A child shouldn’t have to fall asleep in a cubicle while adults debate where she’ll go next. That image stuck, and it’s the spark behind this conversation with Jennifer Tice, co-founder and executive director of Lilypad, a South Carolina faith-based nonprofit creating trauma-informed spaces for children and vulnerable people in crisis. We get honest about what foster care and adoption actually feel like when the crisis doesn’t end after the paperwork, the home study, or the first placement.

Jennifer and I dig into caregiver burnout, compassion fatigue, and the uncomfortable truth that foster parents carry most of the week with little built-in support. We also talk about caseworkers as first responders inside a system that starts in brokenness, and why turnover hurts children who are already overwhelmed. Along the way we name the moments nobody wants to admit out loud: bonding that takes time, grief that hits at reunification, and even the relief that can show up when a hard placement ends. Two things can be true, and saying so can keep families from drowning in guilt.

Then Jennifer tells the story that led to Lilypad: how one teen’s experience in a DSS office revealed an avoidable layer of trauma, and how a “soft place to land” can change a child’s nervous system in real time. We walk through what goes into a Lilypad room, how community partners maintain the spaces, and why this model is now expanding into law enforcement victim care. If you care about foster care sustainability, adoption support, trauma-informed care, and practical child welfare solutions, this one is for you.

Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with someone who serves kids in crisis, and leave a review so more foster and adoptive families can find the support they need.

You can find out more about Lily Pad here:

• Lily Pad website
• Lily Pad room gallery (before-and-after transformations)
• Donation/support page
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lily.pad.inc/

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information.

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Some families look fine on Sunday and feel like they’re falling apart by Monday morning. That gap, the public calm and the private chaos, is where a lot of foster and adoptive parents live when trauma hits hard. We sit down with Ashley Mason, founder of Encourage One Another, to talk honestly about what “crisis” can really mean: unsafe behaviors, constant hypervigilance, the painful decision to pursue out-of-home treatment, and the shame that keeps so many parents quiet.

Ashley shares how her own adoption story led from two moms meeting in a coffee shop to building a nonprofit that supports foster care and adoption on the back end, when the needs are intense and the bills are real. We dig into why “you asked for this” is not help, why free services often miss the root of trauma, and how families can pursue safety and healing without framing treatment as rejection. We also talk about the pressure to get an A in parenting, the misconception that perfect trauma-informed parenting guarantees connection, and the surprising freedom that comes from releasing control of the outcome.

We end with practical, lived-in rhythms that make long-haul parenting sustainable: grounding yourself in the present, protecting your marriage, putting nonnegotiables on the calendar, and building small pockets of rest that keep you regulated when life is loud. If you’re parenting kids from hard places, share this with someone who needs permission to tell the truth, then subscribe and leave a review so more families can find these conversations.

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Trauma leaves clues, and foster and adoptive parents are often the first people to see them clearly. When a child “forgets” what they knew yesterday, melts down at puberty, hoards food under the bed, or shuts down into a blank stare, it can feel personal, defiant, and impossible to untangle. We wanted a map that respects what caregivers live with and explains what’s happening inside the child, not just what’s happening in the room.

Rebecca Harvin sits down with Dr. Frank Putnam, a leading clinical psychiatrist and trauma researcher, to translate decades of longitudinal research on childhood sexual abuse and maltreatment into real-world foster care and adoption support. We talk about accelerated puberty, accelerated biological aging, and how chronic stress compounds across development. We also dig into dissociation and “perplexing forgetfulness,” where a child’s memory and executive function can be state-dependent, making school performance and daily routines swing wildly from day to day.

From there, we get practical. Dr. Putnam explains why kids test safety and how validation can matter more than forcing details. We cover trauma-informed parenting tools drawn from evidence-based approaches like PCIT and the simplified CARE model, with a clear theme: predictable, safe relationships are the strongest lever we have, especially when systems are messy and information is incomplete.

We end with resilience, prevention, and emerging science like epigenetics, plus a crucial reminder: most abused children do not become abusive adults, even though the risk is higher and the stakes are real. If you care about foster parent sustainability, child trauma healing, and adoption-informed mental health, this conversation will give you language, context, and steadier next steps.

If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a foster or adoptive parent, and leave a review so more caregivers can find support when it’s hardest.

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The foster care system asks teenagers to carry adult-sized problems, then expects them to be “ready” on a birthday. That disconnect is where today’s conversation lives, and it’s why I’m so grateful to share the mic with Aubrie Simpson-Gotham, founder and CEO of Fostering Connections in Jacksonville, Florida. She’s building practical support for youth impacted by foster care and adoption, and she’s doing it in a way that treats teens with dignity, honesty, and real-world respect.

We talk about Florida Youth Shine and what happens when youth with lived experience lead the agenda. The issues they raise are not abstract: access to mental health services, the reality of group home placements for teens, and the deep wound of sibling separation in foster care. We also name what so many caregivers and caseworkers feel but rarely get space to say out loud: overwhelm is everywhere, and the gaps are bigger than any one family can patch alone.

Aubrie walks me through how Fostering Connections fills those gaps with career readiness, life skills training, youth leadership, and family empowerment nights. We get specific about financial literacy and budgeting, why teens want these skills earlier than the system often provides, and how peer groups can reduce isolation for youth who feel like no one at school understands. If you care about foster care, adoption support, independent living preparation, or youth advocacy in child welfare, this one will give you both hope and a plan.

Subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation, share this with someone who supports foster and adoptive families, and leave a review to help more people find Behind the Curtain.

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TPR is supposed to bring clarity, but for a lot of foster and adoptive families it brings a new kind of fog. We’re talking about the space nobody captions on social media: mourning and celebrating at the same time, sitting in a courtroom while a parent loses rights, and walking out knowing a child’s story just changed forever.

Stacy Lasonde joins me for an honest, tender conversation about what it feels like to live between the termination of parental rights and adoption finalization. We unpack the shock of the TPR day itself, the impossible “last visit,” and the strange reality of parenting kids who are legally wards of the state. We also get practical about the decisions that suddenly feel loaded, like whether you hang family photos, buy the bigger car, or make plans when an appeal could still change everything.

Then we go deeper into the internal shift many foster parents don’t expect: foster care can carry an unspoken eject button, and adoption removes it. We talk about responsibility, control, regret, and shame, and why “write a different ending” can be a lifeline when your brain keeps running worst-case scenarios. If you’re navigating foster care adoption, trauma-informed parenting, attachment, or the long wait after TPR, you’ll feel seen here.

If this conversation helped you name your own middle ground, subscribe, share it with a foster parent who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find these stories. What part of the wait is hardest for you right now?

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

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Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

What if the life you built at the “resort”—easy routines, familiar friends, and tidy plans—suddenly moved you to a private island? That’s how Cayela Moody describes the shift foster care and special needs adoption brought to her family of ten. Together we trace her path from an autism diagnosis that shattered assumptions to a calling that turned hard-won advocacy into a lifeline for kids others often overlook.

Cayela opens up about losing herself in constant service, then choosing to re-center around home when two newly adopted children needed every inch of her attention. She and her husband forged a strategy they call “parenting small,” where each child still gets the presence, activities, and advocacy they’d receive in a smaller family. We talk about late-night teen talks, the quiet math of limited energy, and why visible needs can make your community step back—leaving families to cultivate their own thriving island.

We also get uncomfortably honest about the system. With nearly half of new foster parents quitting within a year, we argue for a braver PRIDE class: one that names the real social costs, the impact on marriage, and the identity shifts before families hit the wall. Yet joy keeps showing up. Cayela shares how watching her husband scoop up a small son with Down Syndrome made her fall in love again, how her teens grew staggeringly compassionate, and how faith turned valleys into classrooms where redemption is only a matter of time.

This conversation blends practical insight with lived grit: choosing kids with developmental diagnoses over unpredictable behaviors, building routines that actually work, and laughing at the small hacks—like reusing Starbucks cups—that keep mornings moving. If you’ve ever wondered how to love well when the world gets smaller, or how to hold both grief and delight without breaking, this story will meet you there.

If this episode resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review so others can find it too. Your support helps more families on their own islands feel seen.

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

Grief doesn’t wait for tidy timelines or perfect words. With our friend and adoptive mom Jordan Whitmarsh, we step straight into the deep end: living losses in foster care and adoption, the sudden shock of death, and the quieter goodbyes that linger with no clean ending. We get honest about the myth of “five stages,” why sorrow circles back, and what it takes to build a life that can hold both ache and joy without going numb.

Jordan shares the two paths she’s walked—numbing that “works” until it breaks you, and naming that hurts but heals. We talk EMDR and grief therapy, how hospice taught her to welcome help, and why the body keeps the score with brain fog, sensory overload, and zero margin for scratchy clothes or wrong coffee orders. Along the way, we trade real practices that stabilize the nervous system: simple meals on the porch, soft fabrics on hard days, a friend who folds laundry, worship that tells the truth, and nature that lets your breath deepen again.

Faith threads through this whole conversation, not as a shortcut around pain but as an anchor within it. We push back on spiritual bypassing and make space for lament, anger, and tears—because a God who weeps can meet us in hospital halls, long drives, and the after-hours where casseroles stop coming. For foster and adoptive families, we name grief at milestones and holidays and offer language for the both-and: celebrating firsts while honoring who’s missing.

If you or someone you love is carrying loss, you’ll find tools, companionship, and a kind voice that refuses clichés. Listen, share it with a friend who needs steady company, and if it helps you breathe a little easier, subscribe and leave a review so others can find their way here too.

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/

We reflect on the move from drowning in caregiver burnout to building a sustainable life in foster care and adoption. We share three pillars—community, recognizing the load you're carrying, and setting the right pace for your family (prioritize rest!) —and a bonus practice for managing our emotional field.

• naming unsustainable patterns at home and work
• defining sustainability independent of perfect conditions
• using awareness and meditation as a starting tool
• my three anchors: intentional fun, beauty, and white space
• finding an honest community to end isolation
• laying down burdens that are not ours to carry
• pacing like an ultra marathon, not a sprint
• practical rest: micro-rests, structural rests, and sleep guardrails
• managing our emotional field with personal reset routines
• reviewing pillars and committing to small, repeatable steps

We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1. Enjoy!

Follow us on Instagram:

Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en

Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/