Every marriage faces misunderstandings, but it's how we handle them that determines whether our relationship thrives or struggles. In this episode of Keeping It Young, Dave and Bethlie share practical, biblical wisdom on overcoming misunderstandings in marriage before they grow into bigger problems.

Learn how to approach difficult conversations with humility and kindness, share your needs in ways your spouse can receive them, and present issues without tearing down your spouse. Dave and Bethlie discuss the difference between minor miscommunications and deeper misunderstandings that need addressing.

Whether you're newlyweds or have been married for decades, this episode provides actionable application for maintaining intimacy, avoiding resentment, and growing together as co-laborers in Christ.

What You'll Learn:

• The difference between simple miscommunications and destructive misunderstandings
• How to approach issues with humility, kindness, and grace
• Why making demands always leads to failure in marriage
• How to share needs in a way your spouse can process
• Practical communication strategies for husbands and wives
• The spiritual foundation for overcoming relational challenges
  
  Episode Notes:

1. What do we mean by misunderstandings?
   1. Desires that aren't met
   2. Issues that won't go away
   3. Failure to meet each others needs
2. How do you overcome them?
   1. Approach issues in a right way
      1. Recognize the value of humility and kindness
         1. allows us to be vulnerable
         2. allows us to develop intimacy (even if it is small)
      2. Recognize that making demands equal failure
         1. These usually are accusations that are selfish
         2. They build walls rather than intimacy
   2. Share your needs in the way that your spouse processes
      1. Have a right motivation
         1. That your spouse will grow spiritually and have God's blessings
      2. Use a right presentation
         1. Don't belittle
         2. Be honest but build
            1. A husband especially needs this:
               1. I know you are better than this
         3. For a wife -
            1. don't process everything with him
            2. plan how to be kind and to the point
         4. For a husband
            1. Be kind and loving in your words
            2. Ask her to pray about the matter
            3. Share it with her and ask her to consider it and talk about it later
            4. Don't be frustrated by her processing
   3. Determine to grow (prefereably together)
      1. Know you you are in Christ
      2. Know who your spouse is in Christ
      3. Know that your are co-laborers for Christ
         1. You are in this together
         2. Pray for and help each other

Dave and Bethlie wrap up this first section of the Overcoming series focused on the subject of anger. We're also celebrating and praising the Lord for our 300th episode!

1. What do you do with a child who has a tendency to anger
   1. Correct them
      1. Punishment - Every time anger has to be confronted with a negative consequence
      2. We recommend a spanking - every time
   2. Teach them
      1. keep it simple
      2. This is wrong
      3. This is how you should respond
   3. Disciple them
      1. Your child will need the power of God's Word and God's Spirit
      2. Your child will need to walk with God
   4. Model for them
      1. You must do right first
      2. You must learn to have peace in your heart
      3. You have to model right responses to irritations and issues and life itself

Dave and Bethlie continue their series on overcoming with this part 2 of Overcoming Anger.

1. How do you overcome anger in your marriage and family
   1. Start with confession
      1. Eph 4:30. Confess it as sin
         1. Control your anger - better - confess your anger
         2. Jesus got angry - you aren't Jesus
   2. Meditate on Scripture
      1. Proverbs 15:1-3
         1. A soft/gentle answer turns away wrath
            • Recognize that you are most vulnerable to sin when you are sinned against
         2. the tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright
            • Recognize that your words evidence your heart
         3. the eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good
            • Recognize that God is always present and always holding us accountable
      2. Proverbs 17:19
      3. Ecclesiastes 9:17
   3. Start with some growth/spiritual steps
      1. If you have an anger issue this is the answer
         1. You have to grow
            1. Confess it as sin
            2. Pray about it every day
            3. Ask forgiveness
            4. Secure accountability
            5. Respond immediately to any failure
         2. You have to sow
            • As you sow the right seeds, you will begin to see fruit
         3. You have to love and honor
            1. Your wife matters
            2. Your husband matters
      2. If you are married to someone with an anger problem, this is the answer.
         1. You have to grow too
            1. In order to confront your spouses anger, you have to put your spiritual house in order
               • essential to have the strength, courage, perspective, and ability to help your spouse
            2. Pray about how to respond in a right way
            3. Practice how to respond in a right way
               • That was a very angry way to say that, can you say it differently so I don't feel so defensive
         2. You have to allow time for fruit
            1. Anger is usually a learned behavior that is habitual
            2. When you respond to your spouse with gentleness and a request for a different response, allow your spouse to process that
               1. It makes them aware
               2. It give the Spirit time to work
   4. Separate as a last resort.
      1. I can't (with a clear conscience) believe that anger is a grounds for divorce
      2. Separation however, may be needed if a man's anger is making him abusive

In this first episode of our Overcoming series, Dave and Bethlie discuss the topic of Anger.

Overcoming Anger

Quote: We are a society addicted to outrage. Martin Wickens

In the social media world, outrage generates more "clicks" and ad revenue than anything else

1. What does the Bible say about anger?
   1. Various words are used
      1. Anger
      2. Angry
      3. Wrath
   2. Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down on your wrath
   3. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice
   4. A soft answer turns away wrath
   5. Fathers provoke not your children to anger

1. What does anger look like?
   1. an outward explosion
   2. a simmering resentment
   3. harsh words
   4. Rage
   5. An angry person is churlish, mean, unkind
      1. Illustration of Nabal
         1. churlish - difficult, fierce, intense
         2. Evil - bad, disagreeable, giving pain, unhappiness, or misery)
   6. An angry person is difficult to get along with
   7. Anger leads to bitterness and poisons an individual as well as everyone close to them - especially one's spouse and kids

1. What do we know about anger? Some things to understand:
   1. If you are single, know this: an anger issue always gets worse after marriage.
      1. "with a furious man you shall not go . . ."
      2. It is impossible to live with an angry man without making him angry
      3. Same is true for an angry woman
   2. The target of anger is not the cause
      1. You are not to carry the responsibility for a spouses anger or a parents anger
      2. It is not your fault if your spouse is angry
      3. It is not your fault if your parents are angry
   3. Regarding men:
      1. anger is fueled by testosterone and is different than a woman's anger
      2. Anger is physical often before it is processed
         1. (think of punching a wall)
         2. Crying is a woman's response to feeling unloved; anger is a man's response to feeling disrespected
      3. Talking things out will not make things better
         1. A man has to process his anger before he can talk
         2. Talking about it in the moment will only increase his anger
         3. give him time to golf, piddle in the garage, or whatever
            1. This is how he processes his emotions
            2. Very few men process their emotions by talking
   4. Regarding women:
      1. Anger is fueled by emotions and wounds
      2. Anger is often a result of unresolved conflicts
      3. Anger is sometimes the result of unmet expectations

Overcoming

1 John 5:4

This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.

2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be unto God, who always causes us to triumph in Christ

Introduction: As we enter 2026, we are going to explore the word Overcoming!

How do you overcome (fill in the blank)?

Henry Ford "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently"

Proposition: It is God's plan that we overcome every issue we face in our marriage and family and minstry.

Here are four essentials

1. The Word of God - what does the Bible say
2. Use of proven methods
   1. but is not a proven method
   2. and is a failed method
   1. but is a failed method
   1. Gentle parenting sounds so "cool"
   2. Cohabitation sounds plausible

1. Use of proven resources
   1. Connection classes, Sunday School, life groups, etc
   2. Worship
   3. Preaching
   4. Counseling
   1. Books are a gift from God that most people never take advantage of
   2. When it comes marriage and family issues, you cannot get the help you need in video snippets and fast-paced graphics
   3. The church

1. The investment of right steps over a long period of time
   1. Time is required to do the work
   2. Time is required to seek God through His Word in prayer
   3. Time is required for a continual application of right steps
   4. Time is required to develope new habits
   5. Time is required to make changes
   6. Time is required to sow seeds that can grow and bring fruit

Today, Bethlie and I wanted to reminisce a bit; talk about the future of the podcast; and make a plea for your help.

Reminisce

1. We have podcasted weekly for 5 years now.
   1. A ton of study
   2. More than a few hours in recording
   3. Hundreds of messages and emails answered
2. We have enjoyed getting to know so many new people through our podcast
   1. Lots of couples
   2. More than a few familes
   3. Quite a few singles and teens as well

The Future

1. We know there is a need
2. We know there is a growing need
   1. There is an ignorance of Biblical Truth
      1. There is simultaneously a growing embrace of cultural norms
         1. Masculinity is downplayed
         2. Feminism is celebrated - indirectly, but celebrated nonetheless
         3. Marriage is feared and discouraged
            1. Wait until college is over
            2. Wait until you have X amount of money and a secure enough job
      2. While Christianity is frustrated at the aggressiveness of liberal views, we sometimes are getting the same results when it comes to preparing our kids for work, for marriage, and for life
         1. Transgenderism and homosexuality and feminism destroy and damage the traditionally celebrated nuclear family.
         2. They also undermine it.
   2. There is a subtle refusal of Biblical Commands
      1. An increasing favoring of cultural views
         1. The issue of leadership and submission
         2. The issue of modesty and standards relating to modesty
         3. The issue of child training
            1. A fear of correction
               1. It will damage a child
               2. It is negative
               3. Our forefathers were too hard
            2. A fear of culture
   3. There is a failure of Biblical instruction
      1. in pulpits
      2. in homes
         1. Our boys are held back from being and becoming men who are prepared to be leaders, husbands, and fathers
            1. There is very little training
            2. There is also a disdain of male leadership
         2. Our daughters are redirected form being and becoming ladies who are trained and prepared to be wives and mommies
            1. There is almost no training in this area
            2. There is a disdain for male leadership
               1. Shown in ridicule
               2. Shown in weddings
               3. Shown in women's Bible studies
   4. All this is to say, there is a growing need.

Our request

1. We request your prayers
2. We request your promotion
   1. Like and share on social media
   2. Give a rating if you are able to do so
   3. Tell others
3. We request your support
   1. Many of you support us periodically
   2. Some of you support us monthly
      1. A few churches do
      2. Some individuals do
   3. Perhaps God would lead you to do the same
   4. We will be updating our giving site in coming months, but for now, you can give online at EvangelistDaveYoung.com or by check made payable to Dave and Bethlie Young at 2621 Woodstone Dr Poplar Bluff MO 63901

As we come to the end of yet another year, lets determine afresh and anew that "we will serve the Lord with gladness."

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!!!

We love this time of year!

We love that it is a time of celebration

We love that it is a time of joy and singing and lights and decorations

We love that it is a time of feasting

We love that it is a time of gifts and giving

We love that it is a time of remembering that Jesus Christ came into the World

-as the Savior

-as Diety

We love the Christmas story

1. Matthew 1-2
   1. Geneaology of Joseph - to list Jesus legal right to the throne of David
   2. TheAngel's message to Joseph
   3. The Angel's insistence that He be called Jesus
   4. The Angel's insistence that he be called Immanuel
   5. The arrival of the Wise Men
      1. their knowledge
      2. The star
      3. The way the events completely fulfill the OT prophecies about the Messiah
         1. Called out of Egypt
         2. Weeping for the loss of Children
         3. Called a Nazarene (lived in Nazareth)
2. Luke 1-2 is the most detailed account
   1. Emphasis on prayer
      1. multitude was praying
      2. Zechariah was praying
      3. Anna and Simeon were praying
   2. Emphasis on faith
      1. Mary just accepted it and acted on it
      2. Joseph did the same
   3. Emphasis on Messiah's deity
      1. Mother of my Lord (Elizabeth)
      2. He who is Mighty hath done great things for me
   4. Emphasis on Jesus as the Messiah
      1. He fulfilled the OT prophecies
      2. He claimed Diety and had the power of Diety
      3. He was cut off just like Daniel had said he would be
      4. He died and lived again just like Isaiah had said he would

Celebrate Him this week!

1. Read the story
2. Attend church
3. Teach it to your kids and grandkids
4. Sing the songs
5. Turn to Him

Dave and Bethlie discuss the book Manhood by Senator Josh Hawley.

1. About the Author:
   1. Represents Missouri in US Senate
   2. First Amendment Lawyer and law professor
   3. Former Attorney General of Missouri
   4. They live in Ozark MO and have three children
2. About the Book:
   1. Senator Hawley addresses an issue that concerns many in our world today - the issue of masculinity under attack.
   2. He calls this issue a crisis and I agree
3. Why I love the book:
   1. It is good and offers a perspective that is sometimes outside of my realm
   2. He shows how manhood was perceived in the Greek and Roman era
   3. He has great illustrations from his own experiences growing up in a rural area
   4. He build a model of manhood following the Bible, the Word of God
4. What is the point?
   1. Senator Hawley shows the essential virtues a man should cultivate
   2. Shows why a man has to be a warrior, builder, priest, and king
   3. Show the important of courage and commitment as the starting point for manhood
   4. Shows the philosophy behind modern liberalism and offers evidence of why it is so destructive to our nation as a whole.
5. The chapters;
   1. 2 Parts
   2. 10 chapters
      1. In the Beginning
      2. A Man's Mission
      3. A Man's Battle
      4. A Man's Promise
      5. Husband
      6. Father
      7. Warrior
      8. Builder
      9. Priest
      10. King

Chapter 1

1. General patterns
   1. Living Habits and Work
      1. More and more young men remain at home
      2. 50 % of Lower skilled young men in their 20s who have a job still live at home (or with a close relative)
      3. If they don't have a job, 70% still live at home.
      4. 2015 - 1/4 of young men 20-20 had no work at all
      5. In 1970, 95 percent of 30 years old made more money then their fathers had
      6. In 2014, only 44 percent did
   2. Underperformance at school
      1. 70% of Ds and Fs are given to boys
      2. By 8th grade, only 20% of boys are proficient in writing
      3. At same age, only 24% can earn proficient scores on reading exams
      4. Boys now make up 2/3 of students in remedial programs, not because their intelligence is lower, but because they aren't trying!
   3. What do young men do with their time?
      1. Screens
      2. Leisure
      3. Porn
      4. Another way of saying it is: Socializing, relaxing, leisure
         1. Vast amount of leisure time includes video games and porn
   4. These young men are now battling depression and drug abuse at historic levels and the results have been disastrous
   5. Liberalism is the philosophy behind it all
      1. Liberalism believes that western society is unequal unjust and corrupt to its foundations
         1. Masculinity is one of the foundations and it must be "smashed" for man to be free
   6. Senator Hawley's point is that the answer to our masculine crisis is "the oldest and most profound story there is. It is the story of the Bible"

Chapter 2 places an emphasis on man's purpose by tracing our story back to the garden of Eden

Chapter 3 places an emphasis on man's responsibility and duty

Chapter 4 is especially worth considering

1. It details how masculinity became something oppressive, something to be avoided and eradicated
   1. In chapter 3, he introduces the readers to Epicurus and to Rousseau and showed how that their ideology lead to men throwing off all responsibility and choosing only to do what they wanted to do. Their happiness and their fulfillment was the only reason to live
   2. In this chapter, he show how the followers of Karl Marx paved the way for the attack on modern masculinity
      1. It saw traditional culture as the enemy; especially Christianity
      2. From there, it attacked femininity and masculinity
      3. Senator Hawley gives ample illustrations of how this is being taught in our schools and in our institutions and how it is destroy our nation as we know it