I woke early the next morning, long before the sun had risen. I was cold. I was cold, confused and lonely. And Hinweisgeber’s words from the night before still chased themselves around my head, “He’s changed. He’s different.” How had my father changed? How was he different? Would he look the same? Would he sound the same? Suddenly, another question – a particularly unwelcome question - lodged itself in my mind. Would he remember me?

It was too much for me; I couldn’t bear the prospect that I may see my father again only to have him not recognise me. With a sob, I slipped out of bed and shuffled bleary-eyed to the door. Pushing it open I came out onto the landing. Barely awake, I tried to remember which room was which. Handeln was in the room next to mine and next to him was Manquer, which left mother in the room opposite mine. I approached the door, reached for the handle and paused. I could hear hushed voices from behind the door. Was Hinweisgeber inside talking to my mother? Preparing her for what we would find in Nirvaasan. I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t want to eavesdrop but I wanted to speak to my mother; I was lonely. Unsure what to do, I pressed my ear to the door to hear whether it was acceptable for me to intrude.

“I’m sorry, I never knew. They never told me.” It was my mother’s voice. Who was she apologising to? Who never told her what? I fought back the urge to throw the door open.

“I was there waiting.” It was Manquer. “I waited for two years. Two years I waited for you. Do you have any idea what it was like?” I heard a muffled sob through the door. “I – I -. You were the only one.”

“I’m sorry,” my mother’s voice again – low and strained, “If I’d known, I’d have been there. The world couldn’t have stopped me.”

“He could though,” Manquer replied bitterly. “He did. He stopped you from getting that message.”

“I’m sorry,” my mother was sobbing now, “If I’d known, I would have been there. I – I – felt the same way. I always felt the same way. I – I – I feel that way still.”

“Hello little goblin,” Handeln’s gruff voice came from behind me; loudly as though hoping to be heard from behind the door. “Are you alright there?”

“I -” I turned to him, and unable to look him in the eye I started to cry.

“C-mere little goblin,” Handeln pulled me into a warm embrace. “We’ve nearly made it. We’ve nearly got back to your old father. Only a couple of hours now and you’ll have your father back.”

This didn’t help and I sobbed all the more until the door opened and my mother stood over us.

“Darling,” she said in a quavering voice. “Whatever’s the matter?” When she knelt down to pull me close to her, I couldn’t help but notice: how wet her cheeks were; how red her eyes were and I couldn’t help but feel that my distress was not the only cause.

A short while later, once I’d managed to stop crying we ascended - as a four - to the room we had eaten in the night before to see Hinweisgeber already waiting for us.

“My dear guests,” Hinweisgeber began as we entered the room. “You must accept my apologies. I fear my tale caused much upset last night. Please take this.” Hinweisgeber passed us each a loaf of bread. “Eat this and know that it will give you strength. Now, we don’t have much time so listen to me closely. The elves will be coming here shortly. No, don’t interrupt me. I will hold them for as long as I am able. Descend the staircase. All the way until you are beneath the roots of my home. There you will find a door. Behind the door is a tunnel. The way will be dark but you will pass through.” As these last words were spoken, Hinweisgeber eyes seemed to linger awkwardly upon me.

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