Have you ever sent someone a meme, a song, a TikTok, or a photo of a sunrise with no explanation just because it made you think of them?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., explores pebbling: small bids for emotional connection that are especially common among neurodivergent adults.

The term comes from penguin behavior: some penguin species offer small pebbles to potential mates as gestures of care. In humans, pebbling looks like sending a meme, an article, a random thought, or a video that says, “You’re on my mind,” without demanding a full conversation.

We explore:

• Why pebbling resonates so strongly with ADHD brains (associative thinking, dopamine, and object permanence challenges)
• How pebbling helps maintain relational presence when you don’t see people regularly
• The difference between healthy micro-connection and hidden demands for reassurance
• What happens when your pebbling style doesn’t match someone else’s
• How anxious attachment, rejection sensitivity, or demand avoidance can complicate small bids for connection

If you’ve ever wondered why sending a meme feels easier than saying “I miss you,” this episode will help you understand the nervous system strategy behind it and how to use it in a healthy way.

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About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.

Ever been in a relationship that feels intense because one of you pulls away and the other feels compelled to move closer? Same, boo, same. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. breaks down the anxious–avoidant cycle through a neurodivergent lens, explaining why this dynamic can feel especially destabilizing for autistic, ADHD, and late-diagnosed adults.

You’ll learn why avoidant withdrawal isn’t a lack of care, why anxious pursuit isn’t “too much,” and how sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, masking fatigue, and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) can supercharge this cycle. Instead of blaming communication styles, this episode reframes the anxious–avoidant pattern as a nervous-system mismatch and offers compassionate, practical ways to slow the spiral without forcing closeness or silence.

If you’ve ever felt panicked by distance, overwhelmed by pursuit, or stuck in a push-pull dynamic you can’t seem to escape, this episode will help you understand what’s happening beneath the behavior and why neither side is broken or unlovable.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

What if pulling away after connection isn’t so much about emotional unavailability but nervous system protection?

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. unpacks avoidant attachment styles through a neurodivergent lens, exploring why closeness can trigger overwhelm instead of comfort for people with ADHD and autism, especially those who were late diagnosed.

You’ll learn how avoidant attachment develops as a survival strategy rooted in independence, how masking and delayed emotional processing intensify the need for space, and why neurodivergent adults often experience a “being seen overload” after moments of vulnerability. We also explore how avoidant and anxious attachment styles can unintentionally lock people into a push-pull cycle that leaves both partners dysregulated and misunderstood.

This conversation reframes avoidance not as coldness or detachment, but as a learned nervous-system response and offers practical language for naming the need for space without creating rupture. If you’ve ever been labeled “too distant,” “too rigid,” or felt the urge to disappear after emotional closeness, or love someone who feels this way, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

When you have an anxious attachment style, friendships can feel uniquely destabilizing, especially if you’re neurodivergent. A delayed text, a shift in tone, or a little extra space can send your nervous system into overdrive, even when nothing is actually wrong.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores how anxious attachment shows up in neurodivergent friendships, not just romantic relationships. She breaks down why friendships often feel more ambiguous and triggering, how ADHD hyperfocus can turn one person into a primary regulation anchor, and why that dynamic creates so much pressure for you and for the relationship.

You’ll learn why anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy,” but about seeking safety and connection with a nervous system shaped by inconsistency. Regina introduces the Power of the Pause, a practical, compassionate framework for interrupting panic-driven reactions before they turn into spiraling texts, shame, or self-blame.

If you’re late-diagnosed ADHD or autistic, struggle with anxious attachment in friendships, or constantly worry that people are pulling away, this conversation will help you choose regulation over reassurance and create space for connection to grow.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Having an anxious attachment isn’t about being “needy” or insecure. It’s about what happens when a nervous system learns that connection isn’t always predictable or safe.

For many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, that lesson was reinforced for decades without ever being named. In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., unpacks anxious attachment as it shows up in late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults.

She explores why anxious attachment isn’t a personality flaw, but a nervous system pattern shaped by inconsistency, masking, and years of subtle rejection. You’ll hear how ADHD pattern recognition, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), perfectionism, and people-pleasing all feed the cycle and why masking makes anxious attachment feel so much more intense.

Most importantly, this episode offers practical, neurodivergent-affirming tools to interrupt the spiral: pausing before panic-texting, grounding through the senses, naming what your nervous system is doing, and learning to ask for space without apologizing for having needs.

If you’ve ever thought, “Are they mad at me… or am I spiraling again?” this conversation will help you make sense of why your brain goes there, and how to meet yourself with more safety, clarity, and self-trust.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

There’s a lot of pressure to “push through,” be resilient, and just do the hard things especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. But what happens when pushing past your limits quietly starts to damage your nervous system, your relationships, and your mental health?

In this episode of the Divergent Paths Podcast, Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD, unpacks what overcapacity really looks like and why grit is often the wrong answer. Using a very real story about bringing home a puppy, Regina explores the difference between capability and capacity, how nervous system dysregulation shows up when expectations exceed regulation, and why asking for support is often the turning point.

This episode is for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults who:

• Feel capable but constantly overwhelmed
• Push themselves until they hit meltdown or burnout
• Struggle with perfectionism, executive dysfunction, and sensory overload
• Were never taught how to work with their nervous system

You’ll learn why capacity isn’t about what you should be able to do, how overcapacity escalates into shame and dysregulation, and how regulation and community support can restore sustainability without giving up on the things you care about.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

The holidays demand more—more socializing, more masking, more expectations, more emotional labor. And for neurodivergent people, that pressure often leads to a very specific kind of burnout that doesn’t magically disappear on January 1st.

In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. explores holiday burnout through a neurodivergent lens, unpacking why the season is so depleting and why traditional “rest over the break” or New Year’s resolution culture completely misses the point.

Joined by Russ Catanach, Regina breaks down how extended holiday demands dysregulate the nervous system, why burnout is more than exhaustion, and how years of pushing through family obligations, end-of-year work pressure, and social expectations can culminate in shutdown—often right when we’re “supposed” to feel refreshed.

This episode reframes post-holiday recovery as a capacity reset rather than a productivity failure. You’ll hear personal stories, reflections on long-term stress, and why intentional rest—especially after the holidays—is not lazy, indulgent, or avoidant, but necessary for nervous system repair.

If you’re heading into the new year feeling depleted instead of motivated, this episode offers permission to opt out of resolutions and start listening to what your body actually needs.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.

Why do so many capable, resilient people struggle to care for themselves?

In this solo episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D. reframes self-neglect not as a personal failure, but as a learned survival strategy, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults who spent years masking, adapting, and pushing through. From skipping meals and ignoring pain to treating rest as something that must be earned, self-neglect often looks “functional” on the outside while quietly draining your nervous system.

Regina explores why high-capacity, over-functioning people learn to ignore their needs, how burnout and chronic dysregulation sneak in, and why self-forgiveness is so tricky when you judge your past self with present-day knowledge. This episode offers a compassionate reframe: you neglected yourself to survive.

You’ll also hear practical ways to begin practicing self-forgiveness, including releasing shame, lowering expectations without self-judgment, and building accommodations that actually support your brain and body.

If you’re navigating burnout, late diagnosis, or unlearning lifelong self-abandonment, this episode offers a gentle place to start.

Sign up for N.E.R.D. Notes and get weekly nerdy neurodivergent insights!

Book a Clarity Call with Regina

About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD

Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support to late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields that she needed when she got her late diagnosis.