(Trigger warning: miscarriage, domestic violence)

What happens to a stepmum when the whole family system is in survival mode?
When there’s court, withheld contact, trauma, ASD needs, transition day meltdowns, and a partner trying to hold everything together with guilt-soaked hands?

In today’s episode, Jean (not her real name) shares her raw, complex and human journey on Stepmum Space.

Across this conversation we explore:

• What it’s like to fall in love with someone whose ex weaponises contact
• How ASD, trauma, and loyalty binds shape a child’s behaviour
• The emotional toll of being blamed for things that never happened
• Step-sibling dynamics when both partners bring a child into the relationship
• The guilt, resentment and relief stepmums rarely say out loud
• How to stay connected to your partner through the chaos
• Why stepmums often think “maybe they’d be better off without me” — and how to move past it
• When the ex blocks therapy: what it does to the child and the stepmum
• How to stay connected to your partner through chaos
• The surprising moments that helped rebuild trust, safety and calm
• What children really understand about conflict, loyalty binds, and transitions

Jean speaks openly about miscarriages, trauma responses, domestic abuse in the wider system, and the ripple effects that land in a stepmum’s lap—often silently, often without choice.

This episode gives you:

• Emotional reassurance
• Practical insights
• A deeper understanding of trauma behaviours
• A real-life story of survivable — and workable — blended family chaos
• Permission to feel what you’re feeling

🔥 If this episode hit a nerve… The January Stepmum Reset Workshop is for you.

If you’re listening and thinking:

• “This is my life.”
• “I’m exhausted from trying to keep the peace.”
• “I love my partner, but the system is breaking me.”
• “I want 2026 to feel different.”

Then the Stepmum Reset Workshop is the space you’ve been craving.The workshop is practical, psychologically grounded, and genuinely transformative. Spaces are limited.
Book at stepmumspace.com

💛 Connect with Stepmum Space

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Podcast: Stepmum Space
Work with Katie: www.stepmumspace.com

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High-conflict exes, clashing house rules and an ours baby — today’s episode goes deep into the reality of stepfamily life. If you’re a stepmum feeling overwhelmed, anxious or alone, this one will speak straight to you.

Katie talks with Jane (name changed), a stepmum navigating secrecy for safety, court cases, three stepchildren, and a new baby, all while trying to build a stable home anchored in values and routines. Jane shares how belonging grows slowly, how she built trust through small consistent cues (hair plaits, dinners together, practical help), and how she learned to hold boundaries without absorbing the emotion of hostile messages.

They explore loyalty binds, two-home rules, the pressure of a contact schedule that takes every weekend, and the emotional load of loving someone with a complicated history.

In this episode:

• Loving your partner and the past they carry
• Secrecy, safety and contact from a distance
• Gradual attachment to stepchildren
• Belonging cues (plaits, shared meals, helping)
• Clashing values across two homes
• Living by a custody schedule + protecting couple time
• Boundaries with a hostile ex
• Sharing hard truths with kids
• Welcoming an ours baby + forming new identity

Perfect for:
Stepmums in high-conflict situations • overwhelmed by instability • new stepmums • anyone struggling with boundaries, anxiety or slow-growing attachment.

The Stepmum Reset Workshop
Feel clearer, calmer and more in control.
👉 Book now: stepmumspace.com

Prefer self-paced? See all workbooks under All Products on the site.

To join the Stepmum Space Workshop visit www.stepmumspace.com

Support the show

Book your place on The Stepmum Reset now: https://stepmumspace.com

Episode Summary

In this episode, Katie talks to Claire — an independent woman who fell deeply in love with her partner… and his three children. While Claire adores the kids, navigating the dynamic with their mum and the emotional load of stepfamily life has been far harder than she expected.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, out of control, or unsure where your boundaries should be, this conversation will make you feel truly seen.

In this episode, Katie and Claire explore:

• loving the kids but finding dynamics with their mum difficult
• biting your tongue more than anyone realises
• losing yourself while trying to hold everything together
• feeling like your life is shaped by other people’s decisions
• the emotional toll of being endlessly flexible
• why boundaries aren’t optional for stepmums
• how to reconnect with yourself when everything feels chaotic

A raw, validating conversation every stepmum will relate to.

Key Topics

• feeling out of control
• high-conflict or tense co-parenting dynamics
• silent emotional load
• boundaries when you’re not the biological parent
• resentment, guilt, overwhelm and burnout
• staying grounded and connected to yourself

The Stepmum Reset Workshop

If you’re thinking, “I can’t keep going like this,” The Stepmum Reset is for you.

This two-part workshop gives you the tools, language, boundaries and clarity to feel more in control.

Next dates:
26th November and 6th December
7:15–8:45pm UK Time
Live on Zoom
Small group, compassionate, safe

You’ll leave with:

• a personalised wellbeing and boundary plan
• tools that ease overwhelm
• clarity on what’s yours to hold — and what isn’t
• strategies for asking for what you need
• a community of women who truly get it

Book your place: https://stepmumspace.com

Or email: katie@stepmumspace.com

Perfect For

• overwhelmed stepmums
• women drained by the ex-partner dynamic
• stepmums struggling with boundaries
• high-conflict co-parenting situations
• those feeling anxious, invisible or resentful
• new stepmums needing validation and reassurance

Helpful Links

The Stepmum Reset: https://stepmumspace.com

Instagram: @stepmumspace
1:1 and Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com/booking

Final Note

You are not alone.
You are not doing it wrong.
Your feelings are valid — and there is support that makes this feel lighter.

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