Welcome to a journey of self-discovery. In the last episode, we looked at the number one killer of happiness: unnecessary long-term suffering. This “happiness killer” completely shuts down our happiness.

In this episode, we’ll discuss the emotional dragons that feed and cause the Happiness Killer.

The number one dragon is Fear. Like the dragon, fear is more powerful than happiness or any other positive emotion. It’s in our DNA. We are born with fear of falling and fight/flight, a survival mechanism. Fear was vital for our survival.

When Fear is beyond control, it causes other dragons:

· Anger: when out of control, creates rage, which can lead to violence.

· Hate: can lead to revenge.

· Worry can become chronic, which causes anxiety, which can cause panic attacks

· Aggressiveness

· Blame, shame, guilt

· Doubt

· Depression: if left unchecked, it can lead to suicide

Anger is a common fear. Here’s a question: Do you feel angry most of the time, sometimes, or not at all? Tell the truth. I can’t hear you. And no one else will hear you if you don’t say it aloud. Anger is worse at controlling because it sometimes feels energizing and even exhilarating. Benjamin Franklin said, “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one.”

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Welcome to a journey of self-discovery. Let’s continue looking at happiness and its number one killer: unnecessary long-term suffering. This “happiness killer” completely shuts down our happiness. We lose our ability to create, which affects our overall health and the quality of our lives.

Long-term suffering causes deep, overwhelming sadness, worry, and anger. When these emotions are too extreme and persistent, they become pathological, as in depression, anxiety, and raging anger. When emotions are too muted, they create dullness and distance.

Ordinary suffering is part of life, but nobody should experience long-term, unnecessary suffering.

So, why do we carry this suffering for long periods? It seems as if we have no control over it. It’s like pain that sets in our chest. The trauma, the break-up, and the tragedy may be long gone, but the deep suffering is still there. And we can’t seem to shake it off.

Look at your life around you – all that surrounds you. What in your surroundings can you control?

· Can you control the weather?

· How about other people?

· Do you have control over your destiny or death?

There is little to nothing we can control. We are mainly at the mercy of everything around us. If we try to take control over people or situations, we’ll probably lose. In the end, all we’ve done is suffer in the process...

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Happiness doesn’t just feel good; happiness is good for you.

• It will boost your immune system and help you endure pain better.
• It will boost your creativity.
• It will help you develop greater self-control and coping skills.
• You will have better relationships and a more fulfilling social life.

A Mayo Clinic study found that happy people live longer. Researchers found that happy people are more likely to be married and stay married. Happier people are more satisfied with their jobs. A study of 272 workers over 18 months showed that happier people got better job evaluations and higher pay.

Listen for the Happiness Practice Skills in the podcast

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