We watched SANTA STOLE OUR DOG...

We really regret it

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Our esteemed hosts take a magical trip into THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS, a movie set in the wonderful world of stopmotion! And the fantastical world of 1974, where the idea of Mrs Claus taking over for Santa is disgustingly laughable.

We also get some boss ass new additions to the Christmas mythology, we find out if Mickey Rooney can sing, and learn that Santa is pathetic male scum and have labelled him officially on blast.

This episode also features a stunning live musical performance from a special guest:

"That is better than any piece of theatre I've seen in my entire life" - Margaret Thanos.

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A celebrated return of Margaret's recent trip abroad with A NEW YORK CHRISTMAS WEDDING - the biggest red herring of a film title we've ever experienced.

Is there a New York Christmas Wedding? Yes there is - but there is also: Alternate Timelines, Gay Guardian Angels, a truly jaw-dropping twist... no hyperbole, it is shocking... and a mysterious 5th hand that has appeared to support two queer women in their sex life...

(AJ tried to put up an image of the mysterious 5th hand as the cover art but it just looked like porn...)

Anyway. We loved this movie: highly recommend.

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A significant part of the Christmas canon of characters is missing from Margaret's knowledge! Amends must be made. Time to engage with the father of frights, the naysayer of naughtiness... Krampus from the 2015 film KRAMPUS.

Three writers who didn't talk to each other, or one auteur have come together to make this fever dream of a film which straddles the line between scary and horny, continues a cinematic universe and gives us one hell of a tongue.

Disclaimer: We intended to release this on Halloween 2024... that didn't happen, forgive us.

Disclaimer #2: Margaret asks at one point for AJ to put the bell from Santa Jaws and the bell from Krampus side by side... that's way too much work, but AJ did go and listen to them and can assure you they sound nothing alike. No apologies given.

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It's episode 12! And following on from recent events in Exmas, AJ has taken on the task of finding Margaret a new man and has no less than 12 candidates to offer in THE 12 MEN OF CHRISTMAS.

A thrilling episode that features our DEFINITIVE ranking of said 12 men, a shocking return appearance and a woman who has seriously misunderstood a calendar (or maybe she hasn't...)

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AJ has relented and allowed a watch of a well-regard Christmas classic, but perhaps it's too late. Perhaps the damage is done...

It's fair to say nobody else has watched the 1983 classic: A CHRISTMAS STORY with the lens that they have, and they know this because shortly after recording this they looked it up and discovered that nobody is thinking about this movie in this way... at all... but the path to enlightenment is one less travelled.

So please enjoy two people who have already been watching Christmas films for too long treat this family-friendly holiday movie as a sacred religious text.

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Margaret has been through a break-up, and AJ has the answer. What could be better than a watch of the Buzzfeed movie - EXMAS. Could a new tradition be forming? Let us hope not.

Nevertheless they are here to dissect fruity orgies, THICK butter and our new rizz king - Brady.

It is also the introduction of an electrifying new segment: Bin Chat.

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The depraved depths of the Christmas canon have begun to make themselves known, as Margaret and AJ have stumbled across a movie called Santa Jaws. A movie that at the very least can say it delivers on what it promises. And so too our brave hosts will deliver on investigating this newly discovered relic for you.

Together they query if the shark is a lesbian, if elves will ever be allowed to just sink beers in peace, and if life is actually better inside the belly of the shark.

Oh yeah... this one broke them a bit.

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