This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about change and why it can be so difficult. She digs into ways we can stop judging ourselves for overeating, how to put ourselves out there and start living, and ways we can start to feel ready for something. She also explains how to balance prioritizing ourselves without feeling selfish, and what behavioral activation really is and why it’s the best way to combat our depression. Questions for Ask Kati Anything ep. 236 | Your mental health podcast 1. Why do I hate change so much? Change tends to worsen my depression and stress longer than anyone else seems to be affected by it at all. Is that just a personality characteristic, or is it possible that there is a reason? 02:07 2. Hi Kati, how can I stop judging myself for “overreacting” and having trauma responses to things that aren’t “big T”traumas? Other people reasonably might not have a trauma response to those same situations, so that makes me feel like I’m weak and overreacting because it shouldn’t be a big deal. I realize the judgment isn’t helping me, but I don’t know how to stop. It’s keeping me from sharing about those things with my therapist because I’m ashamed and judging myself. What should I do? 14:49 3. I’m often told that I don’t have a life. How do I put myself out there and start living? 24:07 4. Hey Kati, can you please talk about "how to get/feel ready" for something? I read that feeling not ready or simply not being able to do things can be connected to not wanting to feel ready or change. The thing is, I know that I want to have a romantic relationship, but still feel not ready. What can I do here? Thanks for your positive impact that you make 32:32 5. Hi Kati, I have been told multiple times by my therapist that I’m allowed to prioritize myself and stop trying to appease everyone else in my life. However, every time I try my inner voice tells me I’m being selfish and egotistical and shames me for thinking like this. How can I challenge these thoughts and show them they’re wrong? 37:02 6. Hey Kati! Can you talk about behavioral activation? The idea behind behavioral activation is that by deliberately practicing certain behaviors, you can “activate” a positive emotional state. 40:40

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This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about distinguishing between our core personality and trauma response, how to figure out what our identity is without our mental illness, and dealing with SA online. She then explains how we can know if we are being lazy, how to ask questions in therapy, and if there are any reasons a therapist would lie to a patient. Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT ep. 235 Audience questions: 1. How do you help clients distinguish between behaviors or reactions that are a direct result of their trauma versus those that are part of their core personality? 01:39 2. What do you tell clients who have been depressed/anxious for so long that they don't really have an identity that excludes their illness? If your illness is part of who you are, how do you grow away from it? Edit for clarification: I'm specifically referring to childhood mental illness that lasts into adulthood 17:18 3. Hi Kati, I hope you are well, I'm feeling really confused,scared and Frankly just sh!t. I've started college this year and we have just had an online safety class as an introduction. This led to me having a panic attack and with pressure from my tutor continuing to ask what's wrong I ended up telling her something now I wish I hadn't. For context earlier this year just before leaving high school I started chatting to a boy online (stupid I know.) I was under the impression that he was just 2 years older than me... 22:52 4. How to know when you're lazy . After therapy, depression might be gone but one is used to doing nothing and getting back on track. 27:48 5. Why am I worried about asking questions in therapy? I have an incredible relationship with my long term therapist, but I cannot bring myself to ask questions. It's not just about her, but about what she thinks about why I do things, her thoughts on my current diagnosis, her advice on what to do etc. I don't have this issue with any other relationship. I suspect I am worried about rejection or maybe her answer not being what I want to hear. I have BPD, OCD, ED and CPTSD - all of which are very well managed and I am high functioning again. 29:48 6. Could you explain if there are any reasons a therapist would lie to a client? Are there any situations that would be acceptable/unacceptable? I recently found out that mine has and its shattered my trust on an emotional level but on a logical level I can understand why they may have lied (would like to think they had my best interest at the forefront and not intentionally want to upset me) - for context we planned a break from therapy for a period of time and the lie meant we ended earlier than expected, very abruptly when I was going through THE worst few months of my life. I now feel so let down and unsupported, and find myself questioning other things. I would love to know your thoughts! 34:16 #podcast #therapist #katimorton #healthy #therapy #therapy My Books (in stores now) Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy I do not currently offer online therapy. My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Affiliates (commissions earned help us create new episodes) Amazon https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Partnerships Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com Please Read If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton offers some ways that we can stop comparing ourselves to others, what our dreams are telling us, and how to overcome perfectionism. She then discusses brainwashing and overcoming emotional abuse, why we can get emotional when we think of talking to our therapist, and the reasons we can be attracted to older people.Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 234 | Audience questions: 1. How can I stop comparing myself to others? Whenever I socialize with others, I'm reminded of how weak I am for not being able to endure the difficulties of life while others are constantly faced with problems from all aspects of their lives. For context, I'm unemployed but fortunately I still live with my parents and they are still able to provide for me. I know I should be grateful that everything around me seems to be good but I just can't. I feel like I don't deserve this and I should be miserable for being "lazy". I know I'm being hard on myself but that is what's going on in my mind. Any insight would be very helpful. 2. Hi Kati, I have multiple dreams over the night these days. Some are very vivid, which makes me wonder if there are important meanings to those dreams. When would it be appropriate to consider a dream as it is telling you something/giving meaning to your subconscious mind and belief?? 3. I would love a video about overcoming perfectionism. My therapist said it’s pretty common with those of us who have CPTSD. 4. Hi Kati, growing up, I was told by my adoptive parents that I was always so susceptible to brainwashing whenever I had an opinion that didn't align with theirs (meaning others had brainwashed me to think differently from them). I'm now in therapy to try and work through the CPTSD I have due to my abusive upbringing (severe emotional neglect as well as physical and psychological abuse). The problem now is that I can not bring myself to trust what my therapist is telling me because all I hear at the back of my mind is how susceptible I am to brainwashing. It doesn't matter how my therapist words things, it still feels like he is trying to brainwash me. I realize my brain needs rewiring, but how can we go about it when every fiber of my being is resisting it due to what I was told growing up? 5. Why do I get so emotional when I think of talking to my therapist…before I’ve even spoken to her? Just thinking about talking freaks me out. Also, why is it when someone then validates that I’m stressed about talking, do I suddenly feel fine and like I’m being dramatic? Every time I try to talk this happens and I’m not sure what to do because I don’t want to mention it to my counselor because it feels silly. Thanks again6. Hi Kati! This is a really weird one and tbh I feel really embarrassed about it. What is the psychology behind being attracted to older people? I am a girl and am attracted to much older women (even though I don't think I am gay). I mean like in their 30s and I'm under 20. I could see how this sounds attachment related but I have had the best childhood and my relationship with my mom is great. I don't like any girls my own age in that way, only boys. Is this just a kink or something else?

ARTICLE CITED Disturbed Dreaming in Medical Conditions

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about having a dismissive avoidant attachment style and how that can affect our relationship with our therapist. She also discusses how we can tell if we are doing something because of our depression or not, and if being on antidepressants long term can change our brain function. She then talks about alternative treatments for PTSD like magic mushrooms, ketamine, and others. Finally, she explains whether or not our body can recognize our stress before we do, and she digs into how post traumatic growth works. Ask Kati Anything, episode 233 audience questions: 1. Hi Kati! I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, likely due to childhood emotional neglect, which makes me highly independent and even counter-dependent. I am wondering, what can I do to foster a healthy attachment to my therapist? I have been seeing my therapist for years and she’s great, but I still get nervous to share things with her. I don’t want to get “too” attached, but I think I need my therapist’s help with processing trauma. What should I do? 01:55 2. My psychiatrist tells me I have a strong internal focus of control and that I tend to attribute everything to my own doing. My question is, I'm trying to let myself off the hook sometimes but I have trouble differentiating when I'm NOT doing something because of my depression and when I'm not doing something because I'm just lazy and letting myself off the hook as an excuse. I feel like I may just go to the complete opposite and... 28:35 3. I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 19. I am now 47 and my entire life is completely different as it once was growing up, obviously…Is it possible that staying on antidepressants too long may change your entire brain function? Will I have to depend on them for the rest of my life? I am afraid that I’ve been on them so long that I may not know who I really am and this bothers me! 32:47 4. I recently had a breakthrough with magic mushrooms. It completely stripped away any thoughts I had about myself and I was able to forgive and have self compassion towards myself. It’s been helping me work through my traumas in therapy. I have major depression, CPTSD, and anxiety. Can you please talk about the benefits of ketamine and mushrooms and can you talk about your thoughts on the integration of therapy and psychedelics? 39:57 5. I was wondering if your body could know that you are stressed or anxious before you realized it yourself? These questions come from the last few weeks because I have been having a lot of physical symptoms of stress and anxiety but I don’t usually feel more stressed than usual. I have been picking at my skin, especially on my face which sucks, I have had acid reflux which I should have because I take medication for, my stomach has been upset, I’ve been clenching my jaw, and... 49:30 6. Hi Kati I was wondering if you could talk about post traumatic growth?!? How do I recover from PTSD after years of trauma abuse and neglect?!? 57:07 PUBLISHED BOOKSTraumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

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This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses trauma, PTSD and our dreams. She also explains how we can best support our children when we know they are struggling, how to know how much something we experienced affects us today, and why we can overshare with our therapist right away. She then offers some basic anger management tips, and how having a TBI can affect our mental health.

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, episode 232 audience questions:

1. I would be grateful if you would discuss trauma/ptsd dreams... particularly how to decrease them and how to recover after having them. 02:32

2. Hi Kati! I have a teenage daughter who is the light of my life and a great kid - she's incredibly empathetic, kind, creative, and doesn't get up to any real trouble (other than a little attitude with me here and there), but I worry about her mental health. Her dad and I had a difficult separation some years ago, and he drops in and out of her life - also she has struggled with anxiety since childhood, and is very hard on herself. When she was smaller I had her in play, art, and animal therapy to help manage her anxiety, but she'd always be positive for the first month or so then grow to hate going. Now she is... 09:25

3. How do we know if something that we experienced actually affected us and if so, the severity of which it impacted us to make us who we are today? My therapist will be going on maternity leave again for the second time within the last few years and it is expected that she will be away for an extended period of time (potentially up to two years). I'm going through an interesting period... 14:19

4. I was just wondering if this is something that is common or whether I'm weird. When I first met my therapist I had complete verbal diarrhea about a few things that happened as a teen. I apologized and she said it was ok and was very reassuring that I didn’t need to apologize. This was a few months back and we have talked about them in more detail since, I haven’t brought it up with her yet but I think I may have had a light bulb moment as to... 25:24

5. Can you talk about some basic anger management/frustration tolerance tips? I feel like I lose my temper wayyyy too easily, and it's NOT the type of person I want to be. I know you've talked about anger not being a "bad" thing, and that it can teach us something, etc. But I'm talking about the times when I am losing my cool for trivial things, or when I know I'm overreacting (cursing because I caught a red light, being snippy and defensive with people when they don't deserve it). I am getting better at calming myself down after being triggered, which is... 30:55

6. How does a brain injury impact someone who also has CPTSD? I was in 4th grade when I had an accident and received some brain damage on the front of my brain. I also grew up with emotional neglect/abuse, physical abuse, witnessing domestic abuse, bullying, and sexual abuse…I know that is a lot and I know CPTSD takes some rewiring of your brain to overcome. I just wonder if I struggle more than most because I also have that TBI to work with? Are there any tools/tricks to make it easier? I am in talk therapy and EMDR. 38:43

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8849136/

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Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

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This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about emotional pain in therapy sessions, how we can stop our hypersexuality, and how far back our body remembers traumatic experiences. She also explains other mental illnesses that could be helped through DBT, and what we can do to stop our doctors from blaming our physical ailments on our mental health. Finally, she discusses memory and trauma processing, and why we can sometimes struggle to recall simple things.

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, episode 231 audience questions:

1. How would you react if a client tried to leave session due to being in emotional pain. And you suspected they would try to harm themselves or even commit suicide? Would you stop them, or is that not your responsibility? Would you ever get in the way of the door and not let them leave? How would you react differently if It was a friend and outside the therapy space? 00:58

2. How can I put an end to my hyper sexuality? I’ve been struggling with it since like, forever. I was SA’d as a kid (COCSA) at the age of 5-6 and I’ve been hypersexual since, I’ve been physically abused by a parent because I was caught touching myself in public, now I more so use it as a coping mechanism, it’s what I’d turn to when I was even ever so slightly irritated... 05:14

3. Do you know how far in the past can the body "remember" potentially traumatic experiences? I was born a preemie at 32w (not too bad for a triplet, but still required weeks of care in NICU). From what I learned and saw in photos, I was the tiniest of the 3 and spent the longest time in hospital. I've been tube fed and covered with IV's. I also went into respiratory arrest at a few months old. Besides that, I haven't grown a sick child at all. We were lucky. I have been struggling with MH since my early teenage years (I am 22 ) Having an ED (among other co-related issues), gaining weight is really hard to cope with. In my case, it is not so much that I... 14:28

4. Hi Kati, is DBT a good fit for illnesses other than BPD? I have anxiety and bipolar II depression and, in the past, have had CBT/ACT therapy. They were pretty successful for anxiety but never touched the depression. Over time, I have developed chronic suicidal thoughts. When I'm well, they scare me. When I'm depressed they are almost like a warm blanket. I can’t stop thinking about it. It's always in the back of my mind. I know I have a way out. Could DBT help with this? 22:01

5. How did you get doctors to stop dismissing physical health issues and blaming it on mental health? I understand they can go hand in hand, but it's not always the case. It feels discriminatory. What's the best way to address this with a doctor? 30:45

6. What is going on with my memory???? I’ve been doing trauma work with my therapist for awhile now and all of the sudden I cannot remember what I have shared with her and what I haven’t. Why is it so hard for me to share new memories of the trauma with my therapist?? I fully trust her and know she is safe. Why do I go into a shame spiral and then push her away after I share something new? Will this go away with time? 35:27

PUBLISHED BOOKSTraumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

PARTNERSHIPSLinnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about why it can be hard to tell our therapist about a sexual assault, and why the R-word can be so difficult to talk about. She then discusses why it seems to be harder to maintain our mental health post-COVID, how to work through perpetual grief, and how to overcome intense bullying. Finally, she explains how EMDR works, and why we can hold onto our suicidal thoughts and plans. Audience questions from Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 230:1. I was wondering why I can’t seem to talk to my therapist about being raped?? Backstory: I was raped twice by a family friend and both times were more than 10+ years ago so I should just be over it by now. I’ve been seeing a therapist for over a year now. I really do like her and I feel comfortable and really connected to her. I can count on one hand the few people who know about both assaults, but I’ve never been able to share with anyone intimate details of it besides the few details that my therapist knows about. However, every time the conversation...2. Is it just me, or is it so much harder to maintain good mental health as compared to pre-COVID times. So much changed during that time and so many of us lost important social connections. I hope this doesn’t sound lame, but… what is your advice for starting over?3. How do we work through perpetual grief? I feel a lot of grief over things that I didn't get to do or experience due to mental health issues over the years. Recognizing that I can't turn back time, and some of the things I missed I will never be able to do or that it will not be the same experience had it happened at the appropriate time. This caused me to have even more grief as I'm going through life knowing I'm not...4. I don’t have any hopes in life because I keep getting bullied and bullied and bullied ever since I was 10 and now I’m 13 I’m in seventh grade now and I’m scared to actually go to school because I keep getting bullied. I don’t tell my parents...5. Can you possibly explain the science behind EMDR in human terms? ;). It is completely fascinating to me how it works, because it does! My mind has started one place and ended up where I never would have expected to. I have had flashes of odd images come into my mind as well that I haven’t mentioned because they are just weird or embarrassing. 6. Even when I was doing a little bit better and wasn’t having too many suicidal thoughts, I’ve always had a plan in place in my head. This seems really messed up to me and now this method isn’t possible to me it feels stressful; like I need an answer again. I don’t understand why it feels necessary to have a definite answer to this again. Or why it was a constant presence in the first place. I’ve had rather complicated mental health issues for years and had lots of treatments and felt pretty hopeless for a long time. I’m guessing this has something to do with it but it just doesn’t sit right with me that it always feels needed in the background.

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL

YouTube: https://youtube.com/katimorton X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses whether or not we can get a past therapist to see us again, if we can move on without having a sense of self, and how often we have to be purging to be diagnosed with an eating disorder. She also gives us some ways we can work up the courage to share something difficult with our therapist, and what to do if we have been the abusive one in our relationship. Finally, she explains the symptoms we can have due to having a mom who is a narcissist. Ask Kati Anything | episode 229 1. Wondering if my therapist will take me back. I'm 21 and have suffered all my life with obsessions with authority figures, usually teachers or bosses. It's gotten very intense in the past and usually I think about them 24/7, though I'm not a stalker or creepy or dangerous. My suspicion is that my complicated relationship with my mom, whom I adore but who has unfortunately admitted to not really ever bonding with me, might be the problem...2. How can I move on without having a sense of self? I had depression for years and I’m working on perfectionism and over-controlling, which are caused by CPTSD, in therapy. I’m now accepting myself more and I want to make good choices for my future, but I can’t make decisions because I have been out of touch with myself for so long. I have a sense of what I like and don’t like in daily life but I don’t know what choices would align with the essence of who I am.3. I had a question about certain ED behavior. I’m wondering how often you have to purge for it to be considered an Eating Disorder. I’m sure you’ve answered this before but I thought I would ask specifically about purging.4. How do I work up the courage to talk to my therapist about something I’ve never talked about before, ever? The thing itself is more of a little t trauma, but it has a weird hold over me and makes me so anxious and has made me avoid things for a decade. I think because I’ve never talked about it and I’ve been avoiding it, it’s made it worse, so I wonder if finally talking about it will help. My therapist is great and I’ve been meeting with her for 5 years, but I get nervous about being vulnerable, especially since I think I’m having a disproportionate reaction. What should I do?5. What do we do if we've been abusive? I feel that I was abusive in a relationship, though my ex and every mental health professional I've met have said that I wasn't. The professionals have said it's just OCD. In any event, people have been trying to convince me I wasn't abusive for eleven years, ever since that relationship...6. I want to know my mom is a narcissist but when I was growing up my mom would wake up at night yells and run away I remember my dad always go after her and brings her back I don't know why she did it but it scared the hell out of me I didn't understand it because I was only a kid. Can it be why I am a light sleeper? And making my anxiety worse? I know it is not the only case I have been through a lot. I never did sleep deep because I was too scared. I felt I always had to protect myself in some way. Can it be why my anxiety is so highly present? I love your podcasts!PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join this channel & access more perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com