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There are too many blokes who are way too hard on themselves.

In this episode I’m going to break down the myth that self-compassion is soft, weak, self pity or even selfish.

• What does Self-Compassion really mean?
• What are the skills?
• Why is it so hard for some men?
• How can it actually make you stronger—not softer.

If this episode raises your interest to work on Self Compassion and you need get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

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Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

TRANSCRIPT

Speaker A: Are you kind to yourself? Do you practice self compassion?

Now, as a man, you may well feel the pressure to always be strong,

independent and self sufficient. For a lot of blokes, the idea of being kind to themselves sounds a bit, well, fluffy or wishy washy in some way. Maybe you picture bubble baths or scented candles or incense sticks or just slacking off for the day, but self compassion is actually about treating yourself with the same respect and understanding you would offer a good friend.

There are too many blokes who are way too hard on themselves.

So I'm going to break down the myth that self compassion is soft or weak.

It's not self pity and it's not even being selfish.

So what does self compassion actually mean? What are the skills? Why is it so hard for some men? And how can it actually make you stronger,

not softer? Welcome to Mentalk, a podcast of real conversations about life, your life, our life,

and the emotional well being of men. My name is Howard Todd Collins. I'm the director of Men and Relationships Counseling. Let's talk about what it really means to be a kinder and stronger man in today's world,

starting by how you treat yourself.

Thank you for being there. Sit back and relax and join me for this latest episode of Men Talk.

Good morning, good evening, good afternoon.

I think I've covered all bases but in the wrong order. I hope you're well, wherever you're, wherever you're listening to me from.

This is a solo episode. The last couple of episodes have been a conversation with a co host with my good friend Ryan. We've been talking about a few things,

so if you've missed those last couple of episodes, there are conversations or co hosted, please go back and have a look at them and have a listen. But this is just me on my own today and we're going to be covering something that I think is really common for blokes in particular,

but also for lots of women and couples that I meet who kind of get in their own way.

Do you ever find yourself being just too hard on yourself or even other people?

Are you like many blokes who for

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Why would you want to sit with uncomfortable feelings?

A reasonable question!

In this latest conversation Ryan and Howard discuss:

• What does sitting with feelings even mean and what stops most of us?
• The impact of avoiding our emotions
• Some practical ideas of how to sit with feelings
• The value of finding a ritual or a practice and seeking support

This episode delves into the complexities of men's emotional experiences.

Through personal anecdotes, we emphasise the importance of recognising and addressing emotions rather than avoiding them, highlighting how communication and emotional awareness can improve mental well-being and relationships.

If you want to grab the Free Guide "Better Conversations for Blokes" - Quick and Simple ways to Communicate with Your Partner click here

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

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In this engaging and thought provoking conversation, the first co-hosted Man Talk episode, Howard and Ryan unpack what Men's Work is all about.

They share some of their experiences of Men's Groups and broader themes of Men's Work today including:

• What is Men’s Work? Where does it originate?
• What are some of the core concepts of Men’s Work?
• Our personal experiences of men’s work: What’s the point? Why put yourself through it?
• What are some of the contemporary Issues in Men's Work today?
• Why is Men’s Work so important? What are the benefits?

Resources:

Books

• No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover: A guide for men to break free from people-pleasing tendencies and embrace authenticity.
• Iron John: A Book About Men by Robert Bly: A classic exploration of masculinity and personal growth.
• The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
• The Four Agreements – by Don Miguel Ruiz
• King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore

Blogs

The Man Talk Blog: Offers insights and tips on relationships, emotional well-being, and personal growth.

The Good Men Project: A platform for men to share stories and explore modern masculinity.

Support Groups and Communities

Mankind Project: A global network of men’s groups focused on personal development and emotional intelligence.

Evryman: Facilitates men’s groups and retreats to foster emotional connection and growth.

For more about my co-host check him out - RyanSpanger.com.

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

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If you push down your feelings and tell yourself to 'man up,' 'she’ll be righ't and keep going on with life, what happens?

Bottling your emotions will make you more confused, more frustrated, disconnected from your partner, your kids, your friends, yourself!

Despite telling yourself you’re fine, this internalising leaves you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

If you find yourself bottling your emotions this episode is for you.

We’re breaking down how suppressing your feelings leads to cycles of stress, conflict in your relationship, and even harm your mental health.

We’ll talk about how opening up doesn’t make you weak – it makes you stronger, more present and more connected.

I share 6 Tips to get you started!

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

Download Your Free Guide - Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate With Your Partner

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If communication is the foundation of connection how come relationships can feel distant, strained and disconnected?

What are you not talking about with your partner?

You know those times when:

• You want to share how you’re feeling, but you don’t know where to start, so you stay silent.
• Your partner brings up an issue, and instead of addressing it, you either shut down or get defensive.
• You feel like no matter what you say, it’s taken the wrong way, so you avoid the conversation altogether.
• Or maybe you’ve tried to open up, but it feels awkward, and you’re not sure if you’re doing it ‘right.’

In this episode we discuss how you can change this, have better conversations and deepen the connection in your relationship

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

Download Your Free Guide - Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate With Your Partner

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Do you get distracted? What kind of distractions get in the way of the kind of relationship u wan t?

Do u ever feel:

• Isolated
• Disconnected
• Mentally overloaded
• Missing intimacy
• Emotionally numb
• Internalising too many thoughts

These are some of the consequences of distraction and a lack of presence…. the cornerstone of the connection u create with the love of your life!

In this episode we unpack :

• Why does your presence matter?
• What do you get distracted by, how do u maintain your attention and stay close and connected to the person u love?

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00] Speaker A: Do you ever get distracted? What kind of distractions get in the way of the kind of partner that you are or the kind of relationship that you want? Do you ever feel isolated or disconnected or mentally overloaded, Missing intimacy and maybe even struggling with emotional numbing and internalizing your thoughts?

[00:20] These are some of the consequences of distraction and in particular a lack of presence. Not the presence you get on your birthday. It's how you are attentive and available. It's the cornerstone of the connection you have with the love of your life.

[00:36] So stay with me. In this episode we unpack. Why does your presence matter? What do you get distracted by? How do you maintain your attention and stay close and connected to the person you love?

[00:50] Welcome to mantalk, a podcast of real conversations about life, your life, our life, and the emotional well being of men. My name is Howard Todd Collins. I'm the director of Men and Relationship Counseling, a counseling practice.

[01:04] Thank you for being here. Sit back and relax wherever you are and join me for the latest episode of Men Talk.

[01:28] Hello. Hello. Wherever you may be. I don't know, some people listen to me just sitting in a comfortable chair or some people are walking along the beach with the dog, some people are in the car, on the train, on a bus, on a tube.

[01:44] I don't know, wherever you are, I hope that you are going well. This latest episode of the mantalk podcast is, I think, quite relevant to the way we live our lives.

[01:53] Most of us get distracted for all sorts of reasons. There's always something to read online, listen to the news and particular. A lot of people carry lots of thoughts and feelings and ideas and tasks and so on that are locked in in their brain.

[02:08] What is it that gets you distracted in particular? Now, I've no doubt like many blokes that I meet every day, you will relate to some of t

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Barriers to Communication - What does this actually mean?

How aware are you of what gets in the way of communicating effectively?

Why can it sometimes be so difficult to communicate in a relationship?

In this episode we’ll explore:

• What emotional barriers mean
• Why they exist
• How they impact your relationship

And, most importantly, how to overcome them. You will get 4 actionable steps you can start using right now!

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your relationship skills?

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

Send us a text

As you strive to create a fulfilling and meaningful life it’s likely you may occasionally get in your own way!

You know those seemingly invisible chains that hold you back from reaching your full potential, in relationships, in your career, personal growth, in your health and fitness, and overall well-being.

Most of us have limiting beliefs that can create all kinds of self-inflicted obstacles.

This episode, the first of 2025 looks at how can you manoeuvre that mind of yours and leap over any obstacles with the grace, speed and skill of an Olympic Hurdler!

I introduce to you a couple of ways designed to shift your mindset.

They are:

Thought Reversals

Psychological Flexibility

Click this link Acceptance and Commitment Therapy referenced in this episode to find out more.

Do you want to learn more ways to improve your emotional health relationship skills?

Download a free guide:

Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate with Your Partner

Check out our Online Mini Course:

'From Shut Down to Communication - 4 Relationship Boosting Strategies for Men'

Follow us + Join the Conversation

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

www.menandrelationships.com.au

Contact us - howard@menandrelationships.com.au

If this episode raises a need to get some counselling support Howard is available for consultations in Australia.

Check out his private practice:

Men and Relationships Counselling

Or reach out to a professional in your area.

Download Your Free Guide - Better Conversations for Blokes - Quick and Simple Ways to Communicate With Your Partner