In today's episode, we're diving into the interdependence of purpose, belonging, and uniqueness as discussed in Chapter 3 of The Spirit of Work. We'll explore how a sense of purpose fuels motivation and satisfaction in the workplace, the paradoxical relationship between belonging and individuality, and the essential roles of self-awareness and service in cultivating a strong, supportive work environment.

Purpose in Work:
Purpose is a powerful motivator. It doesn’t always come from a passion for the work itself; it can stem from the impact on family, community, or contributing to something larger. Purpose helps people feel that their work matters, even in difficult conditions.

The Paradox of Belonging and Uniqueness:
Belonging and uniqueness form a kind of paradox. To belong, one must conform enough to be accepted by the group, but to be unique, one must be free to express their individual identity. When individuals are free to be themselves, they are more likely to feel that they belong and to willingly embrace certain group norms. Without appreciation for unique, diverse contributions, people can become demoralized, lose their sense of purpose, and feel alienated. In contrast, when their ideas and contributions are celebrated, they feel a sense of belonging, are recognized as valuable members of the organization, and are encouraged to contribute fully.

Self-Worth and Acknowledgment:
If you're constantly seeking external fulfillment and cannot find it, it may be because you are inadvertently alienating the validation that would otherwise come naturally. External validation, though it may not come constantly from everyone, often arrives in meaningful ways when it’s not actively pursued.

Service and Self-Awareness Development:
When we engage in service, we cultivate appreciation and dissolve any sense of entitlement. Through serving, we come to see ourselves as both resourced and resourceful. Service helps us understand our boundaries and limitations while also providing opportunities for latent potential to emerge.

The more self-aware we become, the more attuned we are to others. The more we serve, the more our true self develops. As we express our authentic self, others feel inspired to develop theirs. This positive energy can draw people in, helping them recognize these qualities within themselves. However, the opposite can also happen: some people can also see that in you and want it for themselves and think that by destroying you, they're going to get it.

Would you like to learn more about this fascinating chapter? Get The Spirit of Work: Timeless Wisdom, Current Realities, available on Amazon.

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The Role of Accountability in Leadership

Bio:
Michael Timms is an internationally recognized speaker, consultant, and best-selling author who helps leaders inspire greatness in their teams. He wrote How Leaders Can Inspire Accountability, praised by leadership coach Marshall Goldsmith, and his first book, Succession Planning That Works, was highly regarded for its insights on developing talent in organizations. Timms leads Avail Leadership, helping organizations build high-performance cultures, and enjoys spending time with family and exploring the wilderness.

Links:

• Michael’s TED Talk: TED Link
• YouTube: YouTube Channel
• LinkedIn: LinkedIn Profile
• Website: Michael Timms Website

Quotes:

• “You can be an awesome leader in many different respects, but if you fear conflict, you're going to create chaos.”
• “The best leaders care for the people who report to them as much as they care about results.”

Episode Highlights:
Michael Timms shares leadership lessons from his childhood, early encounters with leadership, and his professional journey. He discusses the key role of accountability in leadership and provides insights into how personal experiences shaped his leadership philosophy.

Childhood Incidents:
Michael learned emotional control from a childhood skiing incident when his mother challenged him to stay calm after a bad crash. During a two-year mission with his church, Michael gained leadership experience, making mistakes but learning valuable lessons in the process.

Influential Groups:
Michael credits his parents for shaping his values. His entrepreneurial father was driven and accountable, while his mother, strong-willed and intelligent, instilled in him a love for writing. Both parents pushed him to excel, influencing his approach to leadership.

Groups that Michael Chose to Belong To:
Michael’s leadership skills were developed as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where servant leadership, without power dynamics, is practiced. This experience has deeply influenced his leadership style, focusing on voluntary collaboration.

Temperament and Personality:
Michael describes himself as having a Type A personality but has developed empathy over time. He believes that leaders must balance their drive for results with genuine care for their people.

Cultural Epiphanies:
Michael was surprised to find some leaders who did not hold one-on-one meetings with their teams, a practice he values highly. He emphasizes the importance of hearing every voice and considering all opinions in leadership.

Soapbox Moment:
Michael encourages listeners to watch his TED Talk on leadership accountability, How to Claim Your Leadership Power, and to explore further through his book and his company, Avail Leadership.

What Brings Out the Best in Michael?
Michael thrives when working with organizations that are committed to advancing their leadership skills. He enjoys helping leaders stand out by improving their ability to inspire and lead effectively.

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In this episode, we explore capacity building, what it means, the mindset needed, and how to effectively build team capacity.

Capacity building empowers individuals and groups with the skills to tackle complex tasks and work toward a shared vision. However, it’s essential not to fall into the trap of thinking only the leader or a facilitator can drive this growth. While facilitators can help, true and lasting capacity is built when the entire group contributes to creating their desired future together.

Attitudes Needed to Build Team Capacity:

• Communication dynamics that encourage and support
• Willingness to listen, ask questions, check understanding, and contribute without judgment
• Desire to serve, empathy, and patience
• Willingness to address challenges and support others in addressing them

Example 1: Help Each Other Out
I recently worked on a project with a study circle that included a business owner facing challenges after opening a store. She had to manage more staff, deal with absences, train employees, and balance family life, as her husband worked night shifts. Although the study circle provided important support, she worried about neglecting her children. We discussed her desired outcomes and obstacles, and together we found a potential solution: hiring a nearby teenager seeking work experience to watch her kids during the study circle. This could foster a positive relationship between the teen and the children, providing mutual support. However, the solution depends on various factors, like the teen and parents agreeing and ensuring good chemistry. With mutual care, the group can build a supportive, capacity-building environment.

Example 2: Work Without Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy
When working toward a goal, especially in project management, teams can feel drained by the details and setbacks, leading to exhaustion and a lack of motivation. If a team appears apathetic or fatigued, what they need is fun, food, and informal interaction. Seriousness and fatigue can be relieved through team-building exercises, but simply gathering for food and laughter can greatly improve morale. A team not functioning well is often one where no one is smiling or laughing. Humor is a key indicator of a healthy, capacity-building team. So, if humor and joy are missing, it’s essential to help bring them back to foster a supportive and effective environment.

Example 3: Create Opportunities to Open Up
Managers understand the importance of 1-on-1 conversations but often struggle with implementation because they approach them as problem-solving sessions rather than opportunities to connect. These meetings should focus on appreciating the individual and discussing their personal and professional experiences through simple questions about challenges and successes. The goal is to build trust and relationships, not to give feedback or solve issues. For larger teams, managers should meet with supervisors, while smaller teams benefit from more frequent 1-on-1s. Regularly scheduled meetings every few months foster a supportive environment, preventing problems and enhancing team dynamics.

Example 4: Be Interested, Not Interesting
Being genuinely interested helps the team move toward a desired goal. When you become absorbed in your interest in the team’s progress, you naturally rise in their eyes as someone with capacity, credibility, and respect. The more you try to insist on your greatness, the less impactful you appear. The more you help resource the team, the more your esteem in their eyes grows.

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Bio:
Rhonda Moret is the Founder and CEO of Elevated Diversity, recognized for her leadership in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) and health equity. She has spent over a decade helping organizations develop equitable practices to benefit both workplaces and communities. A first-generation college graduate, Rhonda started her career at a multicultural ad agency, later becoming a communications strategist for major brands like Universal and Nike Golf. Often the only woman and person of color in her roles, she faced significant challenges. These experiences led her to establish Elevated Diversity in 2017, aiming to help organizations implement sustainable DEI strategies. The company’s innovative approach has attracted clients such as Berkeley Symphony, Boston Beer, and Homeland Security.

Links:

• Website: www.elevateddiversity.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhondamoret/

Quote:
“So much of who we are today and how we present ourselves to the world is based on all of these situations and occurrences that we have lived through.”

Episode Highlights:
In this episode, Rhonda discusses the impact of racial makeup and background on one's perspective, drawing from her personal experiences and insightful reflections on childhood experiences. She delves into the significance of diversity in personal and professional contexts, shedding light on formative incidents from her own childhood and the value of reinforcing respect in various settings.

Childhood Experiences:
Rhonda grew up in a tight community of Creole families. As an adolescent, Rhonda and her family moved to a different state, which brought it to her attention that she was different from other children. Not only was she different visually, but her perspective and point of view were different from the other children.

Influential Groups:
Rhonda’s family did not have a lot of money growing up, and Rhonda realized that if she wanted to move beyond that social class, she needed to develop a strong work ethic. She was never satisfied and was always looking for the next thing to work on. Religiously, Rhonda grew up Catholic, which gave her some sense of identity.

Cultural Influences:
Over the years, Rhonda has gravitated towards helping and supporting women find opportunities, especially where there are pay disparities. Helping women has opened Rhonda to new experiences, and she has learned things about herself that she didn’t know before.

Temperaments and Personality:
Curiosity has always been a part of Rhonda’s life. She remembers growing up and, together with her brother, spending hours reading encyclopaedias that their parents had bought for them. All the effort was in pursuit of curing their curiosity. Rhonda was born in the '60s, and she was brought up in a traditional way; they were not allowed to speak out of turn. Today, Rhonda has become outspoken, and sometimes she has to rein herself in when responding in certain situations and conversations.

Cultural Epiphanies:
Growing up, Rhonda attended Catholic schools where respect for those in authority was mandatory. For instance, if a nun walked into their class, they would all stand up and greet her. When she moved to a public school, she realized that kind of respect wasn’t there, which was disheartening for her.

Soapbox Moment:
Rhonda’s organization helps other organizations create a workplace where people feel they belong. If you are looking to create a workplace culture where respect is valued or want to solve issues around it, Rhonda invites you to check out their website.

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Understandings for Improved Intercultural Communication at Work

Episode Highlights:
Effective intercultural communication is crucial for fostering a harmonious and productive workplace. Culture is a component of personality, and it can significantly affect workplace understanding and relationships. Each culture has its own rules and expectations, and both existing staff and newcomers need to learn these rules and expectations to harmonize and function effectively at work. To avoid miscommunication or feeling insulted, consider that a behavior could be cultural, related to personal performance or wellness, or a combination of these. This discussion explores how to improve intercultural communication at work.

Understanding Cultural Identity:
When you experience a new culture, do you feel connected to it, or are you afraid of being associated with it? This is what we refer to as cultural identity. Some people are deeply rooted in their own culture to the extent that they feel they shouldn’t associate with other cultures. Others are open to experiencing different cultures and seeing what they can learn from them. It is important to note that connecting with another culture doesn’t erode our original culture.

Cultural identity can be viewed from two perspectives: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

• A fixed mindset sees association with a different culture as disloyal and something impossible.
• A growth mindset views questioning cultural beliefs, traditions, and values as a natural part of life and a way to expand our repertoire and deepen our understanding. It encourages loyalty to one's group while also allowing for critical reflection on its values.

Direct vs. Indirect Communication Styles at Work:
Communication styles can be broadly categorized as direct or indirect. If two direct communicators interact, they can understand each other easily. However, challenges arise when a direct communicator interacts with an indirect communicator. The answers provided may not seem satisfactory to the direct communicator.

If a manager asks, “How many employees will be affected by the change of schedule?” A direct answer might be a specific number or percentage. An indirect response, however, might be something like, “Our employees change in all aspects of their work.”

A direct communicator might perceive the indirect communicator as avoidant or even incompetent. Indirect communicators, however, tend to focus on the relationship and emotional context at stake. Their approach aims to maintain the integrity of the relationship, harmonize expectations, and provide answers without causing anyone to make a mistake or lose face.

To improve communication with indirect responders, try rephrasing your questions. For example:

• “If I wanted to know how many employees will be affected by the schedule change, what would I need to do first?”
• “If I wanted to know how many employees will be affected by the change of schedule, who would you suggest I speak to?”

These types of questions allow the indirect responder to provide an answer without feeling the need to be right or wrong. For direct responders, you could say:

• “I want to know how many people will be affected by the schedule change and what approach would work best.”

This approach opens the conversation for more information and makes the responder feel their input and time are valued.

In summary, direct communication values getting the answer quickly, while indirect communication values maintaining the relationship and avoiding causing loss of face. Understanding these styles and cultural identities can significantly enhance intercultural communication in the workplace.

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Bio:
Amber Ontiveros is the CEO and owner of a change management firm. She is a longtime civil rights advocate, having served in advisory roles at the US Department of Transportation during both the Bush and Obama Administrations. She now runs Ontiveros and Associates, which specializes in change management, policy development, and executive coaching. Amber is the author of Heal the Four Wounds: A Guide to End Discord and Discrimination.

Links:

• LinkedIn: Amber Ontiveros
• Website: Heal the Four Wounds

Quotes:
"When you don't have people around you who are educated, you don't know what your options are."

Episode Highlights:
In this episode, Amber shares her powerful journey, from growing up Latina on a farm in Arizona to a near-death experience that led her to meet the "infinite creator." This awakening inspired her to explore consciousness and the neuroscience of unconscious bias. Amber teaches us about self-serving and "mini-me" biases, and how the brain's reticular activation system filters information based on existing beliefs. Her techniques offer practical steps for mindful listening and healing internal wounds. Listen to learn more.

Childhood Experiences:
Amber’s passion for management started in childhood. She vividly recalls playing with paper in their chicken coop as if she were an administrator. As an adolescent, Amber took a moot court class because it aligned with her personality traits—public speaking, analyzing situations, constructing arguments, and posing solutions.

Influential Groups:
Amber is a Mexican-American who grew up in Arizona and was the first in her family to attend college and graduate school, despite having no educational role models. She attended Lewis & Clark College, though her GPA could have earned her admission to more prestigious schools. In college, Amber became passionate about civil rights and policy. Her career began in a political campaign where a senator recognized her potential and helped her become a lobbyist. After working in the legislature and for a lobbying firm, Amber became a policy adviser at the Department of Transportation, where she helped develop federal civil rights laws that provided economic opportunities for women and minorities, including securing contracts in construction and professional services for transit agencies and government departments.

Personality and Temperament:
Amber describes herself as direct, honest, and fiery. After her near-death experience, she realized she had been engaging in self-loathing and bullying herself. Today, she has learned to accept and love her feelings, using techniques to change the thought patterns that once undermined her. She now sees her previously criticized traits as her best attributes.

Cultural Epiphanies:
In Amber’s culture, during Christmas, her family makes tamales, menudo, and pozole. Amber is baffled that many Americans dislike pigs' feet or cow stomach, which are delicacies in some Asian cultures and among the best foods she’s ever had.

What Brings Out the Best in Amber?
Amber enjoys working with organizations that are clear and authentic. This clarity makes it easier for her to help them achieve their goals.

Soapbox Moment:
Are you a CEO feeling unhappy and seeking tools to manage your emotions? Are you stuck in negative thought loops or imposter syndrome? Amber invites you to explore her website, her book, and her executive coaching program.

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The Justice Quotient

In this episode (inspired by page 49 of my book, The Spirit of Work), I share the three essential components that must be in place to find a just solution. The solution must consider everyone’s needs.

Here are the three Justice Quotients:

1. Diversity of perspectives must be included: If only one person has a voice, diverse viewpoints are missing. In situations where people are similar, actively seek other perspectives to gain different points of view. This ensures more just decisions, as relying on limited input can lead to incorrect conclusions.
2. Consult those most affected: Those most affected by a decision must be consulted. If the individual is vulnerable and cannot make decisions on their own, their guardian or caretaker should be involved in the consultation. The person closest to the job is often the expert, so either the affected individual or their closest support should provide input.
3. All stakeholders should be present when discussing the decision: In cases of a power imbalance, consider the rights and responsibilities of those most affected, and take into account the power dynamics. Ask those affected if the proposed resolutions would satisfy their concerns.

Real-Life Examples:

Example 1:
A manager aimed to build his team's capacity by training a lead hand to deliver safety presentations. However, the lead hand became flustered during training as the manager assumed what help was needed without consulting him. Realizing his mistake, the manager decided to trust the lead hand to deliver the next presentation independently. This trust empowered the lead hand, who excelled and received a standing ovation from the crew. The situation highlighted a shift in power dynamics, with the manager learning to prioritize the lead hand’s needs over his own methods.

Example 2:
A toxic manager in a different department repeatedly undermined the only female engineer responsible for safety, using misogynistic names and demeaning her input. Despite her warnings about compromised safety, no one spoke up due to fear of the bully. HR intervened after she filed a complaint, gathering evidence and perspectives. However, instead of disciplining the manager, HR held a meeting where he verbally attacked her. The power imbalance and lack of action led the female engineer and three top employees to quit, leaving the company weakened. In contrast, McDonald’s handles similar situations by immediately supporting employees and addressing aggressive customers, which resets power dynamics and protects workers. Justice requires protection for all parties involved; without it, employees are left vulnerable, and toxic behaviors worsen.

Example 3:
Two nurses were caring for an elderly patient when a non-medical relative insisted that a catheter be removed, aggressively demanding a nurse to do so. The nurse refused, citing the need for authorization, but eventually gave in due to intimidation. The commotion drew a second nurse, who was black, and the relative turned on her, using racist slurs and threatening a complaint. The black nurse explained the risks of removing the catheter without proper evaluation, but the relative continued his aggression before leaving. He filed a complaint, which deeply affected the black nurse. Her charge nurse and union assured her of support, and an investigation revealed that no harm had occurred, and both nurses were mistreated. The complaint was dismissed, and the relative was banned from the hospital. Justice was served, and the nurses felt protected.

If you carefully examine the examples above, you can clearly identify the injustices, how the justice quotient was used, and the consequences of not applying the justice quotients.

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Harnessing your potential and overcoming challenges

Amit's Bio:
Amit Chintan Ramlall helps leaders transform challenges into opportunities. His journey through autism led him to become an expert in the human mind and achievement. He aims to make a mark on the universe, not despite his challenges, but because of them. As a polymath who has read over 14,000 non-fiction books, Amit combines his knowledge with his insights to help individuals discover and manifest their life's purpose. Amit co-founded the Chintan Project, believing every person or business has a unique purpose that, when leveraged, can create a massive impact.

Dr. Kumar Ramlall's Bio:
Dr. Kumar Ramlall is an entrepreneur and medical specialist, co-founding the Chintan Project, InspiroMed Clinics, Inspiram Group, and Chinvest Group. With a strong academic and practical background, he helps clients solve complex issues that extend beyond traditional HR challenges.

Links:
Website: https://www.chintanproject.com/
Amit’s email: amir@chitanproject.com
Kumar’s email: kumar@chitanproject.com

Episode Highlights:
Amit exemplifies defying limitations, leaning into his inner strength and unique gift for helping leaders turn challenges into opportunities. Supported by his father, Dr. Kumar Ramlall, Amit communicates through a piece of cardboard with the alphabet on it. Together, they discuss embracing challenges, recognizing inner strength, and the importance of belief and support in shaping an individual’s journey.

Quotes:

• “If the road you're on isn't taking you where you'd rather be, change the path.” -Amit
• “If you don't like the movie, change the script.” - Kumar

Childhood Experiences:
Amit:
At four days old, Amit had surgery to remove a mass, facing intense pain due to insufficient anesthesia. He drew on his inner strength, believing that his purpose in the universe kept him going.

Kumar:
Kumar's father studied abroad when he was young, but his mother managed both parental roles well. They even used proceeds from the fruit harvests to pay for his father’s school fee overseas.

Influential Groups:
Amit:
Amit was born when his father was an academic physician. The model for them was how to solve Amit’s problems. After an assessment with a psychologist, his parents were told that he’d qualify for a teaching assistant in school, and in doing so, Amit’s father took the road less traveled.

Kumar:
Academics have always been a major pillar in Kumar’s life. As a child, his parents sent him to a private school even though his family's finances were extremely limited. The experience instilled a value of learning in Kumar. As a child, Kumar enjoyed teaching and helped his friends learn math.

Temperaments and Personality:
Amit believes he has developed humility over the years, seeking what is rather than what he wishes it to be. Both he and Kumar follow John Demartini's concept that every human has every trait, and they focus on recognizing and applying these traits in various forms.

Cultural Epiphanies:
Amit experienced a cultural clash when featured in a magazine focused on DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), expressing discomfort with being chosen based on a checklist. Kumar, meanwhile, continues to practice medicine while navigating the limitations imposed by regulatory bodies.

Soapbox Moment:
Amit and Kumar encourage exploring the Chintan Project, which aims to help people grow their businesses, exit, or buy, focusing on reigniting passion and purpose.

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