In this conversation, Shaun sits down with adoptee and author Jay Barbanel to explore the complexities of identity, belonging, and healing through adoption.

Jay shares his unique story—from being adopted out of Costa Rica with his brother, to the traumatic separation that followed, to his later-life journey of rediscovering his roots. Through therapy, self-reflection, and a courageous search for answers, Jay reconnects with his biological family and ultimately redefines what “home” means.

This episode offers a nuanced look at adoption as both beautiful and painful, and encourages listeners to embrace the full spectrum of the adoptee experience.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Adoption is both beautiful and painful It doesn’t have to be one or the other—both can exist together in a healthy, meaningful way.
• Identity is always evolving Jay describes identity as a “revolving door”—something that changes as we choose what to hold onto.
• The importance of owning your story Every adoptee has a right to their full story—even the hard parts.
• Reunion is powerful, but emotionally complex Jay’s search for his biological family was life-changing, but also overwhelming and deeply intense.
• Healing requires openness and support Having safe people (friends, family, therapists) is essential when processing adoption experiences.
• Home is not always a place Home can be people, relationships, or even the understanding you develop of yourself.

About Our Guest

Jay Barbanel is an adoptee, speaker, and author of Finding Tico, a memoir that explores his journey of identity, trauma, and reunion.

Born in Costa Rica and adopted at age 3, Jay spent much of his life believing his adoption story was closed—until adulthood, when unexpected discoveries led him on a powerful search for his roots and reconnection with biological family.

He now shares his story to help others navigate identity, belonging, and personal healing.

Resources

• Finding Tico by Jay Barbanel
• FindingTico.com

In this episode, we hear from Bob Sutherland as he shares his powerful personal story of adoption, identity, and self-discovery. Bob reflects on his challenging upbringing, being raised by a religious Jewish crime family in Brooklyn, and later uncovering his biological roots through DNA testing. He walks us through his journey of becoming a successful creative professional and author, offering insights into resilience and personal growth. The conversation explores themes of family secrets, support systems, and the importance of embracing one’s true identity. Bob’s story highlights the strength it takes to navigate complex family dynamics and the healing that comes from understanding one’s past.

Bob's Book: A Potato in the Bagel Bin Kindle Edition

Download Memoir Here

In this episode, Diane Rosenblum shares her powerful journey of self-discovery, identity, and reconnection. Adopted in 1964 through a closed adoption, Diane shares how she uncovered her biological roots decades later through DNA testing and genealogical research. Her story touches on the emotional complexities of adoption, heartbreak, the healing power of art, and the importance of open communication and therapy in the adoption process.

Diane discussed the impact of closed adoptions, the trauma adoptees often face, and the transformative experience of reconnecting with biological family. Diane’s journey led her to her birth father, a fellow artist, and inspired a stunning collection of DNA-based paintings that reflect her evolving sense of identity.

🔗 Resources & Links:

• View Diane’s DNA paintings:
• Instagram: @dianerosenblum

In this episode, Edward Di Gangi recounts discovering his adoption status through personal documents and later reconnecting with his biological family. He shares a private adoption story, shaped by specific requirements, and a surprising discovery about his birth mother—a celebrity ice skater in the 1940s. Reflections on the emotional layers of adoption, including secrecy, identity, and the importance of open communication. Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all experience. This episode invites listeners to consider the importance of empathy, openness, and support for all voices in the adoption community.

https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Best-Given-Memoir/dp/1734757205

Emma opens up about her adoption story, growing up with loving parents who were transparent about the process. Her journey took a surprising turn when an Ancestry DNA test revealed her Jewish heritage, eventually leading to a heartfelt connection with her birth father. Emma reflects on how adoption shaped her identity, her sense of belonging, and her gratitude for life’s unique perspective. She candidly shares the joys and challenges of adoption, emphasizing the importance of open communication and support within the adoption community. For prospective adoptive parents, Emma offers wise advice: approach adoption with humility and a readiness to meet the child’s individual needs.

This National Adoption Month Book Club episode dives into the shocking true story of Georgia Tann, a once-celebrated American adoption pioneer who was, in fact, a baby trafficker. This book, written by Journalist Barbara Raymond, who uncovered this dark history, shares how Tann’s legacy continues to influence adoption laws and practices. We discuss Raymond’s book, “The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption,” with adoptee Heather Rodriguez. Tann operated in Memphis from 1924 to 1950, and stole thousands of children—many from poor or unwed mothers—and sold them to wealthy families, all while being protected by powerful political allies. Her actions helped shape modern American adoption, introducing secrecy and falsified records that still impact adoptees today.

In this special book club episode, we’re joined by adoptee Anna Lehnardt to discuss All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung—a powerful memoir about transracial adoption, identity, and the search for belonging. We explore themes of race, family, and truth as Nicole retraces her roots and confronts the myths she was told about her adoption. Anna offers her personal insights as an adoptee, and together we reflect on the emotional impact of Chung’s story and its relevance to the broader adoption community.

Email Anna at: adoptionliterate@gmail.com

In this episode, Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent, returns to the podcast, sharing her unique perspective from two sides of the adoption journey. She discusses her upcoming children’s books, which aim to offer authentic and balanced narratives for adoptees—especially those in LGBTQ+ families. Our conversation explores the representation of adoption in media, including books, movies, and television, and highlights the importance of creating sensitive, accurate content that resonates with and supports adoptees and children.

Visit her website here: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/

Visit her blogs here: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/blogs