This concludes Season 5, The Marriage Season.

"Samuel never went to meet with Saul again, but he mourned constantly for him. And the Lord was sorry he had ever made Saul king of Israel." "Now the Lord said to Samuel, "you have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem." (1 Samuel 15:35, 1 Samuel 16:1)

Sometimes God wrecks our lives, not to destroy us but for the impact to hit at such a great magnitude that your life is forever changed. Saul got hit with his life changing moment on the road to Damascus, the magnitude was so huge that it stuck with him. It had to happen for him to become who God called him to be (Paul).

I am in the stages where I am grieving things that I once wanted, I am having to feel what I need to fill & process everything so that I don't continue to mourn in a place that God has called me out of when the time comes.

Grief isn't just a thing when people pass away, it is also when things die in your life but they are still alive physically. Grief is unpredictable, and it comes out of no where & sometimes it comes when you thought you had processed everything. God is okay with us grieving, you just can't stay here in grief & that is typically what ends up happening.

Often times we don't process grief, we stay in grief & we continue to mourn over things that God has already made his mind up about. Its human to be sad, angry, hurt, confused etc but we have to allow God to guide us through those feelings and emotions so that we can process them & not harbor them. Being honest and open about what you feel helps you to come to terms with the will that God has defined for your life & as you begin moving forward throughout this journey it will become your power. You will have the courage to move forward in things that seem impossible because you will be able to reflect on the previous times where you had to stand up against hard things, yet you made it through.

Grieving the former things.

Grieving the things I wanted.

Grieving what I thought we had.

Grieving what I thought we would do.

Grieving the changes that have taken place in my life.

But grief wont hold me hostage, I'm grieving now so that I don't hold on to things that God needed me to process so that when I get where I am going my feelings/emotions aren't in the way of what God is trying to do.