alzheimer’s

Jan’s story

The Notebook with James Gardner

Those who suffer from Alzheimer’s lose:

• memories
• fellowship with God
• childhood
• loss of marriage
• memories of dating
• valuable relationships

Millennials

• have parents and grandparents that may be showing symptoms of Alzheimer’s

Symptoms

• losing car keys
• getting your cell phone out but forget why
• calling someone and forgetting why
• driving somewhere that you frequently go to and forgetting how to get there

Historically it was believed that Alzheimer’s was inherited.

• 2 Genes showed evidence that made it appear to be inherited. Beta Amyloid and long protein
• Genes are only 5% responsible

3 Healthy Preventions of Alzheimer’s

• Healthy eating vs. bad eating
• Healthy eating was 40% less likely to get Alzheimer’s
• Exercise vs. not those who exercise were 48% less likely to get Alzheimer’s
• Those who ate well and exercised were 67% less likely to get Alzheimer’s than those who did not do both
• Weight those who were overweight doubled their chances of Alzheimer’s. Those who were obese increase their odds 3xs

Health of the arteries is vital for blood flow to the brain

Taking care of the heart is taking care of the brain

Weight health effects our immune health

A devotional podcast for parents on the go! Encouragement, Scripture, & prayer in just 7 minutes. Join the journey!

To reach Tom Russell, please call 419-709-8447, email Tom at tom.hccm@gmail.com, or visit his website at https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com