You don’t feel like you fit. You’re not sure what the point of any of it is. And the people around you keep doing things that get under your skin.

So you do what most of us do. You look outward. You decide it’s your partner, your colleague, your mother, your kids. If they’d just change, you’d feel better.

They won’t. And you won’t.

In this first episode of a nine-part series, Anthony Hartcher sits down with you to map the three relationships that make up a whole life — the one with yourself, the one with others, and the one with everything — and why the order isn’t negotiable. The relationship with you comes first. The other two are reflections of it.

He gets into the uncomfortable part too: that the behaviour you judge hardest in other people is almost always something you’ve done yourself and never forgiven. Your mirror neurons replay it. An old association fires. You feel awful. And you hand the blame to whoever’s standing in front of you.

The way back isn’t to think positively about it. It’s to look at the behaviour honestly — what it cost, what it served — until it stops carrying a charge at all. Then you just see the person. And they feel seen.

It’s homework. Anthony’s honest that it’s hard. He’s also clear it’s the highest-value work you’ll ever do, because every relationship you have is downstream of it.

This series runs alongside the book he’s writing, Feeling Broken: A Pathway to Self-Love and Healing.

In this episode:
→ The three relationships, and why they stack in that order
→ What disconnection actually feels like from the inside
→ Why survival mode keeps you looking outward for the answer
→ Mirror neurons and the old memory behind every trigger
→ How to dissolve guilt and shame instead of managing them
→ Why love and gratitude do more healing than anything you can buy

Something here land a bit close? Book a free 15-minute clarity call with Anthony — click here.

Anthony Hartcher is a clinical nutritionist, lifestyle medicine specialist and your joyful journey mentor.

Did we watch the same movie?

You and a friend leave the cinema. They loved it. You didn't. Same film, completely different experience. It happens in conversations, at work, in families, and in how we see food, health, love and ourselves.

In this episode of the Joyful Mate Podcast, Anthony Hartcher shows how to catch yourself mid-judgment and widen the lens you see through.

You'll hear:

• Why perception is filtered by experience, and why that filter can be widened

• How "good" and "bad" quietly become limiting beliefs, and how cognitive bias goes looking for evidence to prove them

• A simple practice: stop, reflect, then look at what you're not seeing

• Why we judge in others what we dislike in ourselves

• How measuring your worth by one number (pay, the scales, a label) keeps you frustrated

• What an ocean rescue on New Year's Day taught Anthony about identity, self-blame and the many forms help can take

• How the same idea applies to love and to giving gifts

If you've been feeling frustrated, irritable or constantly annoyed, this one is for you. Perspective doesn't change the world, but it can change how much of it you can see.

Know someone who needs this? Share it with them.

Free coaching consultation with Anthony: [BOOKING LINK]

About the Joyful Mate Podcast: conversations to help you find more joy, fulfilment, meaning and purpose. Hosted by Anthony Hartcher, clinical nutritionist, lifestyle medicine specialist and your joyful journey mentor.

Subscribe and leave a rating if this episode helped you.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for personalised professional advice. If you're finding things hard, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14.

Ever slipped back into an old habit right when life got overwhelming? You’re not weak, and you haven’t failed. Your nervous system is reaching for the coping pattern it knows best.

In this episode, I break down what connects anxiety and addiction, drawing on a conversation with a client who was upset after a relapse. We talk about why old coping pathways reactivate under stress, and why progress can still be real even when you take a step back.

In this episode:

• Why relapse happens when you’re overwhelmed, and what it does and doesn’t mean
• How anxiety and addictive habits are linked, whether it’s food, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, gambling or anything else
• The “nightmare and fantasy” pattern: why we chase relief to escape what we fear
• Why substances and food can calm the nervous system short term without solving the root cause
• Step one: awareness, and why noticing the pattern is already progress
• How to build a new go-to response (mindfulness, meditation, movement, yoga, time away from devices) and make the old habit harder to reach
• The real costs of addictive habits, from health and money to relationships

If you’re ready to start breaking a habit that no longer serves you, book a free 30-minute coaching session with me using this link.

I’m Anthony Hartcher, clinical nutritionist and lifestyle medicine specialist, and this is the Joyful Mate Podcast. If this one resonated, follow the show and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

This episode is for education and general wellbeing and isn’t a substitute for personal medical or mental health advice. If you’re struggling, please speak with your GP or a qualified health professional.