PREVIEW:

As early adolescents transition from childhood to adolescence, hormones emerge, body chemistry changes, and social and academic pressures increase.They might experience uncertainty about who they are and feel a natural desire to differentiate from their parents. Add the stressors of the modern world, and it's no wonder that so many early adolescents struggle to navigate the stage in their lives. In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Clinical Therapist Julia Lehr, MSSW, LCSW, AMFT discusses the unique needs of early adolescents, the pressures this population is under, her therapeutic approach, and how parents can cultivate greater connection with their children. 

GUEST PROFILE:

JULIA LEHR, MSSW, LCSW, AMFT

Julia Lehr, MSSW, LCSW, AMFT  is a Clinical Therapist working with early adolescents and their families at Open Sky. Fueled by her passions for family therapy and the healing elements of nature, Julia has supported students in families in a variety of roles within the field of wilderness therapy. As a systemic therapist, Julia works to expand the client system to include families and partners to increase progress towards treatment goals and create lasting change. With a background in teaching yoga, she incorporates mindfulness and breathing techniques into her sessions to promote grounding experiences as well as to support clients in increasing awareness of their external and internal worlds.

TOPICS COVERED: Adolescence, change, childhood, development, early adolescence, parent and child connection, puberty, self care, social media, therapy

00:00 Intro

02:02 Early adolescence

04:20 Typical behaviors

06:36 Kids change – and that’s okay

07:24 Connection, feedback, and communication

10:14 Behaviors and underlying emotions

11:44 Animal-assisted therapy and Ezra

14:35 Common needs that early adolescents seek out

16:03 Trying new things

17:03 Isolation, connection, and the role of parents

20:42 Impact of society on early adolescents

26:12 Advice for parents

27:47 When to seek help

29:58 Opportunities instead of mistakes

SELECT QUOTES:

“We all change throughout life. We have different interests that develop, things that we're gravitating more to, but as parents are seeing their kids change, it can sometimes be alarming to them of, ‘Wait, I thought I knew this person and now they're doing this other thing, and now their favorite color isn't what it was,” and that's totally okay. We all change and there's a variety of different benefits that they can gain from experiencing the world.”

“They really want to share what's going on for them, and sometimes they're doing that in ways that we can’t actually understand what's going on. So what I really work with students is what's going on for you, identifying that, and then being able to speak to it and share in a way that's clear for other people, and then they feel heard.” 

“Because it is not easy being a parent at all. And as you are going through a transition, there's the transition for the children into early adolescence, and then there's also a transition for parents. And so any time we're having a transition in our lives, it's really important to ground through self-care.”

“We can address these behaviors. We can address these experiences now so that we don't have to have increased suffering as they go into adolescence and young adulthood. We can actually decrease that suffering now. And so then they can make the choices and they don't have as many experiences to reflect back on to continue to heal.” 

“I think for parents, it's a really tough time, and it can make them feel like they're making so many mistakes. ‘Oh, I should have done it this way or that way, and I should have done it differently.’ And I think reframing those mistakes as, ‘Oh, I'm taking an opportunity to learn and grow as a parent.’ And that's totally okay.”