Self-sabotage is a phrase that we’re all pretty familiar with and one that I hear daily from potential clients. During our intake process, one of the questions I ask is, “What are the behaviors that you engage in right before you abandon your goals?” and the behaviours at the core of this question are the self-sabotaging activities. The reason I don’t ask “How do you sabotage yourself” is because not all of the behaviors are conscious.

In this episode, I will identify the five most common self-sabotage behaviours and offer tips to build strategies to end the self-sabotage cycle. 

Vulnerability is messy. It has poor timing. It doesn’t come with filters. There are no re-takes. Vulnerability is the willingness to show emotion or allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known, the willingness to risk being emotionally hurt.

Think about that for a moment. Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Do you let others in and see you - the real you? Most of us struggle with this. With this episode, I don’t just want to share that you’re not alone in this struggle - because you are definitely not. I want to help give you some tools to begin allowing yourself to be vulnerable so we can all normalize our struggles collectively. 

Tune in and find out what they are!

The reality is no one’s success is solo. Our family should not be our obstacle. We do not need to choose to be a mother OR be successful, and doing both shouldn’t mean we shut off who we are to do the impossible. If your husband wanted to make a big decision to benefit him, he would say to you, “this is what I’m doing”, and YOU would make it work. HE is capable of helping you make your needs work, too, but you have to give him that opportunity. Perhaps he will be resistant, and his face will malfunction, but WILL HE DIE? I am guessing not. 

Here are the facts. You have wants, needs, and goals, and they are NOT unreasonable. If you have been trying to meet those wants, goals, and needs but keep tripping over the same obstacle (which for women is usually dropping our needs for our family’s needs), you need to do something different. No matter how many times you walk into that wall, it will not move. YOU have to move around it. It’s time to stop asking for permission. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” (fun fact that is not an einstein quote).

Okay, Sophie, but how? Tune in and find out!

Our behaviour is a byproduct of our neural networking, and our neural networks are built by our experiences. Some of our most fundamental beliefs and behaviours are those we were not actively involved in but rather witness as children. This goes for our beliefs about our bodies and food, too. 

How we utilize language can make or break our relationship with those things. I don't want you to damage that relationship anymore. Listen in and find out how you can use words to change how you see your body and food in a way that empowers you.

When working from home, I’m distracted constantly. 

My husband also works from home, and while he tries only to interrupt me for essential things - lots of important things come up when you have as much on the go as we do. When my kids are home, the interruptions are even more frequent. But then, there are fun interruptions like Amazon deliveries, happy texts from friends, or an assignment grade update. It’s endless.

When I get distracted, jumping right back into work is hard, so I find myself moving toward the kitchen. Am I hungry? Maybe? Does this sound familiar to you? I mean, food is a fun distraction. But, it was so different when I was at the camper. I never snacked there, and I was only rarely hungry. Why is it so different? Hit "listen now" to find out!

I don’t have to tell you that lockdown knocked us all back a few years in progress with not just our relationship food but our coping strategies in general. It was trash and the world was on fire and we were supposed to be able to talk about it and lean on one another for support. But, very few felt safe enough to do that and so there we all were reaching for food, wine, and online shopping. So, we're starting over and that is HARD. I've got you, mama. 

My job is to help women change their relationship with food. Even though food is an important part of my work with clients, there is a theme that comes up more than food and that is that we - women - are set up to fail. 

I speak about socialization a lot on this podcast and on any platform I’m given,
to be fair, because it needs to be spoken to be understood and it needs to be
understood to be changed - and I want it changed. Welcome to my feminist rant.

Comparison, competition, the patriarchy - we're covering it all.

I remember returning from my coaching session (remember, a million years ago when we used to meet with people in person and not on zoom?!). I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and was ready to prep and rock my first week. I did the prep, portioned out my meals and put sticky notes on my meals matching my meal schedule on the fridge. I felt like I was rocking life for about three days. On day four - I felt hunger for the first time in probably years, and I did not love it. 

Hunger triggered outright
panic in me. In hindsight, I can recognize that what I was experiencing was a
combination of physical discomfort and distrust of my ability to cope. I had a
limiting belief and it was this: I can’t control myself. Sound familiar?