If I asked most people “Have you ever heard of The Rosenbergs?” the honest answer would be a blank stare and a polite “Uh… no.” That’s not an insult. That’s the whole damn point.
David Fagin, the band’s lead singer, just published *Confessions of a Musical Masochist*, and it is the perfect autopsy of a career that came this close a hundred times and still somehow never quite made the leap. Near-hits. Spectacular near-misses. The kind of stories that make you laugh until you wince.
I actually knew these guys. Heard them. Met them. Crossed paths enough times that reading the teaser felt like someone had stolen pages out of my own notebook. Opening for Duran Duran one minute, playing in a Duran Duran tribute band at a Duran Duran after-party the next. Sitting in Howard Stern’s green room for two hours while Gene Simmons just… sat there, until somebody finally decided that maybe that was a problem. Driving Echo & the Bunnymen around (something Fagin and I both did, in different parts of the same tour). The almosts pile up until they become the story itself.
Fagin doesn’t sugarcoat it. This is a cautionary tale dressed up as comedy. The music business will chew you up, spit you out, and then ask if you’d like to open for the tribute band version of yourself. I’ve heard the same warning from people inside U2’s orbit. Hell, I’ve given the warning myself. And still none of us stay away.
Talent, it turns out, is not the secret. If it were, half the bands you’ve never heard of would be headlining stadiums and half the ones you have heard of would be working day jobs. Whatever the actual secret is, Fagin doesn’t claim to have found it. He just shows you, in brutal, funny detail, how many different ways there are to miss it.
*Confessions of a Musical Masochist* is required reading for anyone who still thinks the music industry is a meritocracy. It’s also weirdly respectful of the people who keep throwing themselves at that wall anyway. Because some of us just can’t help it.
Even when we know better.
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