The Cracking Open podcast has an exciting upcoming episode where, for the first time, I host a dual interview with Elizabeth Lesser and Mary Pipher to discuss a particular and profound issue for women (stay tuned for its release on November 21st!)

Leading up to that episode's release, I am re-releasing their initial interviews with me so you can soak in their deep wisdom and charm. You can listen to Elizabeth's episode here. Whether it's the first time you've listened or a refresh, you are in for a treat.

This week's episode on the Cracking Open podcast is someone who I would consider a cherished guide in my personal and professional journey over the last two decades.

Mary Pipher, Ph.D. is a truly extraordinary psychologist who specializes in women, trauma, and the effect of culture on our mental health.

I first came across Mary's work twenty years ago while teaching at an all-girls school in San Francisco. I felt lost on how to best provide emotional support to my students when they felt left out with friends, insecure about their bodies, navigating challenges in their home lives, or struggling with feeling worthy. A fellow teacher recommended that I read a book called Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher.

When I read her words below, I knew I had found the right guidance:

“Girls struggle with mixed messages:
Be beautiful, but beauty is only skin deep.
Be sexy, but not sexual.
Be honest, but don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
Be independent, but be nice.
Be smart, but not so smart you threaten boys.”

Ever since, I have read anything and everything that Mary has written and it has always been a compassionate, wise, and safe place to land. And because of this, I am pinching myself that I got to have this conversation with her and share it with all of you.

Mary graduated in Cultural Anthropology from the University of California at Berkeley and received her Ph.D. from the University of Nebraska in Clinical Psychology. She was a Rockefeller Scholar in Residence at Bellagio and has received two American Psychological Association Presidential Citations, one of which she returned to protest psychologists’ involvement in enhanced interrogations at Guantánamo and other black sites.

She is a community organizer and activist for many causes and has authored 11 books including 4 New York Times bestsellers. Her latest book is A Life in Light, a luminous new memoir that taps into a cultural moment to offer wisdom, hope, and insight into loss and change.

In today’s episode, Mary reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect, solve every problem, or "fix" anyone. She also helps us remember that we live in a universe filled with love and light that surrounds us and is available to us, at all times.

I will leave you with her wise words:

“I think a wonderful life doesn't mean that a person hasn't had a lot of tragedy. It means they've had a big, rich life where they’ve been able to experience a really wide range of emotions and people and adventures and learnings of all different kinds.

And of course, in terms of loving fiercely, the price for loving fiercely is the pain of goodbye, but I would always choose to love fiercely.”


Love,
Molly

Learn more about Mary Pipher and her work here


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October 19th marked the 13th anniversary of my dad’s passing. It was a deeply profound day, as I experienced a revelation about my grief.

I realized that to reach a healthier place with my grief, I needed to engage with it differently. For the past 13 years, I’ve held onto a level of consciousness regarding my grief that requires transformation. I’ve been wearing a cloak of identification with the narrative of someone who lost their parents too young, feeling like a victim and grappling with anger over both of my parents’ deaths (my mom passed away five years ago).

However, last Saturday, I realized to reach the next level of healing, I needed to cultivate a different relationship with my grief and my dad. While I’m unsure exactly what this new relationship looks like, I set an intention that day to let go and surrender, shifting from the mindset of “this happened to me” to a perspective of “this happened for me.” I aspire for my grief to embody more light than darkness, and to serve as a teacher rather than a burden. I want it to guide me toward humility and deeper wisdom. When grief resurfaces and I feel the
sadness and loss in my bones, I wish to embrace it through my tears or screams, but not to identify solely with it.

I share this journey because one woman who has profoundly influenced my understanding of grief is Elizabeth Lesser. I discovered her work around 11 years ago, shortly after my dad’s death, when I read her book Broken Open. Every word resonated deeply and reassured me that I could survive this loss. This book radically changed my life, and I often gift it to those going through difficult transitions.

The Cracking Open podcast has an exciting upcoming episode where, for the first time, I host a dual interview with Elizabeth and Mary Pipher to discuss a particular and profound issue for women (stay tuned for its release on November 21st!)

Leading up to that episode's release, I will re-release their initial interviews with me so you can soak in their deep wisdom and charm. Whether it's the first time you've listened or a refresh, you are in for a treat.

Elizabeth has touched millions through her bestselling books, including Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, The Human Story Changes, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow and Marrow: Love, Loss & What Matters Most.

She co-founded the Omega Institute, a retreat and conference center in Rhinebeck, NY, dedicated to holistic education and social change movements, attracting over 30,000 participants annually. In 2008, she also helped Oprah Winfrey produce a 10-week online seminar based on Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, which reached more than 8 million viewers worldwide. Elizabeth is a frequent Oprah’s Soul Series host and has appeared on Super Soul Sunday.

Please enjoy this incredible conversation. Grab a cup of tea, a notebook, and a pen, and take this hour to soak in Elizabeth’s storytelling, wisdom, and insights.

Love,
Molly


Learn more about Elizabeth Lesser and her work here


The new 6-Month Coaching Group begins November 6th!
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At 21 years old, Lindsay Valentine was told that his father had pancreatic cancer. Towards the end of his father's fight with his cancer, his mother was shockingly also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Within 6 months of one another, Lindsay lost both of his parents to this heartbreaking disease.

Lindsay joins us on the Cracking Open podcast this week to honor his parents' memory and share his journey with this traumatic life experience and what it taught him.

It is an unimaginable story for any family, let alone a family of four boys aged 18, 20, 22, and 24. At their young age, they should have been thinking about high school prom, college football games, going to parties, and creating resumes for their first jobs. Instead, these four young men became caretakers for their dying parents and one another.

As the oldest brother, Lindsay quickly stepped in as the protector, helper, and savior. Not only did he do this out of deep love for his family, but in retrospect he recognized that taking on this role also distracted him from dealing directly with his own immense grief, sadness, pain, and vulnerability. But that shield only delayed the reckoning of his grief and he has since acknowledged that real healing occurs when we allow space for our grief, pain, and fears.

He now knows that sharing his feelings with his loved ones brings them closer together, versus the dysfunction and separation that occurred when he worked hard to keep his feelings at bay.

In this episode, Lindsay leans into his vulnerability and commitment to connection by sharing that he is still not okay more than a year after losing his parents and that THAT is okay. He remains in a constant battle with his grief but knows that these losses have taught him to be more vulnerable, to ask for help, and most importantly – to love.

Experiencing the death of his mom and dad has reminded him that we only have this one life and it can drastically change in the blink of an eye – so call that friend or family member, follow your joy in everything that you do, and don’t be afraid to have the tough conversations with the people you love most. Overall, Lindsay’s message is that there is always hope to be found, even in the darkest of times.

Bill Valentine, Lindsay's father, passed away on October 21, 2022.
Jessica Valentine, Lindsay's mother, passed away on March 17, 2023.

Lindsay's parents were two of the most loving, selfless, heart-centered, passion-filled humans I've ever known, and both were dear personal friends of mine. This episode is dedicated to their memory and to the burgeoning lives of their four beautiful sons.

Listen to Bill Valentine's podcast interview with Molly as he discusses what having terminal cancer has taught him about the true meaning of life. Originally aired on February 17, 2022, it remains our most downloaded podcast episode.

Love,
Molly


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