Episode 141 - Podcast Rewind - Jim Burns, Empty Nesting and Living With Your Adult Children

Back on episode 15 of Dad Space, Jim Burns was an early guest and I really love our conversation around preparing for the empty nest and how to effectively parent your adult children.

Episode 15 - https://youtu.be/mLu4tLCbj5k

Book: Finding Joy in the Empty Nest: Discover Purpose and Passion in the Next Phase of Life

When the kids are gone, you can discover a richer, deeper, and more fulfilling life than you ever imagined!

Whether you've been looking forward to it or dreading it, the experience of coming home to an empty nest brings with it a well of emotions, realizations, and one gigantic, all-consuming thought: Now what? In Finding Joy in the Empty Nest, Jim Burns combines his personal experiences with his expertise as a family educator to help you navigate your new life as an empty nester and find joy in this new season of life.

Rather than offering shallow suggestions of hobbies you should take up, Burns encourages you to actively pursue a fresh start, reinvent yourself, and thrive. Backed by extensive research and filled with interviews with fellow empty nesters, this book equips you with practical advice and timeless principles, teaching you how to:

• Change the relationship you once had with your children for the better
• Face big issues--including aging parents, finances, and kids returning home--with confidence
• Rekindle your fire and purpose to live with passion day by day

Amid Burns' wealth of know-how, you'll uncover what may be the most important takeaway of all: the best is yet to come.

Praise for Finding Joy in the Empty Nest:

"Jim Burns is smart, witty, grounded, and immeasurably practical. Whether you're getting close to the second half of marriage or are in the thick of it, you won't want to miss out on this fantastic book."

--Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

https://a.co/d/iZJqr3F

Book: Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out

Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition.

If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact.

Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including:

• My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong?
• Is it OK to give advice to my grown child?
• What's the difference between enabling and helping?
• What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home?
• What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood?
• How do I relate to my grown child's significant other?
• What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries?
• How can I support

Episode 140 - Books for Dads - The Most Human, Reconciling with My Father, Leonard Nimoy by Adam Nimoy

Adam was born during the Eisenhower administration to Leonard and Sandra Zoberblatt Nimoy. He attended the University Elementary School, a “lab school” run by UCLA, where he was subjected to numerous psychological experiments. The experimentation continued at UC Berkeley in the form of mind-altering substances from which he may, or may not, have fully recovered. In a state of absolute certainty, Adam attended Loyola Law School. He was wrong.

After seven years of practicing entertainment law and one moment of clarity, Adam left his life as an attorney to follow his passion of making films. After directing forty-five hours of network television, some of it sublime, some of it eminently unwatchable, Adam’s career plummeted due in large part to drug and alcohol addiction. On January 1, 2004, Adam entered 12-Step recovery hoping to achieve an attitude adjustment. This was a New Year’s resolution he knew he had to keep. For 8 years, he taught writing, directing and acting at the New York Film Academy and taught filmmaking at Beit T’Shuvah, an addiction treatment center where the residents kept him on the straight and narrow.

Book: The Most Human: Reconciling with My Father, Leonard Nimoy

"Engaging and immensely relatable, while at the same time offering deeply profound insights into Adam Nimoy's personal relationships, particularly with his famous father." — Eugene Roddenberry Jr., CEO Roddenberry Entertainment

Living with Dad was like living with a stranger— as a kid I often had trouble connecting and relating to him. But I was always proud of him. Even before Star Trek I'd see him popping up in bit roles on some of my favorite TV shows like Get Smart, Sea Hunt, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. And then one night he brought home Polaroids of himself in makeup and wardrobe for a pilot he was working on.

It was December 1964 and nobody had heard of Star Trek. Still, the eight-year-old me had watched enough Outer Limits and My Favorite Martian to understand exactly what I was looking at. Spock's popularity happened quickly, and soon the fan magazines were writing about dad's personal life, characterizing us as a "close family." But the awkwardness that defined our early relationship blossomed into conflict, sometimes smoldering, sometimes open and intense. There were occasional flashes of warmth between the arguments and hurt feelings— even something akin to love— especially when we were celebrating my father's many successes. The rest of the time, things between us were often strained.

My resentment towards my father kept building through the years. I wasn't blameless, I know that now, but my bitterness blinded me to any thought of my own contribution to the problem. I wanted things to be different for my children. I wanted to be the father I never had, so I coached Maddy's soccer, drove Jonah to music lessons, helped them with their homework— all the things dads are supposed to do. All the things I wanted to do. So what if my Dad and I had been estranged for years? I was living one day at a time. And then I got his letter. That marked a turning point in our lives, a moment that cleared the way for a new relationship between us.

Amazon link: https://amzn.to/3KvTi1s

https://adamnimoy.com/

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https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten

Episode 139 - A Birthday Reflection, My How Things Have Changed Around Here

As I sit alone on my birthday, the silence in the house feels both comforting and heavy. The vibrant chaos of family life has faded into quiet memories, and I find myself reflecting on the years gone by.

I remember the laughter echoing through these walls, the noise of birthday celebrations filled with balloons, cake, and the excitement of my kids. Each year, they would rush to make me cards, their little hands crafting heartfelt messages that warmed my heart. Now, those cards are tucked away in a box, cherished reminders of simpler times.

Today, there are no phone calls or surprise visits. I’ve become accustomed to this solitude, but it still stings a bit. I think about how quickly they grew up—how just yesterday we were celebrating their milestones together, and now they’re off chasing their own dreams. I’m proud of them, of course, but it’s hard not to feel a twinge of loneliness.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and look out the window at the familiar sights of our neighborhood. The world keeps turning, but my heart aches for the days when birthdays meant family gatherings and shared moments. I wonder if they’ll remember me today or if life has swept them up in its relentless pace.

As I sit here, I choose to embrace this quiet time. It’s an opportunity for reflection—an invitation to think about what’s next for me. Maybe this is a chance to explore new hobbies or reconnect with old friends. Perhaps it’s time to invest in myself as much as I invested in them.

I take a deep breath and remind myself that this phase of life is just another chapter. While the house may be empty today, my heart is full of love for my children and gratitude for the years we shared.

And who knows? Maybe next year will bring new traditions or surprises.For now, I'll celebrate quietly—grateful for the past and hopeful for what lies ahead. Happy birthday to me; it’s a new beginning in its own way.

___

https://dadspace.ca

music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270