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  • Recognizing The Feeling of Not Wanting My Mother Around At An Early Age

    Recognizing The Feeling of Not Wanting My Mother Around At An Early Age
    2023/05/31
    In this episode I talk about memories and issues happening in the 2nd and 3rd grade while we lived in Myrtle Beach, SC. I talk about things happening and wishing it happened to my mother so we could live a normal life. I discuss having surgery at an early age remembering my mother never coming to the hospital to see me but glad she did not. I also discuss how a lot of this affected my adult life, even now. join me as I talk about sad and terrible childhood and how it forced me to think like an adult without understanding that concept.
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    1 時間 20 分
  • Learning To Accept Being Alone At An Early Age

    Learning To Accept Being Alone At An Early Age
    2023/05/17
    In this interesting podcast about mental illness, we pick up where we left off in the last episode which would be around the middle of second grade. We were, once again, moving to another state and another school. We will touch on the point where I learned to accept how to be alone and to start thinking in terms of looking out for myself. We also touch on when I started getting invites to friends houses and how I realized our 'normal' was wrong and I started to cover and hide my homelife.
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    1 時間 46 分
  • I Was Eight Years Old When I Witnessed The 'Devil' Looking Through My Mother's Eyes.

    I Was Eight Years Old When I Witnessed The 'Devil' Looking Through My Mother's Eyes.
    2023/05/03

    We continue the early years of my childhood and the memories of what I witnessed. I was 8 years old when I first witnessed the 'devil' in her eyes as she beat, scratched and cut my father with a violent, evil fury. it was a bone-chilling moment that is still emblazoned in my psyche.
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    1 時間 52 分
  • When I Instinctively Began to Take Care of Myself

    When I Instinctively Began to Take Care of Myself
    2023/04/19

    This episode will touch on when I became aware there was something wrong with my mother and how her Schizophrenia mental illness affected my beginning elementary school. I became aware of having to take care of myself and fend for myself at a very early age. I will begin to delve into this issue at the earliest age I can remember along with a few other memories around the same time that pop-up because of what they are and why.
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    1 時間 41 分
  • The Foundation Episode-Schizophrenia (Her Mental Illness)

    The Foundation Episode-Schizophrenia (Her Mental Illness)
    2023/04/05

    This will be the first episode on my mother's mental illness which was schizophrenia. This will be the foundation for the rest of this journey, if you will. Mental disorders are a difficult thing for anyone to deal with but for children, it is even more difficult. This journey into her, and my, world of mental illness is sure to be incredulous but it was my everyday life until I left home at 22. Join me and delve into this world of hate, violence, anxiety, depression, fear, fight and flight, tolerance and sub-conscious defense mechanisms on a scale you may not believe.
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    1 時間 39 分