Everyone loves an underdog story, and no unlikely triumph gets audiences on their feet like those shocking upsets which unfold in sports. The victory of the Earthy Lovable Small Town Spotted Toads over the Arrogant Wealthy Big City Polar Bears is certain to move make you a Spotted Toad fan for life because the inspiring, uplifting story is so hard to resist. What's true in real life is often true in movies as well, which is why we have films like Hoosiers, a 1986 sports drama directed by David Anspaugh and based(ish)on the successes of the 1954 season of the Milan High School basketball team. This feel-good fable of dunks, dribbles, and drunkards was hugely popular on release, and is held by many to be among the best sports movies of all time, so it was inevitable that a sports-loving relative of Magellans at the Movies would request it. Repeatedly. But will the movie stage a dominant performance on the court of quality, or will it bounce the ball of its foot in doleful ignominy? Jump in your jersey as we find out!

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Ah, the heady days of youth, throwing action figures down stairwells and smashing armies of toy soldiers together in shocking displays of poor generalship. You may remember these blissful hours fondly, but playtime may carry less nostalgia if you knew that every time you dropped G.I. Joe on his plastic head you were actually committing a grave crime against the health and dignity of a living, feeling creature. That’s right, you vile war criminal, according to Toy Story, a 1995 animated adventure directed by John Lasseter, you shouldn’t be fondly reminiscing about your adolescent adventures, you should be dragged before the Hague in chains! I’m being glib, of course, being dropped on the head is generally what a toy signs up for in the world of this beloved kids’ classic (though they draw a firm line at death by rocket), and it’s exactly that warm, familial sentiment which makes Toy Story the film that it is. We won’t be coy about this one, folks: Toy Story is an undeniable masterpiece, and Magellans at the Movies will spend the next forty five minutes or so extolling its many, many virtues. You’ve got a good podcast in me, so press play and I’ll be eternally grateful!

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Fernão de Magalhães, or if you’re a lazy, uncultured American, Ferdinand Magellan. He probably isn’t a historical figure to whom you’ve dedicated much thought lately, or, you know, ever. Magalhães’s life and achievements may not make themselves felt in your day to day life, but there’s no denying he impacted history in a significant way. The benefits or harms of that impact, however, are, like literally everything else about history, the subject of impassioned debate. Hence Magellan, a 2025 historical epic directed by Lav Diaz, a man with some pretty strong opinions on this Portuguese navigator, opinions which he rendered across almost three hours of a movie that, if nothing else, is uncompromising in its vision. This laconic, lethargic tale of colonization and violation earned little in the way of cash or broad popular notice, but the reviews were strong and Nathan thought it would be funny to review a movie which kind of shares this program’s name. But will the movie successfully circumnavigate the globe of quality and arrive safely at home to a rapturous welcome, or will it take an arrow to the face from the enraged natives of boredom and self-righteousness? Unfurl the sails and embark with the second-most well known Magellans to find out!

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Magellans at the Movies. What can I say about this storied institution, this foundational pillar of film criticism that hasn’t been said? More books have been written on the world’s most listened-to podcast than on religion, history, and self-help combined, and yet, the men behind the movies remain a mystery. Who are these two mavericks, these titans? Where do they come from? What divine spirit empowers their globe-spanning enterprises? What, finally, is the secret to their unprecedented success? Well, I guess you’ll have to wait until episode three hundred to find out because for our two hundredth episode special Nathan and Elliot will be hosting a tournament of EVERY MOVIE THEY HAVE REVIEWED to find out which is the best. That’s a lot of films to get through, so thank you for staying with us through these many installments, and good luck finishing this one.

Bracket Link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gZg_3f3AoBV6p9Df_yz1rzul-w8Xuzywp2IPm1T_99E/copy?usp=sharing

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What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say the word “sports?” If you said something along the lines of the majesty of the human body in motion, achieving feats of athletic beauty and physical prowess as men and women test the limits of their strength and dexterity, then congratulations . . . on being WRONG, idiot! Sports, like everything else in life, is about getting cold hard cash, something that can be accomplished more easily than ever these days thanks to the explosion of sports betting. Making bank may not be as easy as the commercials want you to think, though, especially if you’re an irrepressible, fast talking gambler peddling the world’s tackiest jewelry. I’m talking, of course, about the plot of Uncut Gems, a 2019 crime drama directed by the Safdie brothers. This loud, loquacious flick made a splash when it released thanks to its many, many, many anxiety-inducing scenes of people shouting over and at each other. Will the Magellans at the Movies bet big on this 24 karat caper, or will the film lose it all on a last minute spread? This is me, this is how I win, by reviewing movies for your listening pleasure!

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Nathan and Elliot are back at it with their comic misadventures in movie reviewing, this time examining the 1958 Alfred Hitchcock classic Vertigo. Will they be made dizzy with joy by the charms of this thriller romance, or will they nauseously withdraw from the precipice in search of safer ground? Let’s find out!

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Siblings. Can’t live with ‘em, absolutely can live without ‘em, but, unfortunately for those of us who are not criminally minded, circumstances often restrict our options. Life with a brother or sister doesn’t have to be all misery and movie podcasts, however, for some brotherhood comes naturally, as is the case for the titular bros of The Blues Brothers, a 1980 musical comedy directed by John Landis. Adapted from sketches of the glory days of SNL (that’s Saturday Night Live for you uncultured types), this bouncy, melodious fable of fraternal frolicking is both well known and well liked for its superstar lineup of musical talents belting out their greatest hits in colorful numbers. But are its comedic and rhythmic charms enough to send Nathan and Elliot on a mission from God to sing its praises, or will the film receive the riotous distaste of a country bar forced to host R&B music? Start up the beater and crank the volume as we endeavor to learn!

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Obsession, it’s what I feel for videos of tortoises eating lettuce and the name of a 2026 horror movie directed by Curry Barker that Magellans at the Movies are reviewing today.

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