Join the Remote Station Seven Debate League and compete to see who can argue in favor of the state better than anyone else. It’s also a great opportunity to uncover dissidents. Plus delicious snacks!

You cannot have free speech without unfree speech. You cannot have free thought without unfree thought. This is just the natural balance of the universe.

Want a free t-shirt? Why not join our Youth Truth Squad? Join your peers in marauding citizens with Approved Opinions and get one of our stylish t-shirts that will prove you are part of the crowd!

You have the right to forfeit your rights. That is your ultimate right as a citizen.

Is your work not fulfilling? Who are you doing your work for? Yourself or the good of the state? Don’t allow selfishness to dominate your work ethic. Any work for the good of the state is fulfilling work.

Our new Missing Pets announcements broadcast is not meant to imply that we will also offer a Missing Persons announcements broadcast, since there are no missing people as government statistics on the subject have repeatedly shown.

Fun fact: The free flow of information will create a tidal wave that will pummel your being as you drown in the depths of your so-called freedom.

Perhaps you’d like to know our official history. This information is classified. Please refrain from your current activities under penalty of law.