You've done what you were told would make you happy. So why doesn't it feel like enough?

Larry Kesslin quit a corporate career at 29, built businesses for more than 30 years, then spent a month in Uganda and Kenya meeting people with almost nothing who were more joyful than anyone he knew. He's been unpacking that ever since, and it became his book, The Joy Molecule.

In this conversation with Anthony Hartcher:

• Why awareness is the first step, and why most of our beliefs were handed to us

• The 20-something rule for choosing who you were born to be

• The Enough Equation: (being + giving + having) ÷ comparison

• Why comparison is the "killer of enoughness"

• Joy as knowing what you are, who you are and why you are

• Spark Cards: questions that get strangers connecting in 15 minutes

Find Larry: 5-dots.com | linkedin.com/in/larrykesslin | Substack "Back to the Campfire" | The Joy Molecule and Success Redefined on Amazon

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You don’t feel like you fit. You’re not sure what the point of any of it is. And the people around you keep doing things that get under your skin.

So you do what most of us do. You look outward. You decide it’s your partner, your colleague, your mother, your kids. If they’d just change, you’d feel better.

They won’t. And you won’t.

In this first episode of a nine-part series, Anthony Hartcher sits down with you to map the three relationships that make up a whole life — the one with yourself, the one with others, and the one with everything — and why the order isn’t negotiable. The relationship with you comes first. The other two are reflections of it.

He gets into the uncomfortable part too: that the behaviour you judge hardest in other people is almost always something you’ve done yourself and never forgiven. Your mirror neurons replay it. An old association fires. You feel awful. And you hand the blame to whoever’s standing in front of you.

The way back isn’t to think positively about it. It’s to look at the behaviour honestly — what it cost, what it served — until it stops carrying a charge at all. Then you just see the person. And they feel seen.

It’s homework. Anthony’s honest that it’s hard. He’s also clear it’s the highest-value work you’ll ever do, because every relationship you have is downstream of it.

This series runs alongside the book he’s writing, Feeling Broken: A Pathway to Self-Love and Healing.

In this episode:
→ The three relationships, and why they stack in that order
→ What disconnection actually feels like from the inside
→ Why survival mode keeps you looking outward for the answer
→ Mirror neurons and the old memory behind every trigger
→ How to dissolve guilt and shame instead of managing them
→ Why love and gratitude do more healing than anything you can buy

Something here land a bit close? Book a free 15-minute clarity call with Anthony — click here.

Anthony Hartcher is a clinical nutritionist, lifestyle medicine specialist and your joyful journey mentor.

Did we watch the same movie?

You and a friend leave the cinema. They loved it. You didn't. Same film, completely different experience. It happens in conversations, at work, in families, and in how we see food, health, love and ourselves.

In this episode of the Joyful Mate Podcast, Anthony Hartcher shows how to catch yourself mid-judgment and widen the lens you see through.

You'll hear:

• Why perception is filtered by experience, and why that filter can be widened

• How "good" and "bad" quietly become limiting beliefs, and how cognitive bias goes looking for evidence to prove them

• A simple practice: stop, reflect, then look at what you're not seeing

• Why we judge in others what we dislike in ourselves

• How measuring your worth by one number (pay, the scales, a label) keeps you frustrated

• What an ocean rescue on New Year's Day taught Anthony about identity, self-blame and the many forms help can take

• How the same idea applies to love and to giving gifts

If you've been feeling frustrated, irritable or constantly annoyed, this one is for you. Perspective doesn't change the world, but it can change how much of it you can see.

Know someone who needs this? Share it with them.

Free coaching consultation with Anthony: [BOOKING LINK]

About the Joyful Mate Podcast: conversations to help you find more joy, fulfilment, meaning and purpose. Hosted by Anthony Hartcher, clinical nutritionist, lifestyle medicine specialist and your joyful journey mentor.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for personalised professional advice. If you're finding things hard, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14.