Your face reveals the truth before your words do—Annie Särnblad unpacks how microexpressions expose deception and hidden emotions. Joining Dr. Z, she discusses the relationship between our facial expressions and emotional states, and offers insights that could change how you perceive everyday interactions.

What are microexpressions, and why do they matter? Annie explains that they are involuntary movements that reveal genuine emotions, often before we’re even aware of them. These universal signals can bridge gaps in understanding, but they also uncover uncomfortable truths, especially when dealing with deception or narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissists often mask their true feelings, yet their microexpressions can betray them. What does it mean when someone’s face shows arousal or excitement at another’s pain? Annie and Dr. Z explore how this subtle behavior reveals deeper emotional truths.

By learning to recognize these cues, you can better navigate challenging relationships and detect dishonesty more effectively. This episode invites you to see the hidden stories written on the faces you encounter.

Quotes

• “With a grown-up, you may be asking someone in front of you, ‘How are you feeling today?’ And they go, ‘Great.’ And they pucker their chin. Well, they’re not really feeling great. That’s their body leaking. The microexpression is a leakage of emotion.” (07:04 | Annie Särnblad)
• “When I see somebody actually showing arousal, joy, or getting a thrill, getting off on someone else’s suffering, that to me is a red flag that there may be some psychopathy.” (41:43 | Annie Särnblad)
• “That intuition that we get, that feeling in our gut, like, ‘I don’t like that person. I don’t know what it is. I can’t figure it out. They just creep me out.’ What we’re picking up on are microexpressions. Yes, and probably other things too, like smell, body language, tone of voice… I’m looking for the disconnect, where the facial expressions and the words aren’t matching. If that’s a consistent thing, this isn’t good. This is a big red flag to stay away. And you’re going to combine that with other pieces that just don’t match.” (48:48 | Dr. Z & Annie Särnblad)

Links

Connect with Annie Särnblad:

https://anniesarnblad.com

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/annie.sarnblad/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@anniesarnblad

https://anniesarnblad.com/book/

Annie has a new online course, the Reading Humans Masterclass. More information is here: https://anniesarnblad.com/courses/reading-humans-masterclass/

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

What manipulative tactics are used to maintain control and power over former partners once the relationship is over? In this episode, Dr. Z unpacks the emotional fallout of a breakup with a narcissist and tackles the fears that arise when they move on to someone new. Why does it feel like their new partner is getting the idealized version of them you tried so hard to keep? And what does this reveal about their behavior patterns?

Dr. Z explains the dynamics at play—from character assassination to love bombing— and how these behavior patterns are part of a cycle, not a transformation. She also covers practical strategies, like going no-contact and setting boundaries, to protect yourself from the emotional chaos narcissists create.

Is it worth you warning the narcissist’s new partner? Dr. Z shares why this often backfires and why the best way to reclaim your peace is by focusing on your own happiness and living your best life. This episode is a reminder that healing starts with understanding the function behind a narcissist’s actions and choosing to prioritize your well-being.

Quotes

• “One of the things I find with several of my patients is that there’s this fear, as irrational as they may know it is, that this new person is going to get this idealized version of your ex. Meaning, they’re going to get the ex that you spent the entire relationship trying to get back. That was the person who was love bombing you from the beginning of the relationship. That’s really what you were chasing the entire relationship: to get that back—what could you do to get that back? Sometimes it would be dangled in front of you, only to be taken away. You never knew when it was going to show up because there was no rhyme or reason, and that’s one of the things that kept you so locked into this toxic dynamic.” (01:56 | Dr. Z)
• “The narcissist can’t afford to have alone time. Why? Because a narcissist basically does not exist unless they have people in their orbit giving them supply. That’s their lifeline. Without that, they don’t exist. So, if they break up with you, or you break up with them, they’re never going to be alone. This is one reason for the high likelihood of infidelity—they need backup. They need someone in the wings should you leave, or they leave you. More likely than not, the narcissist had other people. And I’m talking about both men and women here, as women can be narcissists too. So, in most cases, there will be other people.” (06:10 | Dr. Z)
• “Somebody who is a narcissist is a narcissist always in every domain, in every aspect of their world.” (08:51 | Dr. Z)
• “The best form of response to a narcissist is to live your absolute best life.” (31:31 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“The abuser often maintains that facade of having it together and looking after their partner. It’s that image we tried to set up immediately,” says award-winning director Jack Stockley. He opens up about his true purpose behind his short film “Purgatory,” - to reveal the quiet devastation of coercive control in abusive relationships. By portraying the abuser as charming and well-composed, Jack exposes a disturbing duality that keeps the abused partner isolated and questioning their own reality. His film’s nuanced storytelling challenges viewers to see beyond appearances and recognize the silent suffering hidden beneath the surface.

In this episode, Jack joins Dr. Jaime Zuckerman to discuss the behavioral nuances of his film and the often subtle patterns of narcissistic abuse. How do you depict domestic violence without showing physical violence? And what makes coercive control so difficult to recognize, even when it’s happening right in front of us? Jack shares how “Purgatory” uses subtle details, such as visual cues and carefully crafted dialogue, to immerse viewers in the isolating, and often invisible, world of psychological abuse. This episode encourages us to look deeper into the patterns of narcissistic abuse, so that we can recognize red flags sooner. “Purgatory” is not only a compelling film but an essential conversation starter on the realities of narcissistic abuse.

Quotes

• “So you start the film questioning, ‘What’s her problem?’ Right from the beginning, it mirrors how many abusive relationships seem from the outside. You think, ‘Well, she’s a bit messy,’ or ‘He’s holding it all together.’ The abuser often maintains that facade of having it together and looking after their partner. It’s that image we try to set up immediately.” (08:44 | Jack Stockley)
• “When a woman leaves a narcissistic, abusive, grossly controlling relationship like that, the time she’s most at risk for harm to herself and her children is when she leaves—or if they find out that she’s going to leave, or right after she leaves. That’s the highest time for violence. So it isn’t simply a matter of just leaving; it’s about leaving safely.” (16:00 | Dr. Z)
• “As a storyteller, as a filmmaker, to me, those subtle details and nuances that convey coercive control and emotional abuse are the most important. It’s the lifeblood of the film because you have to make it.” (29:33 | Jack Stockley)
• “People don’t talk about the fact that rape can exist in a marriage. It can exist in any relationship. It’s not something that happens only between strangers in the park. It’s not a cliché, but people don’t talk about it. People don’t think that it’s a real thing.” (35:19 | Jack Stockley)

Links

Connect with Jack Stockley: Follow Jack Stockley on Instagram: @thereal_jps

Follow Blue Muse Productions on Instagram: @bluemuseproductions

Visit Blue Muse Productions YouTube channel to watch Purgatory: https://www.youtube.com/@BlueMuseProductions

Jack's newest short film - Flying - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jezw_c9UwQs

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm