Ready to stop emotional outsourcing and start owning your worth in dating and beyond? If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or the exhausting cycle of codependency, this episode will feel like a deep exhale. Lily invites her brilliant friend and colleague, Victoria Albina, to explore what it takes to recognize the patterns that no longer serve you and break free from them—so you can finally show up as the main character in your life.

Through an intersectional feminist lens, Victoria redefines the trope of codependency as “emotional outsourcing,” helping us see how it impacts not just our relationships but how we exist in the world. Together, they explore how our nervous system shapes our sense of safety and belonging, offering practical tools for reconnecting with self-love and grounding in our voice and intentions.

We get into:

• How emotional outsourcing holds you back from being your authentic self
• The three essential emotional needs: safety, belonging, and worth
• An in-depth look at the nervous system and its role in fight, flight, fawn, and freeze responses
• Grounding techniques to help you reconnect with self-love and intention
• How to expand your capacity for feeling good, seen, and safe

Links:

✨ Register for The Late Bloomer's Guide to a Confident Holiday Season

Victoria’s website

Victoria on Instagram

Feminist Wellness

Free meditations from Victoria for Date Brazen Listeners: VictoriaAlbina.com/lily

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/healing-from-codependency-with-victoria-albina

I’m diving into how to care for yourself when life feels heavy. If you’re feeling drained or disappointed post-election—or really, after any tough experience—I’m here with a simple but powerful framework to help you reclaim your energy.

In this episode, I’ll guide you through the SOFT practice: Self-compassion, Owning your needs, Feeling your feelings, and Thoughts, not facts. I’ll share practical tools, like Dr. Kristin Neff’s self-compassion meditation, to help you navigate challenging times with more grace.

Whether it’s political stress or personal struggles, this episode is for anyone who needs a reminder that you deserve care, kindness, and support.

Links:

Free 5-minute self-compassion medication from Dr. Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/

The Loveland Foundation: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/

We’re airing a popular episode about claiming your essence-based preferences. Lily takes you through what essence-based preferences are, how they can transform your dating life, how to know if you’re being too rigid, and how to create them for yourself. This is a juicy episode you’ll want to come back to again and again!

Hot-takes and How-tos from this episode:

• How do you know if you're being too "rigid"

• Essence-based preferences can apply to everything that you want

• Figure out how to get to the root of what you want by crafting your personal love-life vocabulary

Links:
Main Character Dating (formerly Brazen Breakthrough)
Episode 26: How to navigate money in your dating life
Follow Date Brazen on TikTok