"Empathy not just opens the door to understanding money behaviors but also transforms financial shame into a powerful tool for healthier decision-making."

Can empathy be the missing link in transforming your relationship with money? Our host Ed Coambs jumps into part two of this conversation with Jillian Knight as she shares her insights on deconstructing your money story to forge a stronger relationship with your spouse!

She’s going beyond traditional financial advice–espoused by the likes of Dave Ramsey–towards a nuanced understanding that marries emotional intelligence with money management. Jillian explains how empathy can dismantle financial shame, paving the way for greater openness and healthier financial choices between spouses.

They also take a closer look at how our personal history shapes our financial decisions. Jillian guides us through the process of crafting a money story and timeline–a powerful tool for individuals and couples to decode their financial behaviors. By visualizing systemic influences on personal financial beliefs, we shift the narrative from self-blame to understanding the broader societal structures at play. It’s an exercise that illustrates how our financial challenges are often rooted in experiences beyond our control.

Finally, Ed and Jillian explore the realm of financial intimacy within relationships, addressing power dynamics and the influences of past experiences. They discuss the importance of creating a safe space for vulnerability, where partners can openly share their financial journeys!

Key Topics:

• Reflections on the Financial Therapy Association Conference (01:50)
• Why Empathy and Curiosity Are Key to Helping Clients Navigate Their Relationship with Money (04:57)
• Exercises to Help Clients Explore Their Relationship with Money (13:26)
• Giving Couples a Safe Space to Share Their Money Story (22:03)
• The Physiology and Psychology of Safety (32:27)
• How Lack in Your Personal Money Story Impacts Family Dynamics (39:34)
• Regulating Your Nervous System (42:06)

Resources:

• Her Financial Therapy

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

Our host, Ed Coambs sits down with fellow Financial Therapist Jillian Knight of Her Financial Therapy to talk about her eye-opening journey to financial freedom. The challenges she faced on her road to being debt-free offer a ton of insights into the power of open communication between spouses and the dark truth about mainstream money management programs.

"Navigating student loans without a financial roadmap was daunting, but it ultimately led me to discover the transformative power of combining therapy with financial guidance."

As with many people, Jillian's financial awakening began when she realized the gravity of her student loan burden and her lack of financial education after getting married. With nowhere to go but up, she talks about how she fought through the sense of isolation and overwhelm she felt while paying down her debt, with the guidance of financial expert Dave Ramsey.

"Rigid financial systems can impose moral judgments and hierarchies that hinder personal growth; recognizing these barriers is essential for fostering a healthier relationship with money."

Over time, she and her husband became disillusioned with Ramsey and the shame-based culture prevalent in many similar overly rigid financial programs.

"Evolving social dynamics, like the pandemic and movements for racial justice, have reshaped my approach to money management, underscoring the need to balance financial goals with self-care and emotional health."

But it was really when significant recent events, particularly the pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement, that led Jillian and her husband to break away entirely from Dave Ramsey and chart their own road to being debt-free–a road that values tolerance and flexibility above all else.

She hopes that her unique path to redefining financial therapy inspires others to walk their own journey with intention and empathy!

Key Topics:

• From Performing Arts to Financial Therapy (03:07)
• Why Most People Don’t Realize How Extensive Their Student Loans Are (08:30)
• Spending Dynamics in the Household (10:12)
• Why the Saver/Spender Stereotypes Are Harmful (15:14)
• The Danger of Rigid Financial Programs (21:43)

Resources:

• Her Financial Therapy

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

"We think we need more money to be happy, but in reality, we just need those people to talk with and count on and feel connected with."

Did you know that money-related arguments between married couples are the most predictive of divorce compared to any other type of conflict?

Our host Ed Coambs sits down with financial therapist Dr. Sonya Lutter to unpack this uncomfortable truth and how couples can take steps to masterfully navigate financial challenges of all kinds. Sonya draws from over two decades of research and marriage counseling. When she’s not speaking onstage or working with clients, she’s teaching at Texas Tech University as the Director of the Financial Health and Wellness program.

"If I'm more stressed, the people around me become more stressed. Our brains are wired to pick up on each other's emotional states."

Ed and Sonya kick things off talking about the power of open communication regarding money and role expectations as early as possible in a relationship. Sonya shares how unspoken assumptions and unmet expectations can silently brew conflict, even without overt arguments. She explains why it’s so important not just to have regular conversations with your spouse, but also to seek professional support on your financial wellness journey.

"While we might believe we're in complete control of ourselves, much of our behavior is instinctive and triggered by external stimuli."

They also explore the connection between financial anxiety and family dynamics. Sonya discusses how the fight-or-flight response influences our interactions and responsibilities as adults and parents. Finally, she and Ed touch on the magic of co-regulation (versus codependency), through which partners can support each other in managing stress.

Key Topics:

• Why Couples Get Stuck Around Money (02:37)
• Why Conflict is Not Restricted to Yelling at Each Other (06:27)
• Focusing on the Thing and Not the Person (10:32)
• Defining “Physiological Stress” and the Power of “Co-Regulation” (14:18)
• What Triggers Financial Anxiety? (19:37)
• Why Relationships Matter (22:57)
• Attachment Theory and Meeting Needs (29:10)
• Scheduling Financial Conversations with Your Spouse (32:10)

Resources:

• SonyaLutter.com
• Sonya on LinkedIn

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.