In this episode of the Why Dad Podcast, hosts Andrew Stolpestad and Paul Wandrey delve into the complexities of family dynamics, discussing the importance of communication, setting boundaries, and the role of chosen family. They share personal stories and insights on navigating family drama, emphasizing the need for empathy and understanding. The conversation also touches on the balance between supporting family members and prioritizing self-care, as well as the philosophical concepts of personalism and individualism. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own family experiences and the lessons learned along the way.

• The importance of having open conversations about family dynamics.
• Navigating family drama requires understanding and empathy.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for personal growth.
• It's essential to prioritize self-care while supporting family.
• Chosen family can provide support and understanding.
• Communication is key in resolving family conflicts.
• Personalism balances individual needs with community responsibilities.
• Family drama is a common experience for many.
• Support should empower rather than enable unhealthy behaviors.
• Reflecting on personal experiences can lead to valuable insights.

In this episode, Paul, Andrew, and Marchem Pfeiffer discuss the challenges of burnout and recovery for dads. Marchem shares his personal journey from military service to becoming a leadership coach, emphasizing the importance of self-advocacy, healing, and accountability. They explore the impact of workplace PTSD, the overlap between leadership and parenting, and the necessity of building a supportive community. Marchem provides practical tools for navigating life's challenges and highlights the significance of coping mechanisms to avoid burnout. The conversation concludes with a focus on the importance of knowing oneself and prioritizing mental health.

• Burnout is a common issue for dads, but recovery is possible.
• Self-advocacy is crucial for mental health and parenting.
• Understanding your needs is the first step to recovery.
• Healing requires accountability and self-reflection.
• Workplace PTSD can have lasting effects on personal life.
• Creating a healthy work environment is essential for well-being.
• Leadership skills can be applied to parenting.
• Admitting mistakes fosters respect and accountability.
• Coping mechanisms are vital to avoid burnout.
• Building a supportive community enhances personal growth.

🌐 Website: https://www.marchempfeiffer.com/

📘 Book: Navigating Leadership: From Toxicity to Triumph (Amazon link)

🧭 Core Alignment Quiz & Diagnostic: marchempfeiffer.com/core-alignment

✍️ Medium: @marchempfeiffer

• Crucial conversations are essential for personal growth and relationship building.
• Avoiding tough conversations can lead to resentment and miscommunication.
• The HEAR framework (Hedge, Empathize, Acknowledge, Reframe) is a useful tool for effective communication.
• It's important to prepare for crucial conversations to ensure they are productive.
• Emotions will always be present in tough conversations; managing them is key.
• Children learn from their parents how to handle disagreements and tough topics.
• Mutual understanding should be the goal of any crucial conversation.
• Acknowledging shared values can help bridge differences in opinions.
• Taking conversations personally can escalate conflicts; it's important to remain objective.
• Practicing crucial conversations can strengthen relationships over time.

Website / About / Coaching & Books: Cory Carlson (corymcarlson.com)

LinkedIn: Cory Carlson on LinkedIn LinkedIn

Books:
 • Win at Home First
 • Rise and Go

In this episode of Why Dad?, Paul and Andrew slow things down and invite listeners into a casual conversation about what’s been going on in their lives.

Topics include:

🌽 Surviving the Minnesota “corn sweats”

👶 Paul’s first weeks of paternity leave with both kids at home

🍋 Evie’s lemonade stand and the surprise competition that taught Paul a lesson in letting kids live in the moment

🚗 Andrew’s 15-year father-son car restoration project and the patience it built

❤️ Why shared hobbies and genuine interest in your kids’ passions are some of the most powerful tools for connection

This one mixes humor, reflection, and storytelling. It’s a reminder that the small moments of dad life are where the biggest lessons often show up.

Resources and Mentions:

Good Energy by Dr. Casey Means (book Andrew is currently reading)

Spencer Collazos and the “Big Calendar” reference (from a previous episode)

Call to Action:
If you enjoyed this more laid-back style of episode, let us know! Share your own “dad nuggets” with us at babba35studios@gmail.com.

Why play matters: Play is how kids communicate their inner world. It’s not just fun—it’s expressive, healing, and relational.

Responding vs. reacting: How slowing down and tuning in builds trust and emotional regulation.

Connection before correction: When children act out, it’s often a bid for connection—not defiance.

Scheduled unstructured time: Just 15–30 minutes of fully present, screen-free play each week can transform your parent-child relationship.

The bedtime battle decoded: Why your kid isn’t actually “hungry”—they just want you near.

Repetition as revelation: Repetitive play often reveals emotional needs or stressors.

Father-daughter bonds: Why a dad’s role in a daughter’s life is especially formative for her confidence and sense of worth.

Parent repair moments: It's not about being perfect—it’s about coming back later to reconnect and repair when you miss the mark.

Creating playful structure: Code words, rituals, and small gestures go a long way in strengthening bonds.

LINKS:

• https://center4playtherapy.com/
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidschatzkamer/

Takeaways

Showing up means being present physically and mentally.

It's important to take time for yourself before engaging with family.

Micro moments of presence can be just as impactful as macro moments.

Barriers to showing up include work stress and distractions.

Creating routines can help facilitate being present.

Apologizing to children strengthens the parent-child bond.

Modeling behavior for kids teaches them how to show up.

Intentionality in parenting is crucial for connection.

Finding balance between work and family is a constant challenge.

Showing up is a journey of progress, not perfection.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Fatherhood Challenges

02:03 Defining 'Showing Up' as a Parent

06:01 Personal Routines for Effective Parenting

10:05 Micro vs. Macro Moments of Showing Up

14:00 Barriers to Showing Up

19:58 Strategies for Overcoming Obstacles

24:19 Morning Rituals and Intentionality

27:18 The Importance of Presence and Connection

30:05 Family Time: Prioritizing Relationships

37:20 Overcoming Barriers to Showing Up

41:13 Moments of Pride in Showing Up

45:12 Modeling Presence for Future Generations

What We Talk About:

• What parenting a teenager teaches you about emotional honesty
• Rebuilding your creative life as a form of self-care
• How small acts of art can create connection
• Giving your kids permission to see you as human
• Balancing business, boundaries, and being present
• Creating without pressure and parenting without perfection

Resources & Mentions:

• PodcastConnections.co — Noémi’s podcast booking service
• Noémi’s return to mixed media art (discussed throughout the episode)

This Week’s Gentle Nudge:
Make something this week—just for yourself. A doodle, a note, a playlist. Let your kid see you do it.