One of Britain’s most recognisable television personalities shares a memoir of his life for the first time ever … as himself. He’s out of character, very loud and extremely funny!

‘You’re doing a book!!!???’ my friend said.

‘Yes,’ I replied.

‘What, is someone writing it for you?’

‘No. I’m writing it. It’s my book. It’s about me!’ I said.

‘But what about the spelling and the whole dyslexia thing?’ she said. ‘I’m sure the people that publish the book or my agent will check all of that,’ I said. So from the get-go I apologise if there are any typos or grammatical mistakes. There shouldn’t be, as I’m sure the book-making fairy has checked through it all. Big cheers to the book-making fairy! Hurraaahhh!

I’ve actually written books before. Seven, if I’m blowing my own trumpet. But never about me, Leigh Francis. Not many people know the real me. They know Keith Lemon, Avid Merrion, The Bear, but this book is all about who I am, out of character, totally honest, just being me. There’s going to be some sad bits, but hopefully there’ll be more happy bits that’ll put a smile on your face a few times. It’s everything I can remember up to the present day.

When I was at school they called me Francis, Franny, Eyes (my middle name is Izaak – hence eyes, I guess). Oh, I’ve also been called Ginger Bollox many times too, Ginger Bastard, Fat Ginger Bastard, all the ginger stuff. But I ain’t moaning about that. I am ginger! Ginger and proud.

Anyway, let’s start with my first memory, which was being circumcised when I was three. If we’re going to be starting at all.