Episode 1: Toxic Motivation

• “Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response and a fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge if you slowed down.”
• Questions & discussion
  • Stress
    • By definition, stress is non-directional. Eustress is actually GOOD stress that triggers positive change. Distress is usually destructive and leads to negative adaptations. How do you tell the difference and how do you cope with the negative?
    • More specifically, since the pandemic hit, we are seeing depression and anxiety levels on college campuses beyond anything ever encountered before. There’s a fine line between iron-willed resilience/mental toughness and a total lack of self-care. How do you differentiate between what’s good and what’s bad for your growth and your mental and physical health when it comes to stress?
  •  Growth & Fear
    • “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” What is the value for you in trying hard things? Likewise, what is the risk?
    • There’s a scene and a song in the movie-version of Dear Evan Hansen that just crushed me. Super-everything and college-bound resume’ queen Alana Beck sings the lyrics:
      • “Spot the girl who stays in motion. Spins so fast so she won't fall. (World's spinning so fast, spinning so fast). She's built a wall of her achievements. To keep out the question, without it, is she worth anything at all?
      • Thinking about the high achievers you know (and that we happen to be), to what extent do you think teachers/professors, friends, and parents should be concerned about WHERE that motivation is coming from? What are the questions they should be asking?
  • Locus of Control and “Good” vs. “Bad”
    • Locus of Control is a concept that helps us better understand to what extent we feel we either self-direct or have our lives dictated to us by others. Internal=self. External=others
    • If you get reeeally honest with yourself, where would you say your desire to be successful comes from? Internal or external pressures? What difference does it make?
  • Purpose
    • Optimal growth is both multi-faceted and purpose-driven. Motivational speaker Eric Thomas talks about “the power of your why.” However, lots of motivated people are TOLD their why by others or by society. That causes them to pursue majors they don’t want, relationships they don’t need, and take jobs they don’t love...all in the name of pleasing others. What are some strategies you can or have used to take ownership of your WHY?
• Sprouts and Seeds
  • This week:
    • Make a list of exactly 3 goals you want to accomplish in the next 12 months
    • Examine each. Next to the goal, record your WHY behind it
    • Consider the possibility that even “good” things can come from toxic places. And toxic things can spring from otherwise good places.