Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This episode was recorded a week in advance as Britt is visiting Ben in Romania. Britt opens up about some of the challenges of long distance and what she’s really struggling with at the moment.

Britt has also called one of our listeners a loser. We deeply apologise YourGirlSidney

Do you think it’s okay to be in a relationship if you know that the person isn’t ‘the one’ (or end game) for you? How long is it okay to be ‘working’ this out? Does it depend on the age of the people in the relationship?

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Your Girl Sidney

Keeshia: Medusa Wispy Light Human Hair Fringe - Air Bangs- Clip In

Laura App Eat Club

Then we get into your questions!

HE WON’T GO DOWN ON ME & DOESN’T MAKE AN EFFORT TO PLEASURE ME
I'm 21 and my male partner is 23. We have been together for 3 years. Since we have been together he has only gone down on me maybe 3 times in total for about 20 seconds. I have brought this up with him and asked why he doesn't do it and he replies with "I don't like it sorry" which is totally fine but when we do have sex I never get anything out of it as he never really tries to pleasure me. We have tried sex toys but I think he gets awkward about it and then it never happens again. I talk to my friends about it but all they say is tell me that my relationship is not right and tell me about how good they have it. Sometimes I wonder what I am missing out on. Every other part of our relationship is amazing because he is an amazing human who I love so much. Am I missing out ? And if so what the hell do I do?

HE LIED ABOUT HAVING AN STI
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7-8months. He asked me to help him with a work medical claim, he sent over a pack of documents for me to read to help him write a letter. Reading the documents it said he had herpes. When we first started dating I made sure we both had sexual health checks - he was pushing to have sex without a condom, something I’ve never done and didn’t feel comfortable doing without the STI checks prior. The tests came back with no issues flagged so we started having unprotected sex. 7 months later I read this document - he said initially that “he forgot,” then ended up telling me he lied to me because he thought I would break up with him if I knew. Additional context: his previous girlfriend gave him herpes and also didn’t tell him until 2 months into dating. I don’t know what to do - I thought this guy was my penguin, help!

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH A COLLEAGUE
Should I enter a short term friends with benefits situation with a colleague that’s leaving at the end of the year even though I’m inexperienced and not sure how I’ll emotionally handle it? I think it could be a great idea for my overall satisfaction and self confidence, but I don't want to get rejected, or catch feelings and then get really sad when I’m rejected and/or he moves away. Is it worth the risk for good sex?

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Before being known as Danielle Laidley, she was a hugely successful AFL player and played 151 games for West Coast Eagles and North Melbourne football clubs, and winning premierships and going onto be the youngest senior coach ever at 36, coaching North Melbourne for 149 games across seven seasons from 2003 to 2009.

For decades, Danielle kept her gender to herself and threw herself into sporting success and became a workaholic. Eventually the pain of keeping this secret led to some dark coping mechanisms like substance abuse.

In May, 2020, a police officer took a photo of Danielle in an interview room at a St Kilda police station while wearing a wig and make-up. This photo was shared in a group chat before it was leaked to the media & the public.

Now, following her diagnosis with gender dysphoria, Danielle works extensively as an advocate for transgender people, raising awareness in a quest for acceptance of diversity.

In this chat we speak about:

• The different phases of Danielle's life & always knowing who she is
• Growing up in the hyper masculine environments of football and cricket
• How she coped with the public exposure of her transition before she had been able to speak with her family and friends about it
• How the football world has responded to Danielle's transition
• How parents can help support their kids who experience gender dysphoria
• Her beautiful relationship with a woman she's known since grade 1
• Danielle's perspective on transpeople in sport

You can find Danielle's Instagram and book - Don't look away

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Hey lifers,
Keeshia is in the hot seat filling in Britt while she's in Romania.
Have you ever accidentally done something illegal? Laura's renovation project has made Keeshia realise that she's been accidentally shoplifting for over a decade.

Do you ever lie or withhold information from your partner? Do you hide packages or lie about new items that you've bought and say that you've had them forever? There's a tiktok from Thewestcoastmama that has us questioning what's normal and who is in the wrong.

Today we take a deep dive on what friendship means to us and whether we're too quick to deprioritise friendship when other responsibilities rear their heads.
We spoke about Simon Sinek and his conversation on the Prof G Podcast and his Youtube with Trevor Noah

What are you currently looking for in friendship?
Has that shifted over the years as your life has gone through different chapters?
Is there too much pressure to maintain friendships when there are all of these other things that we are trying to do well?

92% of you have experienced a friendship breakup.

Most of you think about the breakdown of a friendship more than the breakdown of a romantic relationship.

We speak about our own experiences of friendship breakdowns and whether we would ever be able to reestablish those friendships.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show:

• Producer Grace gets stopped at security
• Nickname origin stories
• Lola was not writing in her 'diahorrea'
• Massages gone wrong

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. Laura and Matt are having some *creative differences* in their house reno visions. Laura wants to live under the rainbow and is anti beige brigade. Matt wants a bright blue laundry. When it comes to the aesthetic of your house and you having opposing opinions to your partner, who gets final say?

Vibes for this week:
Keeshia: Perfect Wife on Disney Plus
Laura: Figma Colour Wheel
Britt: Tanologist Self Tan Drops

Then we get into your questions!
DO WE STILL HAVE TO GET THEM A WEDDING GIFT
One of my closest friends is getting married in Canada, I am one of her bridesmaids and I am so stoked for it. Obviously to go to the wedding my partner and I have booked flights over to Canada (not cheap) and also booked the hotel that was chosen for the wedding party (also not cheap). I don’t mind about these costs because it's my close friend and it's a holiday to Canada! My partner and I have debated whether we should get them a wedding gift? I don’t mind getting one and like giving gifts, but my partner thinks we have already spent a lot of money going to the wedding. I’m curious to know what you guys think? Should you get someone a wedding gift if you have already invested $4,000 to get to the wedding and stay there.

DO I DOUBLE MESSAGE HIM?
My now ex boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago after I found out he was cheating on me. It was awful as we lived together and I went to uni not only with him but also with the other women. We were together for 3 years. Another guy I also go to uni with and used to date 5 years ago (my ex was aware and they were still really good friends) also broke up with his girlfriend he dated for a similar amount of time. We have always been friends ever since the breakup and I was also friends with his ex girlfriend. Fast forward to now, I am now a lawyer and finished with uni and don’t have to see my ex except at social occasions. I have caught up with this other guy a couple of times and we have had a vibe for about a month now. On Saturday he invited me to his house with a bunch of other lawyers from uni including my ex. After a lot of alcohol my ex and the other people left and this other guy asked me to stay and chat which I did. One thing led to another and we had sex and it was really good. He also said he really enjoyed it. I stayed the night where we hugged. He made me coffee and breakfast in the morning and took me home. A few hours after he dropped me off I messaged him and said thank you for dropping me off and I had fun last night. He read the message and still hasn’t replied, in the whole 5 years I have known him he has never left me on read. I don’t want to come across as desperate but do I double message him? I still have his clothes and don’t know what to do. It’s also not like we will never see each other again, we have lots of mutual friends and are both invited to another party this weekend. Please help!

PUBIC HAIR
I’ve always been curious how females maintain pubic hair?? My husband says he doesn’t care whether it’s bare or hairy .. but I still can’t figure out what I prefer either … like what’s the norm these days? Completely bare or hairy and how do you maintain and how often?

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Jeff Guenther AKA TherapyJeff is here to help you take control of your dating life, by tuning into who you are, what you want, and how you can get there. Therapy Jeff has over 3.8 million followers on socials. He is a licensed therapist with twenty years’ experience in private practice. Today we are going to unpack a bit of the psychology behind why we are the way that we are in relationships and how that impacts different aspects of our dating lives!

Today we chat about:

• Growing up with a mum who is also a therapist. Is that good or bad?
• Can we blame our parents for who we are attracted to?
• Why is dating so hard right now?
• If you’re on dating apps, you could be dating an AI avatar of the person
• When we ARE the problem and how to take control of that
• Patterns: are you after chaos and drama or a healthy stable relationship? No, but really what are you actually searching for?
• How much can you change someone to help them meet your needs?
• How to spot the difference between love bombing and the honeymoon phase
• Can you survive cheating? What determines whether you can or can’t

Find more from Jeff’s website
Find Therapy Jeff on Instagram and tiktok

You can watch us on Youtube

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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Hey Lifers,
Sorry for the start of today's ep. Not sure what else to say about it to be honest. If you've had the 'back' lasered, how do you get it done? What's your therapists 'go to' position?

Britt is headed to Romania to see Ben! She shares how some of the challenges of being in a long distance relationship have affected her and why she's looking forward to seeing him so much!

Unions are pushing to keep bosses from 'trawling' social media and reprimanding employees because of what they're getting up to on the gram. It could be a faked sickie, or a perspective that doesn't align with the values of the business.
Do you think employers should be able to reprimand their employees for things that they post on social media?

We also speak about the brave woman Gisele Pelicot, who has chosen to waive her right to anonymity after her husband drugged her and allowed her to be sexually abused by 70+ men.
We speak about the shift in the way that society views victimhood and the strength that it takes for victims to publicly share their stories to advocate for justice. We also look at the role the media and legal systems play in shaping the choices of survivors.

If this conversation brings up anything for you, a confidential information, counselling and support service is available at 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

Every week we are joined by our radio co-host Mitch Churi at 3pm on the KIIS Network. You can listen live on iHeart radio, or catch up here each week!
For more follow @THEPICKUP on socials.

On the show:

• Britt has a fight with a taxi driver
• Mitch gets his regular
• Ask Uncut
• Yo-Chi Icks
• The kid who broke a 3500 year old urn
• Mitch's Pitch

You can watch us on Youtube

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.