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How can a parent who is alienated from their children strengthen the BOND they have with those children? By letting the kids know they TRUST them.

Kids want to be trusted. They are wired to respond to trust. Being trusted makes them feel good about themselves, and about the person who trusts them. Trust strengthens their BOND with the parent who trusts them. And -- children as young as 12 months start figuring out who they CAN and who they CAN'T TRUST.

That is what Professor Kang Lee, an expert in the study of lying and cheating, and his colleagues found after extensive research. He says using positive reinforcement like TRUST — instead of negative reinforcement , like threats - encourages kids to be honest, and cooperate. And more importantly, it develops a bond between parents and their children.

Prof. Lee is a global expert on the topic of deception, and has studied lying and cheating for the past 30 years. He is in the Department of Applied Psychology and Human Development at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education at the University of Toronto. He is the Tier 1 Canada Research Chair in Moral Development and Developmental Neuroscience.

He says the trend of “helicopter parenting” so common among alienating parents, actually tells children they are not trusted and they lose self-efficacy.

Finally, hear what he says about whether people can ever accurately tell when a person is lying to us……and that includes if JUDGES are able to detect when someone is lying to them. This is critical information for alienated parents who turn to the justice system for help.

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Thank you for listening to the podcast Navigating Parental Alienation!

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Podcast music credit: Music composed and performed by the amazing David Rourke. DavidRourkeMusic.com

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