Christmas is when stepfamily pressure peaks — and for many Stepmums, it’s when the “perfect blended family” myth hurts the most.

In this episode, I’m joined by Courtney, a stepmum in Australia navigating 50/50 care with two stepkids (14 and 12). Courtney shares a raw, honest account of what happened when the other household’s new partner became highly involved — and how panic, comparison, and control slowly escalated co-parenting tension, affected her relationship, and left her stuck in fight/flight.

This episode explores accountability without shame, emotional reactivity, and the shift from “What do they think of me?” to “What do I want my role to be?”

✨ This is our last episode of the year — we’ll be back in January.

What we cover

• The emotional toll of stepmum life (and why it surprises so many women)
• When a new stepparent “takes over” — and why it’s so triggering
• Fairness, resentment, and the “here we go again” spiral
• How co-parenting conflict leaks into the stepcouple relationship
• Fight/flight responses and nervous system overwhelm
• Letting go without feeling like you’re “losing”

Key takeaways for stepmums

• You’re not “too sensitive” — your stress response is information
• Trying to control the other household often increases exhaustion
• Kids’ silence can lead stepmums to overthink and over-function
• You can own missteps without living in self-blame
• Role clarity starts with your values, not others’ perceptions

Chapters / timestamps

00:00 – Intro + Christmas chat
01:46 – Courtney’s family setup
03:30 – “I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll”
06:10 – What changed when the other household had a baby
08:20 – The new stepdad’s involvement
11:10 – Loyalty binds + “you’re just Courtney”
13:48 – Wanting to matter (slowly)
15:25 – Panic, control, and the group chat
19:20 – Decisions made without consultation
21:58 – When it hit Courtney’s wellbeing
24:40 – Home as safe space
27:25 – Do the kids know?
30:34 – Partner conflict + “here we go again”
32:11 – Fight/flight/freeze
36:44 – “I wouldn’t force my role”
39:05 – Letting go of perception
44:02 – Closing reflections

Support mentioned (January)

Feeling reactive, exhausted, or stuck?

The Stepmum Reset Workshop – 23rd January
Small group, practical tools, calmer nervous system, clearer boundaries.
Just a few spots left.

1:1 coaching for stepmums
Couples coaching for stepcouples

www.stepmumspace.com

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If this episode helped, please follow or subscribe and leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it really helps other stepmums find this support.

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If you’re juggling a high-conflict ex, 50/50 schedules or loyalty binds, this one’s for you. Katie talks to Lauren, a Scottish stepmum who reconnected with her high-school love—now a dad of three with two exes—and built a calm, child-centred blended family through clear boundaries, parallel parenting and a truly united couple stance.

We cover: meeting kids at their pace, handling retaliation without taking the bait (haircuts, earrings & house rules), why a written agreement beats a verbal one, transitions in a 50/50 schedule, and keeping sibling connections strong across big age gaps. Lauren also shares choosing not to have biological children—and still feeling like a whole family.

Next steps: 1:1 coaching, the January Stepmum Reset Workshop, and downloadable tools at stepmumspace.com.

Timestamps:
00:03 Intro & themes
02:10 How the blended family began
07:40 Meeting each child at their pace
10:22 “You’re the boss of your own hair” (child agency)
16:18 Retaliation & staying out of the drama
20:18 What supportive partners actually do
25:53 Mediation + written agreement (game-changer)
31:18 Transitions without loyalty binds
32:47 Sibling dynamics (18/18/7)
35:44 Choosing not to have bio kids
37:45 Advice for struggling stepmums

Keywords: stepmum support, blended family, parallel parenting, high-conflict ex, custody agreement, 50/50 schedule, stepmum boundaries, mediation, withheld access, stepfamily transitions

Links/CTA:
• Book a free intro for 1:1 coaching • Join the January Stepmum Reset Workshop • Download tools for tricky moments → stepmumspace.com
Socials: @stepmumspace

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(Trigger warning: miscarriage, domestic violence)

What happens to a stepmum when the whole family system is in survival mode?
When there’s court, withheld contact, trauma, ASD needs, transition day meltdowns, and a partner trying to hold everything together with guilt-soaked hands?

In today’s episode, Jean (not her real name) shares her raw, complex and human journey on Stepmum Space.

Across this conversation we explore:

• What it’s like to fall in love with someone whose ex weaponises contact
• How ASD, trauma, and loyalty binds shape a child’s behaviour
• The emotional toll of being blamed for things that never happened
• Step-sibling dynamics when both partners bring a child into the relationship
• The guilt, resentment and relief stepmums rarely say out loud
• How to stay connected to your partner through the chaos
• Why stepmums often think “maybe they’d be better off without me” — and how to move past it
• When the ex blocks therapy: what it does to the child and the stepmum
• How to stay connected to your partner through chaos
• The surprising moments that helped rebuild trust, safety and calm
• What children really understand about conflict, loyalty binds, and transitions

Jean speaks openly about miscarriages, trauma responses, domestic abuse in the wider system, and the ripple effects that land in a stepmum’s lap—often silently, often without choice.

This episode gives you:

• Emotional reassurance
• Practical insights
• A deeper understanding of trauma behaviours
• A real-life story of survivable — and workable — blended family chaos
• Permission to feel what you’re feeling

🔥 If this episode hit a nerve… The January Stepmum Reset Workshop is for you.

If you’re listening and thinking:

• “This is my life.”
• “I’m exhausted from trying to keep the peace.”
• “I love my partner, but the system is breaking me.”
• “I want 2026 to feel different.”

Then the Stepmum Reset Workshop is the space you’ve been craving.The workshop is practical, psychologically grounded, and genuinely transformative. Spaces are limited.
Book at stepmumspace.com

💛 Connect with Stepmum Space

Instagram: @stepmumspace
TikTok: @stepmumspace
Podcast: Stepmum Space
Work with Katie: www.stepmumspace.com

🎧 If you found this episode helpful…

Please follow, rate, or leave a review. It helps more stepmums find this support—and you never know who needs to hear this today.

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