Blinded by what appeared to be special psychic gifts and years of professional accreditation, Lauren Geertsen fell hard for an energy worker who manipulated her emotionally, financially and spiritually. A predator who had many other victims simultaneously. This is the story of a whistleblower who risked it all and lost almost everything to expose him. Check out Lauren's book: The Scorpion and the Lion Find and support Lauren: YT: @LaurenGeertsen IG: @body_connection_coach
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Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:34 Spiritual truth paradox 00:05:30 Defining grooming 00:09:11 When someone is unable to give informed consent 00:11:32 Lauren's upbringing and how it laid the groundwork for future ab*se 00:16:16 How religious and purity culture prevents awareness of signs of a predator 00:22:14 S*xual repression in Purity Culture 00:26:06 Going from one end of the spectrum to the other 00:28:04 A divine pathway and higher purpose 00:31:26 The signs of grooming 00:36:50 Spiritual gaslighting 00:40:54 Using spiritual power as a manipulation tactic 00:45:20 Figuring out the truth 01:00:20 Using trauma as an excuse for toxic and bad behavior 01:04:13 Having to dissolve the business 01:08:17 Friendships during the healing journey 01:12:37 Being an example for others on the same journey 01:18:19 How Lauren is doing today 01:22:25 Linda, listen 01:23:07 Outro Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

One of the most sacred tenants of The Order, a fundamentalist polygamous break of sect of the mainstream mormon/LDS church, is living polygamy. Nephi knew he was gay, but hid it most of his life because living authentically was never an option for him. He was essentially assigned a wife at a young age and had 7 children before he realized he couldn’t pretend anymore. His father, who had 14 wives and over 160 children was pushing him to take another wife, so he came out to him. Nephi was told he was gay for various reasons such as eating too much chicken and he needed to stay faithful lest he go to the depths of Hell. Thankfully, he didn’t listen, got out and isn’t hiding his true self any longer.

Click here to watch on YouTube Connect with Nephi! FB: Nephi Robinson If you or someone you love has left polygamy and needs assistance, please reach out to "Holding Out HELP" at 801-548-3492 or visit their website at www.holdingouthelp.org
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Chapter Markers: 00:00:00 Intro 00:02:13 Nephi's polygamous family dynamic 00:03:59 Oldest of 13 kids in immediate family- parentification at 8-10 yrs old 00:05:40 Women are responsible for the chiIdren and income 00:08:42 ChiId labor in The Order 00:11:22 What Nephi's dad Daniel was like 00:15:03 Pre-destined families 00:20:28 Dance cards for betrothals at 16 yrs old 00:26:30 Allowed genres and dance styles for the dances 00:28:08 Being gay was not an option 00:29:55 TW: suic*de ideation 00:32:28 The struggles of being gay with no support 00:34:07 Daniel chose Nephi's college major 00:38:35 The courting process of The Order- no dating till engaged 00:41:53 Nephi's engagement 00:43:28 Plural wives get to make up their last name 00:45:09 Getting married & being pressured to take another wife 00:52:07 Nephi's mom's medical negligence 00:58:19 How Daniel reacted when Nephi came out to him 01:06:45 Nephi's family's reaction to him coming out and leaving 01:09:22 Conversion therapy? 01:15:21 When Nephi left to start a new life, what was it like? 01:18:35 How Nephi is doing now 01:20:28 Linda, Listen Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Amanda Rae ( @TheAmandaRaeGrant ) shares 3 of her most prominent and shocking post-cult relationships, full of betrayal and manipulation. High control groups, by design, eliminate intuition, manipulate people into doing things they don’t want to do, and make them believe they are freely choosing that lifestyle. This can also happen in relationships. It’s far too common for cult survivors to fall prey to people who can take advantage of their vulnerabilities. Check out Shelise’s horror stories on Amanda’s channel Find and support Amanda! YouTube: ​⁠​⁠ @TheAmandaRaeGrant IG: @amandaraegrant If you or someone you love has left polygamy and needs assistance, please reach out to "Holding Out HELP" at 801-548-3492 or visit their website at www.holdingouthelp.org

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Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:00 Are bad relationships due to daddy issues? 00:06:43 What it was like growing up in The Order 00:14:29 Living in different mental worlds 00:16:22 The impact of a parent's prejudice on their chiIdren 00:18:14 Issues from the cult that lingered after getting out 00:21:11 Amanda's box of clothes 00:22:54 Cult men and narcissistic tendencies 00:25:01 Amanda's still in the cult mindset after leaving 00:27:32 Spiritual manipulation in relationships 00:29:00 A narcissist's lack of empathy and awareness 00:33:13 Leaving narcissistic relationships vs leaving The Order 00:36:35 Continuously in bad relationships after leaving a cult 00:37:28 Amanda's 2nd toxic relationship 00:45:20 Amanda's toxic behavior 00:51:19 Amanda's 3rd toxic relationship 00:52:02 Issues with love-bombing 00:54:21 Amanda's qualifications for relationships now 00:55:41 Amanda's most recent relationship 00:58:26 Little things that add up 01:01:09 The last straw 01:11:17 The good that came of it and meeting Winston's ex 01:14:00 The saga continues... in court 01:27:37 Emotional intelligence and accountability 01:31:45 What helped Shelise? 01:35:09 Listen, Linda 01:35:47 Outro Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Lindsey Williams of the hit Amazon Prime docu-series, “Shiny Happy People”, was an eager 18 year old when she was hand-picked by cult leader Bill Gothard to work at IBLP headquarters. After grooming her as one of his “Gothard Girls” Gothard would get too close in his one-on-one prayer sessions with her. After being kicked out for kissing a boy, forced to do free labor and write an apology letter to his parents, she finally reconnected with her love. Bill then tried to sabotage her engagement so he could have her in “single years of service” for longer. Watch pt. 1 of Lindsey's interview here

IG: ⁠@thecultchronicles⁠

⁠Lindsey’s hair and make up page⁠⁠ Lindsey’s link tree

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Chapter Marks

00:04:06 How Lindsey ended up at the Training Center 00:05:36 IBLP's "Umbrella of Authority" 00:08:46 Arriving at the Training Center 00:10:15 The free labor she was expected to do 00:14:14 How her health was negatively impacted by the trauma 00:20:33 Lindsey decided to sneakily reconnect with Bryce 00:28:10 Bill Gothard personally tried to sabotage her marriage 00:39:00 "Single service" years? 00:44:31 They finally got the green light to court each other 00:52:16 The beautiful path to Lindsey's new career 01:05:26 What Lindsey wishes they would have aired in the "Shiny Happy People" documentary 01:09:17 What brings Lindsey joy now 01:11:52 Linda, listen

Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara

**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Today we are joined by Lindsey Williams of the hit Amazon Prime docu-series, “Shiny Happy People”, exposing the Duggars and Bill Gothard’s IBLP practices. Lindsey dives deep into the lack of education growing up with Gothard’s ATI religious home school program, how she wanted to leave her ab*sive household at 18 and join the famous Gothard (who was seen as a prophet) at head quarters, and how Gothard began to groom her as one of his “Gothard Girls” once he had her alone. IG: @thecultchronicles Lindsey’s hair and make up page Lindsey’s link tree Support Shelise Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast

Our Merch!

Patreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness

Venmo @sheliseann

Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast

Website CultsToConsciousness.com

Find Shelise on Social media!

Instagram @cultstoconsciousness

Host Instagram @sheliseann

TikTok @cults.to.consciousness

Twitter @cultstocon Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:37 IBLP and Bill Gothard, explained 00:07:28 Modesty rules for women in the IBLP 00:11:02 Lindsey explains her home school education with the Words of Wisdom booklets 00:13:19 What Lindsey feels now is lacking from the Words of Wisdom 00:16:23 What the day to day education was like 00:21:11 Did Homeschool ATI-ers have to take a state test? 00:25:04 How Lindsey's parents reacted to the changes made at home 00:28:06 Does Lindsey feel she had a happy chiIdhood? 00:35:50 Lindsey plays a recording of her 18 year old self giving her Testimony at head quarters 00:47:52 Corporal pun*shment is encouraged in the IBLP 00:52:58 How Lindsey ended up at head quarters with Bill Gothard 00:58:18 Gothard preys on Lindsey 01:15:51 Gothard inserts himself as Lindsey's spiritual father (tries to get her mole removed) 01:19:32 Lindsey accidentally had some men sent away, and she was blamed 01:26:17 How Lindsey met her husband (and why he was sent home by Gothard) 01:33:46 After "the kiss" Lindsey is sent to a Training Center 01:36:52 Linda, listen Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Joined in the studio is friend, comedian, and ex-IBLP “cult kid” Davey Jackson. Having spent his childhood homeschooled by his mother, at 12, his parents decided to incorporate Bill Gothard’s practices into his education. As a form of punishment for having a girlfriend, at 16, Davey was sent to an intense IBLP training center. Instead of correcting his “bad” behavior, Davey further rebelled, which ultimately led him to spend 7 days in the Prayer Room, the center’s solitary confinement, which only had a bible. Davey recounts his losing-touch-with-reality experience, his attempts at escape, and now, all of these years later, going back to the center where the source of his decades of living with trauma began. (Also, Jonathan takes his first shot at a solo interview.)

Watch this episode on YouTube here Youtube: @daveyjaxx Instagram: @daveyjax Davey Jackson - The Cult Kid | Full Comedy Special Watch our first interview with Davey Here Shelise and Lindsey Williams interviewed by Davey

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Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast

Website CultsToConsciousness.com

Find Shelise on Social media!

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Host Instagram @sheliseann

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Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara

**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**
Chapter Marks 00:04:15 What the Shiny Happy People docu-series was like for those that grew up in the IBLP 00:06:47 IBLP explained 00:09:50 What homeschool and ATI was like for Davey growing up 00:11:09 When Davey started questioning his religious home school education 00:12:47 Davey's parents send him to an education center as a form of punishment 00:16:06 Davey was not allowed to listen to music 00:19:08 What it was like for Davey at the IBLP Training Center 00:23:35 What led Davey to solitary confinement at 16 00:25:51 Similarities within IBLP, IFB, and the "troubled teen" industry 00:27:40 Solitary confinement 00:28:34 Davey tries to break out from the window 00:32:36 The rest of Davey's time at the Training Center 00:34:45 Coming back broken 00:36:06 Davey confronts his parents afterward 00:38:52 Davey using drugs and alcohol to escape and disassociate 00:45:01 When things started looking brighter for Davey 00:46:40 Davey revisits the Training Center all of these years later 00:58:37 It hits Davey once he sees the prayer room windows

With immense pressure being one of the sons of the FLDS prophet Warren Jeffs, Ammon would do anything to earn the approval of his father. When he was finally “worthy enough” to be called to the holy land (YFZ Ranch in Texas), he was worked up to 22 hours per day doing hard labor for the church. Assuming Warren truly spoke for God, when he prophesied that the government wanted to come take away the chiIdren, the people were only further convinced he was a prophet considering the 300 police who did just that. Ammon explains how the raid was traumatic for all involved and what it was that finally opened his eyes to who his father really was. Connect with Ammon! IG @ammonjeffs Ammon’s Book Texas Raid If you or someone you love has left polygamy and needs assistance, please reach out to "Holding Out HELP" at 801-548-3492 or visit their website at www.holdingouthelp.org

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Patreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness

Venmo @sheliseann

Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast

Website CultsToConsciousness.com

Find Shelise on Social media!

Instagram @cultstoconsciousness

Host Instagram @sheliseann

TikTok @cults.to.consciousness

Twitter @cultstocon

Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara

**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Chapter Marks 00:03:43:05 Ammon's childhood as Warren Jeffs' son 00:05:04:21 Warren marries his father, Rulon Jeffs’ wives after dies 00:06:04:08 How many chiIdren did Warren have? 00:06:45:12 Warren becomes prophet during Ammon's chiIdhood 00:07:37:16 FLDS prophet immortality 00:09:57:11 Crisis after Rulon's passing 00:10:58:20 Ammon's father becomes prophet 00:12:37:08 Warren implements changes 00:14:07:18 Warren stops major ordinances 00:15:16:20 FLDS members start to disappear 00:17:43:04 Ammon's mom's health declines 00:22:42:05 Ammon is called to move to the Texas Ranch 00:26:45:08 Ammon's job on the Ranch 00:27:49:05 Warren orders a large compound to be built 00:29:27:18 Were Warren's chiIdren treated differently on the Ranch? 00:31:26:10 Religious pun*shments and atonement 00:34:35:11 Was Warren Jeffs' just putting on a show? 00:36:46:23 Warren Jeffs' is caught by law enforcement 00:38:38:06 The Texas Raid 00:39:20:20 Allegations of abuse from a resident at the Ranch 00:41:30:05 Who called CPS? 00:43:40:07 The Raid in a chiId's point of view 00:47:17:04 Only those worthy enough can be on temple grounds 00:49:18:18 Evidence found 00:50:32:04 After the raid 00:51:49:19 Ammon in charge at the boys camp 00:53:05:14 Living conditions at the boys camp 00:54:44:02 Birthday at the boys camp 00:56:20:14 Sneaking off the boys camp at night 00:57:37:17 Going back to the FLDS ranch in Texas 00:59:15:13 Communication with Warren in the months after the raid 01:00:00:18 New requirements and revelations from Warren while in prison 01:03:36:22 Warren's information control from prison 01:08:00:00 Becoming an apostate 01:09:37:00 Warren starts meetings again 01:10:30:10 Warren excludes Ammon and most members from the meetings 01:11:49:06 Ammon's sisters leave 01:12:41:11 Warren's most recent revelations 01:14:50:19 Ammon's youngest sister visits apostate family members 01:17:53:07 TW: SA 01:19:03:13 Ammon learns the truth 01:20:53:12 TW: CSA 01:23:44:08 How Ammon is doing now 01:28:57:20 Linda, listen!