It seems today that we are constantly consuming media messaging that is meant to make us feel like we are somehow behind or lacking what others have. This phenomenon has not skipped parenting. There are parenting influencers showing us an edited, stylized version of what their families are like. Please know I am not judging what other do or how they make a living. What I am pointing out is that it has never been so easy to peek into other people’s lives and use that information as a mirror in which to judge our own capacity, ability, or success.

In it’s lightest, breeziest form, TikToks, Instagram reels, and Facebook videos allow parents to see the similarities between our experiences. It creates a sense of connection that binds us in our shared lived experience trying to raise children in a certain time in history. That is a good thing. Especially for parents who are otherwise isolated - such as parents of babies or small children or parents of children with special needs.

However, it’s important to give light to the darker side of this trend. Not all parenting content creators are completely transparent or honest. There are some questionable creators that are performative. They act out the role of mother or father but are actually wrapped up in their own experience rather than caring for their child. The child becomes an object or prop in which to show how wonderful the parent is.