-
ïLLŪMINAT(E). | Tears or A Clown - (2025)
- 2025/04/23
- 再生時間： 1 時間 2 分
- ポッドキャスト
-
サマリー
あらすじ・解説
*sneezes* W-WEGMANS! Gazuntite. I'm not gonna lie, if I lived closer to this place I'd be there all the time. Whole Foods Trader Joe's Wegmans. Honestly? Ranked? Trader Joe's Wegmans Wegmans. lol. Whole Foods is a necessary evil. {Enter The Multiverse} No, I want the half Can't go all the way Enough is enough And a hand is a hand And a handout is ransom, Spare me the note Spare me the selfish suicide concepts Spare me the alter The coaxial The collar The caller— Whatever you call me Spare me the mantras Stop talking. Long throat violence, Oh, I onkybhope to know you (Or I don't) I only hope to notice m Oh long Johnson Quick sermons and a few soft passwords A couple ardvsrks on a long top showman A couple bad barks from the dog And work for the foreman Who are you after (Not god) Have been forgiven? Is fhat a question. I marked it as such And still j walked up The lock in the bathtub did honors Did honors Did run today Who are you for Not the office Not the John Not the forerunner Oe the forward Who are you, god talker? Who are you Was often the question asked And you want to do all you want Home alone The devil runs From behind her nothing soft Anymore Awkward And then unearthed I saw you were watched, stalking Also Pulled back on my reigns, the horse Does bit the bite down And then some soaked offer Was Half you are, where Wear the volume down Wear your art hard Or suffer, Gaga! GAGA WHERE ARE YOU? LADY GAGA I'M ON A HORSE target GAGA! LADY GAGA I'M ON A HORSE, I SAID. BUT WHERE?! NEAR ENOUGH THET YOU CAN HEAR ME, LIKE, OBVIOUSLY, BUT FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT YOU CAN'T SEE ME ON A HORSE. ARE YOU COMING?! NEGATIVE. WELL— WHY NOT?! THE HORSE WONT MOVE! JUMP OFF THEN. IMPOSSIBLE. WHY IS JUMPING OFF A HORSE IMPOSSIBLE WHEN YOURE LADY GAGA ITS BECAUSE I'M LADY GAGA THAT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MULTIPLE REASONS WHAT— JUMP OFF OF THE— NEGATIVE. THERE ARE MULTIPLE FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO THIS IMPOSSIBILITY. WHY ARE THEY YELLING. Omg shut up 2 bit horse jumper Target Target Stalker Stalker Obi wan kanobi! Sheeeeeeer forces! What is this? Bad cheerleaders. WHY ARE WE YELLING?! Oh. We're fighting. Oh, that makes sense, What kind of fighting. Sword— unh— FIGHTING. Oh, okay. Why is lady Gaga on a horse?! Cause she's just like that sometimes. *shrugs, but on a horse— obviously dressed elaborately enough that yes, jumping off of the horse would be practically LADY GAGA No, completely. —Completely impossible. I wanna watch you eat spicy hot wings. In a sweater. But I left handed magic to Can't- that Cancelled I hope it was cashmere Or Calvin Klein I'll retract, Meditate and then Redact that Maybe Fantasize Glamourize that for a lifetime Pull the knife out of my back, And then sample it. I wanna watch you eat hotwings. That's—- What I want. GAGA. PLEASE! LADY GAGA I'm sorry— he's not moving. THIS IS URGENT. LADY GAGA I know it's urgent. My lack of yelling does not negate that it isn't, but. BUT WHAT? *yawns* I'm getting sleepy. [LADY GAGA falls asleep atop the horse; only then does the horse begin to move, however— it appears as though GAGA is now completely unconscious. But those shoes. Egad. Bro. lol. Why is this? I'm… my writers blocks are not fun, practical, or progressive. They're just. [LADY GAGA fights and defeats an entire battle completely unconscious atop a horse.] Isn't technically the horse… fighting. No, and I'll explain to you why. Omgz *spoiler* [lady Gaga IS the horse] Why. What the fuck. Fuck these shapeshifters. Fuck everything right now. What the fuck did I just watch. WHAT DID I JUST SEEEEEEEEEE Dedede…fleetleum, fleetleflum… “Fleedleflum?” Ahem!? Dude, you are a villain. WHAT, BECAUSE I SAID “FLEETLEFLUM” *fleedleflum AHEM! I SETH MEYERS is revealed as the villain… Again. WHAT! WHY! I THOUGHT I WAS THE VILLAIN. you said you didn't want it! THEN I ADJUSTED. Well, too late. WHAT. Nice. Hehe. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! I WENT METHOD. A-for effort, I guess? WHATEVER A-FOR-EFFORT. I JUST COMMITTED A LOT OF EVIL SHIT For what FOR THEATRICAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. Well. “WELL?” Like what. Like— Tax Fraud. Ahem. Nice. [beat] Seth, you got the part. Yesssss! Booyah. Maybe you can take some method lessons and pointers from your friend here— Salt of the earth! — Mr. Evil tax fraud man. RYAN REYNOLDS *deflates* Later. Where are you going? I'm going to do Pilates. Because I'm rich. (Everyone just kind of nods in agreement.) L E G E N D S STEPHEN COLBERT runs at full speed down the street towards the house at which his formerly youthful self “recently” disappeared during a thunderstorm. Oh look. ...