My body is falling apart.
People are flocking to see Sydney’s Corpse Flower - it smells horrific!
An asteroid got deleted because it was actually Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster.
Scientists conduct a study that says phones and other similar devices are bad for kids under 18. Neil deGrasse Tyson chimed in on the subject.
A man who was mistaken for a bus masterbator, received $6k from the police.
Eagles sell dirty snow from playoff game vs. Rams to fans for $50, and it sells out in 3 hours.
AFC & NFC Championship predictions. Chiefs - Bills - Eagles - Commanders... Who advances to the Super Bowl?
Cowboy DeHuff gives relationship advice.

Velveeta cheese on-the-go packets are a thing now.

Terrible writing of a headline: Fishermen beat shark off with broom while reeling in near-300kg tuna.

Cat left on the plane ends up taking three flights before reaching its destination.

iPhones with TikTok still installed are listed for up to $1M on eBay.

Woman had to sit in vomit on Qantas airline from Singapore to Sydney.

A California couple is suing JetBlue for $1 million, alleging a block of ice the size of a watermelon fell from a plane and crashed into their bedroom.

Philadelphia mayor, Cherelle Parker, forgot how to spell Eagles!

Plastic surgeon Chen Weinong in Taiwan gave himself a vasectomy on camera.

The Hamburglar was spotted at Donald Trump’s inauguration.

We should bring back public shaming for when people are jerks/disgusting.

Another scientific study that I could have told you was fact: ‘Peeing is contagious for chimpanzees’.

Police and city officials in Houston said evidence in storage lockers is being destroyed by "coke-addicted rats."

'Mysterious balls' that washed up on Australian beaches contained faecal bacteria.

The 76ers play the Nuggets today. Joel Embiid is out… per usual.

#podcast #news #comedy #standup

TikTok died and came back.

Donald Trump is the new president of the United States. His inauguration party could have been better.

Progresso Soup Drops: Company offers chicken noodle hard candy, ‘Soup You Can Suck On’.

Colorado Mom discovered her kids ate their grandpa’s ashes.

Hungarian man almost missed his train, but grabbed a hold. He was left holding on for his life, traveling at 175mph.

Mark Schlereth talks about the greatness that is Jayden Daniels.

The Kansas City Chiefs need to lose, because they are fake-good.

And what happens when artificial intelligence takes EVERYONE’S jobs?

My wife said I should try a hairpiece, and I feel attacked.

I’m on RedNote - and I don’t want to post anything and ruin the good thing they’ve got going on.

Funny workplace accidents include a woman in Indonesia who got her nose ring stuck in her office chair.

An 84-year-old British man armed only with a pair of trousers, beat back a mugger half his age who tried to rob him at a laundry in northern England.

Most desirable jobs in the U.S. aren’t what you think.

Divisional round predictions! Who moves on to the Championship round - Chiefs, Texans, Ravens, Bills, Lions, Commanders, Rams, or Eagles?

NFL and Dallas Cowboys insider, Ed Werder was on the Dan Patrick show this morning. Ed gave some insight on what’s happening behind the scenes as Deion Sanders name keeps being dropped as a head coaching candidate for the Cowboys.

Baseball legend, Bob Uker just passed away. So how do media outlets get video packages out so quickly? The answer is kind of morbid.

#podcast #news #comedy #standup

I was accidentally judgy today at Walmart.

Do you really think Deion will leave for the NFL and Dallas?

A Cincinnati homeowner accidentally sets house on fire while trying to melt ice with a blowtorch.

An Italian soccer club fired their falconer for posting photos of his penis implant.

A good chunk of Gen Zers are helpless around the house, and it’s costing them money.

Jerk-hole Eagles fan who verbally attacked a Packers fan, was fired from his job due to the incident.

Nikola Jokić just beat a Larry Bird record.

Woman in France was scammed by A.I. Brad Pitt.

Pizza restaurant in England that charges a butt-load for Hawaiian pizza.

Denver Broncos QB, Bo Nix had a transverse process fracture in his back in week 12, but played through the pain.

The Philadelphia Eagles defended a Green Bay Packers fan from a horrible Eagles fan.

Wienermobile or Nutwagon - Which would you rather drive?

A shoplifter in Florida defecated on the floor during heist.

Bonnie Blue banged 1,057 men in 12 hours.

China is rolling around the idea of selling TikTok (U.S.) to Elon Musk. - TIKTOK SAYS THIS IS FALSE.

Bigger and more venomous species of funnel-web spider discovered in Australia.

Jerry Jones and Deion Sanders are in talks… Coach Prime could be the next HC of the Dallas Cowboys.

Cop in Florida rear-ended a car that was stopped for a school bus. Why? Because the police officer was watching adult movies on his phone while driving.

Don’t enter a MRI machine with something jammed up your back-end.

A woman had six ribs removed and is using them to make a crown.

TikTik could shut down in the United States coming up on January 19th. Kevin O’Leary of Shark Tank is looking to save the platform.

The Denver Broncos got beat down by the Buffalo Bills. What will the Broncos use the NFL draft to fix this offseason? - It’s not going to be QB, for once!

Also, Vance Joseph could be leaving the Broncos, and that would be terrible!

Fans that interfered with Mookie Betts during Game 4 of the 2024 World Series, have been banned from attending MLB games and visiting all MLB facilities indefinitely.

Realbotix is an American company that has a variety of AI robots that it claims can fulfill a wide assortment of roles - a companion for an elderly person or even as a romantic partner… kind of.