Breaking the Cycle: Understanding Reenactments and Thematic Triggers

How to Identify and Heal Your Triggers

Breaking trauma-driven patterns through the lens of "Reenactments" with Dr. Tony Iezzi.

The subconscious repetition of past trauma themes (not just events) in everyday situations. Triggers are often thematic (e.g., feeling disrespected or unvalued) rather than incident-based.

• Symptoms vs. Roots: Overeating or workaholism are symptoms; the root is often childhood messaging.
• The Workplace Mirror: Professional conflicts are frequently reenactments of family dynamics.
• Approach > Avoid: Healing requires "finding your voice" and acting differently than your habit.

In this insightful dialogue, Dr. Tony Iezzi, a clinical psychologist with over 35 years of experience, explores the concept of "reenactments"—the subconscious ways we replay past traumas and sensitivities in our daily lives.

The discussion provides a framework for identifying "thematic triggers" and offers practical strategies for breaking unhealthy patterns in both personal and professional communication.

Key Takeaways:
- how we decode childhood messaging
- when parents pass down their unresolved histories
- what "polyvictimization" means
- treating symptoms rather than the root cause
- the 4-Step Healing Framework
- how to recognize when you are in a reenactment
- calming your nervous system
- moving from "avoidance" to "approach"
- workplace reenactments and how to reclaim our voice

...and so much more!

Connect with Tony:
Website: https://tonyiezzi.com

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
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YouTube: https://youtu.be/Dg7RTrVZo3E

Why do we speak in public? What is the purpose of delivering those messages?

Meet Kelly Charles-Collins!

Kelly is a former attorney who practiced law for 29 years. She is a Keynote Speaker, Corporate Trainer, Author, Mentor and is on a mission to create inclusive cultures where every person & every voice matters.

Kelly believes that conversations change things and that open hearts, change minds; one convo at a time. However, too often, managers and employees lack the skills to effectively listen, communicate, and ultimately lead - which is bad for business.

Kelly works with organizations looking to cultivate safe, inclusive, and accountable cultures where every person & every voice matters. She also works with experts to position them to land corporate training contracts. As a speaker and trainer, she shows up and show out delivering engaging, enlightening, practical, and actionable programs that activate, shift, and transform.

As a trial attorney, Kelly honed her ability to analyze and synthesize information, actively listen, formulate and ask the right questions, and communicate effectively with people of all cultural and socio-economic levels. Her commitment to respect, equity, accountability, and women's empowerment guides her as she leverages her “Un”factor - the analytical skills of a seasoned lawyer and the heart of an advocate for change. As a skilled speaker, attorney, trainer, arbitrator, and mediator, she delivers solutions that activate, shift, and transform.

Listen as Kelly walks us through her journey of how the legal profession prepared her for a career in public speaking.

Key Points:
- Reverse-engineering your message for clarity and impact
- The importance of understanding your audience
- Techniques to overcome the fear of public speaking
- The distinction between preparing and memorizing a speech
- Strategies for ensuring lasting change post-corporate training
- Navigating unconscious bias and the bystander effect
- Tips for leaders on handling tough conversations effectively

...and so much more!

📋 Episode Chapters

(00:00) This podcast focuses on improving your communication skills both professionally and personally
(01:02) Eric Girard is your leadership coach and host of Unlocked podcast
(01:52) Steve Girard focuses on helping new managers make transition from individual contributors to people managers
(02:34) When you were in Silicon Valley, you were doing the management development
(06:48) When talking about coaching and feedback, do leaders think in the managers they coach
(13:06) Your book is called lead like a pro, the essential guide for new managers
(14:14) As a new manager, you need to build your empathy muscles
(17:23) The second piece is about making a mindful transition from individual contributor to manager
(19:42) Should you get a mentor within the organization you're in or somebody external
(25:41) This podcast is all about new managers and how to help them
(27:32) Eric Girard offers advice to new managers on how to deal with difficult situations
(28:47) The speaking and communicating podcast is part of the b podcast network

Connect with Kelly:
Website: https://kellycharlescollins.com
Website: www.oppspeakerplaybook.com
Website: www.getknownandpaid.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellycharlescollins/
TEDx Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_charles_collins_the_bystander_effect_why_some_people_act_and_others_don_t

Listen to the Podcast, leave a rating and a review on:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-public-speaking-is-important-w-kelly-charles-collins/id1614151066?i=1000622381978
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2SDrPif9KTDLG5gqpK1m97
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5PnpnqYU1Q

How difficult is it to have difficult conversations?

Meet Maren Perry!

Our conversation with Maren Perry, founder of Arden Coaching, zooms in on the essential leadership skill of navigating difficult conversations. It explores why leaders shy away from discomfort and provides a strategic framework for delivering feedback that fosters growth rather than resentment.

The Courage to Lead Through Conflict

Difficult conversations are often the "gift" that organizations need most but receive least. Most people avoid these interactions because they fear discomfort or worry about damaging relationships. However, true leadership is defined by the courage to engage in these moments rather than shying away from them. When leaders avoid tough talks, it creates a systemic ripple effect that impacts performance and trust across the entire organization.

Strategic Framework: The 5 Cs

To navigate these conversations effectively, Perry introduces the "5 Cs" framework, emphasizing two critical components: Collaboration and Clarity.

• Collaborative Approach: Instead of confronting someone "across the table," a leader should sit on the "same side" as the employee. This involves checking one's own intent—ensuring the feedback is meant to support, not embarrass—and asking for permission to share observations.
• Radical Clarity: Leaders must avoid "hedging their bets" or using overly tentative language. Being "kind but clear" ensures the recipient understands exactly what happened and what needs to change, without leaving the room confused.

Call-to-Action

• Practice the "5 Cs" framework to develop the skill and mindset required for tough talks.
• Visit ardencoaching.com/arden8 to download the white paper on the eight essential leadership dimensions.
• Schedule regular one-on-one meetings to build rapport and understand team members' individual sensitivities.
• Shift the internal narrative of difficult conversations from "conflict" to "the core job of a leader."

Connect with Maren:
Website: https://ardencoaching.com/

FREE Resources:
The Arden 8 Leadership Dimensions

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-a-guide-for/id1614151066?i=1000762404844
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/08PdMuO3pK7OP90RTZ8P3W?si=2LSL92VsR_CR7v661CX15g
https://open.spotify.com/episode/08PdMuO3pK7OP90RTZ8P3W
YouTube: https://youtu.be/4Q49OdB0jj4

How do you shape company culture?

Meet Jim Tracy!

Jim Tracy is a high-energy Speaker, Author, Podcaster, Emcee and Entrepreneur. He is also a business founder and owner with 3 + decades of experience in building value. This has been done in both for profit and not for profit enterprises across contrasting industries.

Jim is a high demand keynote speaker on culture and generational harmony. His focus is on bringing people together to build team and enterprise value.

Connect with Jim:
Website: https://thejimtracy.com

Additional Resources:
The Grampion Podcast by Jim Tracy

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-do-leaders-influence-workplace-culture-w-jim-tracy/id1614151066?i=1000761325865
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NbMuXkzvA5kuY2XIBJvo5?si=8D5igMqXTZ23RATVos3APA
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NbMuXkzvA5kuY2XIBJvo5
YouTube: https://youtu.be/eF_sXhf3uIc

Connect with Ashmita:
Website: https://www.ashmitaarora.com

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-you-struggle-to-manifest-w-ashmita-arora/id1614151066?i=1000759482145
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ch16Sh2fASPIjvJtRUgR4?si=tCFrl--ESaSRAaNX1r_Z1w
YouTube: https://youtu.be/osFF_f4dHzM

The Real Blueprint to Management Mastery that nobody talks about.

Meet Greg Kaiser, Sr.!

In this powerful episode of the Speaking and Communicating Podcast, we break down what it really takes to be successful at management with communication skills.

💡 In this episode, you’ll discover:
- The truth about management most people ignore
- How to shift from individual contributor to effective manager
- The mindset that unlocks real growth and leadership unlocked
- Why traditional advice keeps people stuck
- Why so many managers just "wing it"
- What exactly is culture?

...and so much more!

🎯 Who This Episode Is For:
Entrepreneurs and aspiring business owners
Professionals feeling stuck or unfulfilled
Anyone seeking clarity, purpose, and growth

If you enjoyed this episode: ⭐ Leave a 5-star review
📤 Share it with a friend

Connect with Greg:
Website: https://www.managementmastery.solutions
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/greg-kaiser-sr-4512551?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=android_app

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-managers-need-good-communication-skills-w-greg/id1614151066?i=1000758175084
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3OtHJpT1svTlF3y7bqFQKS?si=nu3UYjINTGGsYCQr1FRxMw
YouTube: https://youtu.be/6jsppSO7mF4?si=O9-T8WT0jDIKSTR-

How can emotional intelligence transform your leadership style?

In this episode of the Speaking and Communicating Podcast, we dive into the essential leadership skills and soft skills required to lead people effectively in the modern workplace.
​
Many professionals excel technically but struggle with the "people" side of management.

Developing high emotional intelligence (EQ) is the secret to building trust, resolving conflict, and increasing team productivity.

If you want to move from being a manager to a true leader, this conversation is for you.
​
In this episode, you will learn:
- ​What is Emotional Intelligence? A breakdown of EQ for leaders.
​
- Effective Leadership: How to use empathy to drive results.

​- Communication for Teams: Improving your interpersonal skills at work.
​
- Conflict Resolution: Managing difficult conversations with confidence.
​
About Our Guest:
Sheyna James joins us to share her expertise on leadership and how leaders can fix challenges that cost them.

​Key Moments:
– Introduction to Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
– Why EQ matters more than IQ for career growth
– Practical tips for improving your self-awareness
– How to lead with empathy without losing authority
– Final advice for aspiring global leaders

​#LeadershipSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #PublicSpeaking #SoftSkills #CareerGrowth #CommunicationPodcast

Connect with Sheyna:
Website: https://www.sheynajamesconsulting.com/

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership-w-sheyna-james/id1614151066?i=1000756721851
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3TizKL7X1pzkbgrENEuxiT?si=IrvtX8B8Tcy-_nUQS49piA
https://open.spotify.com/show/3OtHJpT1svTlF3y7bqFQKS
YouTube: https://youtu.be/9u2dMlQAuEw

What skills do Founders and Startup CEOs need in order to succeed?

Meet Andrew Poles!

Andrew Poles, Founder and CEO of Andrew Poles Growth Coaching.

He is a Transformative Coach for first time Founders.

With 20 years coaching over 10000 people, Andrew has guided leader transformations—revitalizing businesses, empowering teams, and boosting profitability.

Connect with Andrew:
Website: https://andrewpoles.com

Additional Resources:
"FREE Download"

Listen to the Podcast, subscribe, leave a rating and a review:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/key-leadership-skills-how-to-lead-people-and/id1614151066?i=1000755513469
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/35M6BeL1wwnes3ApKCbVBZ?si=LVN5eMADSBa-cpcZvdhzcw
https://open.spotify.com/episode/35M6BeL1wwnes3ApKCbVBZ
YouTube: https://youtu.be/cgOIkkQZjhQ