Why Listen? In this deeply engaging episode, Andy Brown sits down with ER nurse, relationship expert, and podcast host Jillian Riddell to explore the concept of emotional overdraft and the profound impact it can have on our lives. Through personal anecdotes and professional insights, Jillian shares her journey from being a hidden child to a teen mother, and how these early experiences shaped her approach to life and relationships. This episode is packed with practical advice, emotional exercises, and inspiring stories that will resonate with anyone looking to build emotional resilience and find balance in their lives.

Key Topics and Insights:

• The Origin of Emotional Overdraft: Jillian opens up about her challenging childhood, revealing how being a “secret” child shaped her self-worth and drove her to overachieve in an attempt to fill emotional voids. "I was almost addicted to achievement, not for my internal purpose, but for an external result."
• Self-Awareness and Emotional Health: Jillian discusses the importance of understanding our emotions and their origins. "If we don't know how we feel, then we don't know what we need." She introduces practical exercises like her “Clarity Sessions” and the "Emotional Playlist" to help listeners manage stress and build emotional resilience.
• Overcoming Personal Adversity: From being a teen mum to becoming an ER nurse, Jillian's story is one of perseverance. She shares the impact of societal judgements and how she defied expectations to build a successful career and a fulfilling life. "I had my son on a Monday when I was nine months pregnant in college, went back the next Monday, and became valedictorian."
• Emotional Overdraft in Relationships: Jillian dives into how unresolved emotional baggage can strain relationships and shares how she and her husband worked through their own challenges. "If we don’t know how to unpack those grief cases together, we end up just being each other's source of grief."
• Practical Tools for Emotional Resilience: The episode is rich with practical advice, including the importance of regular self-check-ins, deep breathing exercises, and the creation of an “Emotional Playlist” to maintain a positive mindset. "Emotions are primary energy drainers, but they can also be our primary energy drivers."

Personal Anecdotes:

• Jillian’s Secret Childhood: Jillian candidly shares how being hidden from her father’s family until she was 18 affected her sense of self-worth and led to a lifelong struggle with people-pleasing and achievement addiction.
• Andy’s Reflection on Adoption: Andy connects with Jillian by sharing his own experience of being adopted at a young age and the impact it had on his need to prove his worth. "I spent years, probably still do at 59, trying to prove that I was worthy."

Further Resources:

• Life Without Secrets Podcast: Hosted by Jillian Riddell, this podcast dives into personal growth, relationships, and emotional resilience.
• Emotional Overdraft Book by Andy Brown: For more insights on managing emotional overdraft, Andy’s book is available on Amazon in various formats.
• HeartMath Institute: Explore the science behind emotions and heart rate variability, as discussed by Jillian in this episode.

Follow Jillian Riddell:

• Instagram: @LifeWithoutSecretsPodcast
• Website: Life Without Secrets

Connect with Andy Brown:

• LinkedIn: Andy Brown on LinkedIn

"Burnout isn't something that happens for a day. It is physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion."

"All of my self-worth was coming from work. So I'd got myself into a situation where I felt useless and worthless except when I was getting accolades from work or recognition from work."

"I remember a conversation with my new line manager... And I was being like I don't need help. If I have to ask for help, it means that I can't cope. And then everybody knows that I'm not able to do my job. So there was some imposter syndrome as well."

Show Notes for "Exploring Emotional Overdraft" Podcast Episode with Andy Brown and Hannah Holden

Background and Burnout Story (01:37):

Hannah Holden (01:50): Shares her background in IT and consulting, detailing her experience with burnout 10 years ago. She emphasises the high demands and unmanageable workload that led to her burnout.

Understanding Burnout (05:05):

Hannah Holden (05:34): Explains what burnout means to her, describing it as physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion akin to depression. She clarifies that burnout is not a temporary state of tiredness.

Signs and Reactions to Burnout (07:52)

Hannah Holden (07:52): Discusses her reluctance to seek help due to imposter syndrome and the misinterpretation of her boss's empowerment as lack of support

Low Point and Turning Point (10:14):

Hannah Holden (10:14): Recalls the moment she realised she was severely depleted, both emotionally and spiritually, leading to a breakdown on her kitchen floor. This low point became her turning point.

Recovery and Identity-Based Change (12:31):

Hannah Holden (12:31): Describes how she used her desire to become a mother as motivation to change her lifestyle and habits. Emphasises the importance of aligning actions with personal values.

Navigating Stress (23:10)

Hannah Holden (23:10): Suggests that understanding and navigating stress, rather than managing it, is crucial. Recommends finding support from others to help see and address issues that may not be apparent to oneself.

Values and External Help (28:21):

Andy Brown (28:21): Highlights the importance of understanding personal values and getting external help to navigate stress and avoid burnout.

Practical Advice (33:40):

Hannah Holden (33:40): Advocates for intentional decision-making based on what is truly valuable, using examples from her own experience and those of her clients

Connecting with Others (37:03):

Andy Brown (37:03): Shares a personal story about reconnecting with friends and the power of maintaining a supportive network.

Simple Change for Reducing Stress (43:40):

Hannah Holden (43:40): Introduces the "physiological sigh" technique to quickly reduce stress. Demonstrates how to do it effectively.

Hannah Holden: "Getting to know your values is helpful... but working with somebody else makes it so much easier and faster."

Call to Action:

• Listen to Hannah Holden's podcast, "Burnout Isn't Necessary," available on Apple and Spotify.
• Connect with Hannah on LinkedIn or visit her website at hannahholden.co.uk.
• Practise the "physiological sigh" technique to manage stress effectively.

Additional Resources:

• Hannah Holden's LinkedIn: Hannah Holden on LinkedIn
• Website: hannahholden.co.uk
• Podcast: Burnout Isn't Necessary on Apple and Spotify

Thank you for listening!

In the latest episode of "Exploring Emotional Overdraft," host Andy Brown engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Alex Price, a former agency owner who reflects on his journey from freelance web designer to the founder and eventual seller of a digital marketing agency. Alex shares his candid insights on the highs and lows of building a business, including the challenges of managing a growing team and the personal toll it took on him.

Alex recounts his early days, starting as a freelancer at 16, and how he scaled his agency to 35 employees before selling it in 2022. He touches on the imposter syndrome he faced, especially as a young entrepreneur managing older employees, and the constant pressure of balancing business growth with personal well-being. Throughout the discussion, Alex emphasizes the importance of delegating effectively and trusting his team, which allowed him to focus on strategic growth rather than micromanagement.

A key theme of the episode is Alex’s realization of the concept of "overworking and under living." He discusses how his relentless focus on work often led to neglecting other aspects of life, such as relationships and personal interests. This imbalance, he notes, can lead to an emotional overdraft where the success of the business comes at the expense of one's mental and physical health.

Alex offers valuable advice for other entrepreneurs facing similar challenges: avoid overworking by ensuring you continue to live fully and engage in activities outside of work. He highlights the importance of maintaining a healthy work-life balance and staying connected with friends, family, and personal interests.

To conclude, Alex shares his current endeavors, which include traveling, consulting, and exploring new opportunities while finding a better balance in life. Listeners can connect with him on LinkedIn or through his website, alexprice.co.uk, to learn more about his journey and gain further insights.

This episode provides a deep dive into the emotional aspects of entrepreneurship, offering practical advice for managing stress and maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

Introduction of Alex Price: Former digital marketing agency owner who scaled his business from freelancing to a 35-employee agency.

Early Career: Started freelancing at 16 and quickly transitioned into running an agency by his early twenties.

Imposter Syndrome: Faced challenges managing older employees and the pressure of transitioning from freelancer to CEO.

Business Growth: Importance of delegating tasks and trusting team members for effective business scaling.

Personal Toll of Entrepreneurship: Discussed the emotional and physical impact of running a business, including constant stress and difficulty detaching from work.

Overworking vs. Under Living: Highlighted the need to balance work with personal life to avoid emotional overdraft and maintain overall well-being.

Hiring and Managing People: Focused on hiring for attitude and soft skills over technical skills, and the importance of creating a supportive work environment.

Post-Sale Reflection: Reflected on selling his agency and the mixed emotions of detaching from the business.

Current Endeavors: Engaging in consulting, traveling, and exploring new opportunities while maintaining a balanced lifestyle.

Advice for Entrepreneurs: Encouraged listeners to live fully outside of work to prevent burnout and maintain mental and physical health.

Balancing Empathy and Urgency: Leadership Lessons with Julie Smith

In this insightful episode of "Exploring Emotional Overdraft," host Andy Brown is joined by Julie Smith, founder of Talent Sprout and author of the Amazon bestseller, "Coach Yourself Confident." Together, they delve into the intricacies of emotional overdraft in leadership, discussing the challenges and strategies for maintaining mental and physical well-being while striving for business success.

Key Talking Points:

1. Introduction to Julie Smith
   • Julie's corporate background with Mars and PepsiCo.
   • Founding Talent Sprout and her leadership coaching journey.
   • Writing "Coach Yourself Confident."
2. Understanding Emotional Overdraft
   • Definition: Subsidizing business success at the cost of personal well-being.
   • The concept of resilience as the currency of emotional overdraft.
3. The Role of Self-Assessment
   • Julie's experience with the emotional overdraft self-assessment.
   • The value of identifying habits that contribute to emotional overdraft.
4. Empathy and Overcommitment
   • Julie on empathy leading to overcommitment: "There is so much in there that just shines a light on habits that don't serve me well."
   • The impact of empathy and duty on leadership and personal boundaries.
5. Urgency and Its Magnetic Pull
   • The contagious nature of stress and urgency in organizations.
   • Andy on urgency: "I wonder if urgency is magnetic. You kind of get drawn to it like a North, North and South magnet."
6. Procrastination and Accountability
   • Julie on procrastination: "It's really about trying to get underneath the surface of what is getting in the way."
7. Self-Doubt and the Self-Doubt Tax
   • Julie's concept of the self-doubt tax and its two forms: missed opportunities and overwork leading to exhaustion.
8. Humble Confidence
   • The balance of capability and confidence.
   • Julie's mantra: "I am good enough and I can be better."
9. Practical Strategies: To-Do Lists and Done Lists
   • The tyranny of to-do lists and faulty calibration.
   • The concept of a "done list" for acknowledging accomplishments.
10. Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
    • The importance of recognizing and managing emotions in leadership.
    • Andy on feelings as a measure of thinking quality: "Your feelings are a measure of the quality of your thinking."

Quotes:

• Julie Smith: "Empathy is a wonderful thing, but when it tips into putting other people's needs before your own, it's no longer a strength."
• Andy Brown: "Stress is contagious, and I think urgency is magnetic."
• Julie Smith: "The self-doubt tax is the cost of oversized self-doubt."
• Andy Brown: "Your feelings are a measure of the quality of your thinking."

Connect with Julie Smith:

• Website: Talent Sprout
• LinkedIn: Julie Smith on LinkedIn
• Book: Coach Yourself Confident

Call to Action:

• Subscribe to "Exploring Emotional Overdraft" for more insightful episodes.
• Take the emotional overdraft self-assessment on Andy Brown's website.
• Connect with Julie Smith on LinkedIn and explore her coaching services.

Show Notes: Exploring Emotional Overdraft with Heather Beach

"I had this view before I understood properly that perfectionists were all neat and tidy, they were procrastinators, and actually it's not that at all. Self-oriented perfectionism is having incredibly high standards for yourself, and it's being really uncomfortable when you make a mistake."

"I'm a single mum, the income comes down to me"

--

On this episode of Exploring Emotional Overdraft, Andy chats to Heather Beach as she shares her personal experience and insights on managing emotional overdraft, work-life balance, and the challenges of having conversations about wellbeing in the workplace. The conversation delves into the importance of active listening, self-awareness, and boundary-setting in managing emotional overdraft. It also explores the impact of societal and technological changes on well-being and business success. Heather shares insights on self-discovery, redefining success, and the value of deliberate planning in achieving a sustainable lifestyle.

Episode Highlights

• Guest Introduction
  • Heather Beach: Author and business owner.
  • Overview of Heather’s business, Healthy Work Company, focusing on organizational wellbeing strategies and training.
• Understanding Emotional Overdraft
  • Heather shares her personal experiences with emotional overdraft.
  • The concept of emotional overdraft as subsidizing business success at the cost of personal wellbeing.
  • Key drivers of emotional overdraft, such as over-servicing and empathy over-delivered.
• Heather’s Business Approach
  • Tailoring wellbeing strategies to organizational culture.
  • Emphasis on stress risk assessments and systemic stress in organizations.
  • Training managers on having effective wellbeing conversations with employees.
  • The impact of organizational culture on individual stress levels.
• Personal Insights and Experiences
  • Heather's struggle with managing friendships and professional relationships.
  • The significance of being self-aware and understanding personal drivers.
  • The difference between obsessive passion and harmonious passion in work.
• Dealing with Emotional Overdraft
  • Importance of boundaries in professional and personal life.
  • Recognizing and addressing perfectionism and the need for external validation.
  • Tips for managers to support their teams’ wellbeing without crossing boundaries.
• Practical Advice for Listeners
  • Heather’s approach to simplifying life and business.
  • The concept of work-life boundaries rather than work-life balance.
  • Encouragement to be deliberate about relationships and activities that recharge rather than deplete energy.
• Final Thoughts
  • The need for self-awareness in managing emotional overdraft.
  • The ongoing journey of understanding and managing personal wellbeing.

Key Takeaways

1. Self-Awareness is Crucial: Understanding personal triggers and drivers helps in managing emotional overdraft effectively.
2. Boundaries Matter: Establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life is essential for maintaining wellbeing.
3. Deliberate Choices: Be intentional about the relationships and activities you invest in, focusing on those that recharge you.
4. Perfectionism: Recognize and address perfectionism and the need for external validation to reduce emotional overdraft.
5. Organizational Support: Employers and managers should create supportive environments that address systemic stress and promote wellbeing.

Resources Mentioned

• Heather Beach’s book: I'm a Boss, Not a Shrink
• Healthy Work Company website:

"I'm very scatty. I'm one of those people that I think I'm often thinking about the bigger picture or the things that are really important to me. So the little things don't get done."

"I mean, I've had some pretty shit things in life, as in my husband went to prison when my daughter was 13 months old."

"I think I've always, I always want more. So I'm never happy, which is pretty sad. I mean, I'm not, I'm actually quite a happy person, but I always strive for more and I always put a lot of pressure on myself."

In this episode of Exploring Emotional Overdraft, Andy speaks to Katie Street, founder of Street Agency as she shares her personal and professional experiences.

Key Discussion Points:

1. Emotional Overdraft Explained:
   • The term refers to the personal cost entrepreneurs pay for their business's success, impacting their emotional and physical health.
   • Andy frames it as an invisible line in one's P&L that shows success at the expense of the founder's well-being.
2. Katie’s Personal Struggles with Emotional Overdraft:
   • Despite her successful appearance, Katie discusses the pressures and guilt she often feels, exacerbated by her rigorous personal and professional standards.
   • She talks about the difficulties of managing a strict detox regimen alongside her business responsibilities, reflecting on the need for self-compassion and realistic goal-setting.
3. Professional Journey and Business Evolution:
   • Katie outlines her career path in sales and marketing, leading to the founding of Street Agency, which specializes in lead generation and content for tech clients.
   • She details the agency’s pivot towards servicing larger tech companies and the evolution of their business model in response to market demands and opportunities.
4. Leadership and Management Challenges:
   • Katie reflects on the challenges of being a self-critical leader, her experiences with hiring and managing a team, and the complexities of scaling a business.
   • She shares lessons learned from a failed attempt to appoint a managing director, emphasizing the importance of role clarity and the need to match job roles with personal strengths and business needs.
5. Resilience and Coping Mechanisms:
   • Despite the tough year financially and operationally, Katie highlights the resilience it took to navigate these challenges, including taking strategic risks like loans to sustain the business.
   • She also discusses the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to maintain mental health and productivity.
6. Advice for Entrepreneurs:
   • Katie and Andy discuss the importance of recognizing accomplishments and the need for entrepreneurs to give themselves credit where it's due.
   • She stresses the importance of time management and self-reflection in making thoughtful business decisions and maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

Conclusion:

• Katie's journey illustrates the hidden costs of entrepreneurship and the essential balance between ambition and well-being.
• Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their emotional overdraft and consider Katie’s advice on resilience, leadership, and personal growth.

https://street.agency/
Connect with Katie on Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/katiestreet/

In this incredible and moving episode of Exploring Emotional Overdraft, Andy Brown interviews Paul O'Malley, the COO of Fox Agency. Paul candidly shares his journey of expanding the agency into the US and the challenges he faced. He discusses the pressure he felt to succeed and the toll it took on his mental and physical well-being.

Paul opens up about experiencing intense panic attacks and the realisation that after much denial he recognised just how deep he was in his emotional overdraft. The conversation touches on Paul's reliance on alcohol during his hardest times, how he blacked in the middle of the street and how he eventually found his way back through therapy, medication and non-negotiable setting boundaries to avoid burnout.

Paul talks about throwing himself into photography and emphasises the real importance of recharging and taking care of his mental health.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Background

05:16
Paul's Experience with Emotional Overdraft

12:15
Impact of Emotional Overdraft on Paul

25:23
Panic Attacks and Emotional Overdraft

31:46
Self-Medicating with Alcohol

36:01
Recognizing the Need for Help

40:20
The Importance of Recharging

44:16
Living in the Present Moment

49:52
Managing Emotional Overdraft

57:43
Protecting Time for Yourself

https://fox.agency/

Introduction:
In an engaging episode of "Exploring Emotional Overdraft," Andy Brown dives into a profound conversation with Charlie Marchant, the CEO of Exposure Ninja. Known for her balanced approach to emotional and professional challenges, Charlie shares her journey and insights into managing emotional overdrafts, offering invaluable lessons on personal growth and leadership.

Key Takeaways from the Episode:

• Understanding Emotional Overdraft: Charlie articulates her perception of emotional overdraft, emphasizing the necessity of acknowledging one's limitations. She underlines the importance of separating self-worth from professional achievements and the dangers of the "Just Fix, Do, Implement" (JFDI) mentality. This foundational understanding is pivotal for anyone looking to manage their emotional reserves effectively.
• The Power of Processes: Charlie credits her ability to manage stress and maintain high-quality work to being process-driven. She highlights the significance of establishing standard operating procedures, ensuring team competence through training, and the critical role of feedback. This approach not only streamlines operations but also fosters a culture of trust and accountability.
• Navigating New Challenges: A theme that resonates throughout the conversation is the evolution of challenges within the workplace. Charlie discusses the shift towards the need for inter-team collaboration, viewing these challenges as opportunities for growth and development. Her perspective reframes obstacles as catalysts for organizational and personal advancement.
• Recruiting with Intention: Charlie shares her philosophy on "recruiting slower," focusing on aligning potential hires with the specific demands and culture of the role and company. This thoughtful approach to recruitment ensures a harmonious match between the employee's capabilities and the job's requirements, ultimately reducing turnover and enhancing team dynamics.
• Adaptive Leadership: A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the concept of being a "people manager" rather than a "line manager." Charlie advocates for adapting leadership styles to meet individual team members' needs, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding in fostering a supportive work environment.
• Personal Fulfillment Beyond Work: Charlie passionately speaks on the necessity of engaging in activities outside of work that one loves. She believes that a well-rounded life, rich with personal interests and passions, is essential for maintaining balance and preventing emotional overdraft.

Conclusion:
Charlie Marchant's journey and insights offer a roadmap for effectively navigating emotional overdraft, highlighting the importance of self-awareness, process orientation, intentional recruitment, adaptive leadership, and personal fulfillment. Her evolved approach serves as an inspiration for leaders and individuals alike, seeking to balance professional success with emotional well-being.