You know how sometimes you will watch a great sporting event and people will say "You couldn't write something crazier than this!" But of course you could! Have you ever seen "Being John Malkovich", the movie where a guy discovers a portal in his office building into the mind of the actor John Malkovich and then, because he is an expert puppeteer, he is able to control Malkovich? That's way crazier than Game 6 of the 2011 World Series or whatever.

Anyway, despite the fact that the guy who directed "Being John Malkovich" acted in a sports movie THAT GETS DRAFTED IN THIS EPISODE, it's not a sports movie. But a bunch of movies are sports movies and here's an episode where we drafted them.

Hey, remember the song "21 Questions" by 50 Cent? I thought it was kind of mid but I think about Nate Dogg's chorus a lot. Honestly I don't really know that much about Nate Dogg's work besides that and like two other songs but they're really good. Never dug any deeper. Maybe I'm missing out. Maybe I'm not. Who cares. That's not even the name of this episode.

Anyway we didn't feel like drafting so this week, we took turns playing 20 Questions with prominent sportsballers of various sports. Hope people enjoy it and such. If not, we had fun making it, so that counts for something.

So we recorded this podcast on October 31st, but my computer was being weird so it's being uploaded now. It's like an artifact from the past. I sound so young, so naive, so unaware of the world in front of me. I'm nostalgic for that era, but that's the thing about nostalgia: you know the future and that's the luxury you're truly embracing. That or it's like the movie "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood", where (spoiler alert I guess) you're reasonably sure the movie isn't going to end with an extremely pregnant Sharon Tate being brutally murdered by the Manson Family and so you get to embrace the future that never was. Man, that movie rocks so much, I gotta watch it again now that like Margaret Qualley and Austin Butler and Sydney Sweeney are super famous.

Anyway, we did the draft we did last time but with basketball. Ten guys from ten countries but then we also decided to build eight-man rotations, so sixteen countries. Have fun.

Happy hockey season to all, and to all a happy hockey season! We're all excited, right? I don't know honestly, I guess it's cool. I watched the Blues game on Tuesday but, like, playoff baseball is going on. I like hockey but regular season hockey is not the reason October is the King Of Months.

Anyway, we drafted some six-man hockey teams where only one player per country is allowed to be drafted, which is why Nathan Walker comes up on this episode and, like, Ray Bourque doesn't.

The hosts of this show are many things. Men. Sports fanatics. Giant dorks. But they are truly, truly Americans. Not in a jingoistic, off-putting sense, but they are truly absorbed in American culture, the kind of thing Europeans scoff about but seem to actually enjoy. And truly, what is more American than talking about fast food?

In this episode, the boys draft their favorite fast food menu items to create a mini-restaurant of their own. Truly, the European mind cannot comprehend the levels on which these fellas are working.

In 2007, a bunch of people were drafted into Major League Baseball. Neither of our hosts, despite one being eligible, were drafted. He had a classmate drafted, which is good for him, but how does that help? It's not like he shared any of his signing bonus with me. Whatever, it's fine. I took revenge by not drafting him in this episode and instead drafting some guys that actually made the Majors. Several of whom were good.

The 1986 NBA Draft is one of the great what-if drafts of all-time. And while it is mostly remembered today for tragic reasons--the premature death of Len Bias and the squandered potential of Chris Washburn and Roy Tarpley--there were a lot of interesting contributors. So we shook up the formula a little bit. This time, instead of drafting the best available players with no consideration for the draft order, the boys are putting on their GM hats (GMs almost never wear hats, I'm pretty sure, at least not while they're working) and selecting on behalf of the top eight pick holders in the draft. Also we talked about Richard Petty's mayonnaise and black pepper sandwich for some reason.

It is very likely that in five months, we will either have our first woman president or our second president elected to non-consecutive terms. In either case, it makes the premise we're doing here feel uncomfortable. Like, is it less respectful to call Kamala Harris hot or not hot? They both seem bad in different ways. Also, the non-consecutive terms thing annoys me for apolitical reasons, as I get into during this episode.

We brought back resident Weird Draft Participant Tyler Cox and took turns drafting all 45 presidents by hotness. We also discuss the favorite movies of presidents and for some reason I bring up three separate songs by the 1990s--let's get back to this part--band Presidents of the United States of America. Are they a power pop band? A pop-rock band? An alternative rock band? Heck, on the basis of "Lump", a grunge band? I don't know. Cool songs, though.