William Shakespeare and his vocabulary of thous, thees, and doths has been the delight of literature nerds and the scourge of high school students since before ChatGPT had even sanctioned its first user delusion. Shakespeare is one of the best selling authors in human history (though he’s had a lot of time to build up that lead, to be fair), the most performed playwright in theater, and has been firmly atop the canon of English literature for centuries. Big Bill Shakespeare isn’t just winning on the stage, however, he’s also been adapted for the screen, many times in fact. Over the years dozens of directors have taken dozens more angles on translating Shakespeare, perhaps none to more acclaim than the 1989 Kenneth Branagh directed rendition of Henry V, based on the play of the same name. This gritty, muddy vision of Harfleur and Agincourt, as well as all the royal politicking in between, released to rave reviews in its time, but can it withstand the discerning, monocled gazes of theater regulars and literary connoisseurs Nathan and Elliot Magalhães? You few, you happy, very, very few have the opportunity to find out here and now on Magellans at the Movies! Once more unto the breach, dear audience!

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The tragic sinking of the RMS Titanic was an event that saw the telling of many stories. Stories of heroism and valor as well as cowardice and ugliness. Unfortunately, none of those stories included a pair of young hotties who could be played by bankable heartthrob stars enjoying a passionate but doomed love affair, so the good people of tinsel town had to step in for the movie version. Titanic, the 1997 historical romance directed by James Cameron, may be more fiction than fact, but that didn’t stop it from achieving legendary success. This fable of the water-borne Babel raked in cash by the millions and awards by the dozens, and is rarely far from the top on lists of most popular Best Picture winners. Will Nathan and Elliot be third class heroes, sharing in the love of millions of fans, or will they be first class upstarts sneering down their noses at one of the most beloved movies of the 1990s? Grab your tickets and become kings and/or queens of the world with us as we set sail to find out!

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As the people in my basement will tell you, in hostage situations as in parties, your host is often the difference between a legendary, all night rager and a brief, unpleasant excursion sure to end in tragedy. Remember: as the one with the gun, you are responsible for the comfort, health, and restraints of your guests, and it takes a sharp, compassionate mind to juggle these responsibilities. Without these factors in mind, things can go south fast, as evidenced by the quirky kidnapping at the heart of Bugonia, a 2025 comedy thriller directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and based on Save the Green Planet! By Jang Jonn-Hwan. Bugonia combines Yorgos’ usual idiosyncratic stylings with a somewhat more accessible narrative than his past outings, which may explain the movie’s success. As of writing, Bugonia has been nominated for multiple Oscars, and enjoys warm feelings from critics and audiences alike. But what is the temperature of those other idiosyncratic men with strange surnames: Nathan and Elliot Magalhães of Magellans at the Movies? To answer that and many other questions no one is asking, join us on today’s new episode as Lanthimos superfan Nathan and Lanthimos skeptic Elliot explore the Goofy Ghastly Greek’s latest fever dream. Brush up on your Andromedan and shave your head, let’s hit the basement!

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TBD

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nerds of all ages, welcome to Magellans at the Movies Film Fight Night! We have an electrifying match for you this evening: a contest that has been raging across fandom for decades, a question that has divided geeks into two factions of noble warriors doing battle on message boards in the name of their preferred champion, a smackdown between two of the most famous, most celebrated, most prolific characters in all of science fiction, that's right Trekkies, for one night only Magellans at the Movies will be an arena in which Captains Kirk and Picard will go head-to-head in a contest for the title of Ultimate Enterprise Captain World Champion! In this corner we have the gallant and committed leader of men, seducer of women, merciful sparer of Gorns, and triumphant winner of a thousand poorly choreographed brawls across the stars, let's hear it for James T. Kirk! And his challenger, the Bald Burly Brit (who's actually supposed to be French), the man who became a Borg and lived to tell the tale, the man who defended and befriended an android, the man for whom surrender is a four letter word, give it up for Jean Luc Picard! Each captain will be represented by their standout film, for Kirk the gratifying, satisfying, Spock-killing, man-thrilling, space dictator spilling classic The Wrath of Khan! Don't pop the champagne yet, though, Kirk fans, because first he'll have to best Picard as he embarks on a time-travelling cyborg-slaughterfest chiller, thriller, all warp and no filler First Contact! Ladies and gentlemen, affix your universal translator, set your phasers to fun, and beam up with Nathan and Elliot as they travel at warp nine where millions have gone before on a journey of excitement, laughter, and tears through the very heights of the Star Trek franchise on film and plant their flags for either Shatner or Stewart! Energize!

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Books! Books are great. They’re transportive and informative; they make you look real smart if you “accidentally” leave them out where they’re sure to be seen before guests arrive (“good heavens, I’ve left my copy of 2666 in the original Spanish in the freezer, oh silly me!”). Of course, refrigerating classic literature you’ve definitely never read is on the brighter side of the utility of books; they can also be used for sinister purposes. Indeed, the conflict over whether to use books for good or ill is at the heart of today’s episode of Magellans at the Movies where we’ll be reviewing The Book of Eli, a 2010 post-apocalyptic western directed by the Hughes brothers. This sepia-toned popcorn flick isn’t talked about much these days, having received mixed reviews and mediocre cash, but is its obscurity warranted, or is this a diamond in the rough of early-2000s generic action slop? Hold close to the Good Book and grab your sunglasses as we delve into the wasteland to find out!

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Is season five of Stranger Things good? Well, stranger things have happened! Now that you’re done keeling over with hysterical laughter at that hilarious joke, please join Magellans at the Movies as they review the inexplicably long series finale of Netflix’s golden goose.

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What an utterly terrible year 2025 has been. People are angry, depressed, and hopelessly ensnared in economic woes, and Europe is doing an alarmingly accurate throwback cosplay of the continent’s 1913 political situation. For all desiring an escape from the bleak headlines and bleaker forecasts, however, there were still movies in this the two thousand and twenty fifth year of our Lord, some of them quite good. There were sleeper hits like Sinners and very much wakeful flops like Thunderbolts, Snow White, Mickey 17, Captain America, and . . . just so many more. Still, we all know (I hope) that money hardly equates with quality, and there were plenty of excellent smaller films that came out this year, some of which may be on the Magellans at the Movies 2025 year in review! Join us today as we talk about the best, the worst, and the most anticipated movies we’ve seen and heard about in 2025, not to mention a cheeky book or video game recommendation here and there. Grab some hot chocolate and go heavy on the marshmallows as Nathan and Elliot look back on the year that was and forward at the year to come in our brand new episode!

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