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  • "I Don't Want To Sleep With You": Navigating a Disappointing Herpes Disclosure: Rejection vs Decision

    "I Don't Want To Sleep With You": Navigating a Disappointing Herpes Disclosure: Rejection vs Decision
    2024/05/07
    Here's the shocking thing about herpes- it's not a big deal. No really, it's not a big deal. It can seem that if you have herpes, that is just the story you need to tell yourself to make the sting of having an STI feel better. But here's the thing about having herpes, or any STI; suddenly you are forced into a world that is unfamiliar, and so you LEARN. You read. Research. Educate yourself. And suddenly you are shocked to learn that truly, this is not a big deal. After my diagnosis I thought my dating life was over. I knew nothing about herpes other than what I learned in a severely lacking education system that consistently fails us with sexual health information, and of course media. And so my scared little mind was flooded with the horrible images from google, the mean jokes I heard from movies and television, the jokes I heard from social settings. But then I educated myself, because suddenly this was MINE. I dove into the world of herpes information- everything from the CDC, WHO, social media accounts, magazine articles. If I am being honest, I thought I was going to be doom scrolling, reading horrible information that was going to validate my feelings of fear. Instead, I was faced with so many facts that blew my mind. I had NO clue what a large portion of the world's population has herpes. I had no clue that having herpes did not, in fact, mean the you were suddenly walking around with a constant herpes outbreak. I was shocked to discover how little of an impact it truly has on a person's everyday life, and especially their dating life. There is a sense of empowerment when you realize those scary feelings were silly. That you are going to be ok. It is not that hard to turn it all around and feel quite confident with your diagnosis. And you will see that confidence, and positivity, everywhere throughout the sexual health social media accounts and media articles. And that is truly fucking FABULOUS. But this is where I casually stand up to insert a little HOWEVER in all this fabulousness.... While it is SO important to know that you are going to be ok with your diagnosis. That you are going to have a great and active dating life if you choose to. That your life is going to be barely affected by your herpes. It is also SO important to know that sometimes, it just fucking sucks. AND THAT IS OK. Seriously friend, it is ok if you feel like a badass with your herpes diagnosis, and also cry about your herpes diagnosis. I have had a very active and successful dating life since my diagnosis almost 6 years ago. I barely think about. I can easily and comfortably admit that I still get incredibly nervous when I have to have the disclosure discussion with a new partner, but I also get incredibly nervous when I have to talk to the lady at the cash register in the grocery store, so there's that. But I still can stand on pretty firm footing with my positivity and confidence while living with a positive status. But sometimes that confidence gets rocked. And it feels uncomfortable. And I think of some of the sexual health accounts I follow online, and all of their positivity surrounding herpes, and I feel almost ashamed that I am feeling bad about myself because of my diagnosis. It makes me feel alone. My goal is to make sure you truly know that having an STI is NOT a big deal, but that also, sometimes it DOES hurt. And that is so damn ok. And you are not alone if you are feeling this. And there is nothing wrong with feeling this. You are not alone- the thing is, most people just don't talk about the other side of things. Those damn uncomfortable things. So dammit, let's just get snuggled into the discomfort for a minute! Let's have a cuddle puddle with the uncomfy so that you can see that we have all felt this and you are not alone. In this episode I discuss a herpes disclosure that was disappointing, and really rocked my confidence. It brought up so many feelings that really bothered me. It made me question how I could stand online and spew so much positivity surrounding the subject, while then crying on my couch in disappointment. I felt ashamed of myself, because the people I looked up to in the sexual health world never shared this side of things. Maybe I'm not good enough if I am letting this rock me like this. Maybe I should not have a platform where I share my stories if I can't keep my positivity about this. But then I thought, FUCK THAT. I just feel alone because they aren't talking about it. It doesn't mean they don't FEEL it. They are simply not sharing it. Join me in a conversation where I share how I disclose, why I disclose the way I do, how I handle a "rejection", and why we need to reframe the idea of it being a rejection at all; it is someone simply making a decision. I will share my personal story of a disclosure that left me in tears of disappointment, and why it is not productive to be upset with the person telling you no. I'll share my view on why I disagree with my friends that say "...
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    27 分
  • Welcome To The Pity Party: When To Feel Sorry For Yourself, And When To Move Forward

    Welcome To The Pity Party: When To Feel Sorry For Yourself, And When To Move Forward
    2024/04/09

    Consider this your formal invitation to my pity party. In this episode I sit down to discuss why I have had such a hard time producing more podcast episodes, how I like to indulge at my pity parties, and how I am learning to show up- even when I absolutely don't want to.

    We all have moments, some longer than others, where we just can't. We just can't cope. We just can't put on a happy face. We just can't see the bright side of things. I am here to tell you that that is absolutely ok. But, does that mean that we should just not show up at all? No. Join me in exploring what a pity party looks like, and when is the time to end the party.

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    Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

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    …….

    https://ngl.link/tera_vee

    Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!
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    10 分
  • The Silent Treatment: Ignoring Confrontation Is Not A Healthy Boundary

    The Silent Treatment: Ignoring Confrontation Is Not A Healthy Boundary
    2024/02/07

    The silent treatment seems like a childish game...but it can have a heartbreaking effect on a person. It's easy to want to just ignore an uncomfortable situation, maybe you want to prove to your partner that your mad, so you will just ignore them, or maybe you become like a turtle in the face of discomfort and hide in your shell.

    Whatever the reason, it can be easy to forget what the effect of the silent treatment can do to a person. If you have anxiety, and then layer on a dose of the silent treatment.... oof. It's a tornado of overthinking and panic.

    In this episode I discuss why silence is not a boundary, and what simple steps you can take to step away from a situation in a healthy way, to allow yourself time to think before having as discussion. I also share my history with the silent treatment- both giving it and receiving it, and how I have worked to get better with my communication skills.

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    Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

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    …….

    https://ngl.link/tera_vee

    Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!
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    22 分
  • So You Have Chlamydia, Now What? : How To Manage A Positive Diagnosis- Whether It’s Your Own Or Your Partners

    So You Have Chlamydia, Now What? : How To Manage A Positive Diagnosis- Whether It’s Your Own Or Your Partners
    2023/11/06

    "Hey, I know it's been a while since we've talked, and I'm really sorry to send you a message like this, but I just tested positive for chlamydia, so you should probably go get tested and see if you need meds."

    No one wants to get a message like this. It's no fun sending that message either. But if you have sex, and especially unprotected sex, there is always a chance that you will send or receive one that is similar to this. And what do you do when that day comes?

    In this episode you will join me as I process my own recent positive chlamydia test result and how it has effected me emotionally, what my conversations surrounding it looked like, and how my partner reacted to the news. Spoiler alert...it wasn't great.

    I will shared how I told a past partner, my fears of telling my current partner, and how we can manage our emotions surrounding news like this while still showing respect to our partners. There are ways to express our anger and fears while still holding space for the other person.

    -------------------------- Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

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    Pretty Uncomfortable | Website https://prettyuncomfortable.com

    Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee ……. https://ngl.link/tera_vee Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!
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    25 分
  • Sexless Marriages: How They Happen, What To Do If You Are In One, And Is It A Valid Reason To Look For Sex Elsewhere?

    Sexless Marriages: How They Happen, What To Do If You Are In One, And Is It A Valid Reason To Look For Sex Elsewhere?
    2023/10/04

    Sexless relationships is a topic that is not discussed often enough. So many couples suffer silently behind closed doors embarrassed to discuss a problem that a surprising amount of couples are going through.

    Inspired by a listener question inquiring if it is ok to look for sex elsewhere if his wife is no longer interested in sex, I explore what can cause a sexless relationship, the effects it can have, and what the solution is. I reflect on my own experience in a marriage that suffered from close to a decade of no intimacy and how it still effects me now in my dating life.

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    Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

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    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

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    https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Website

    https://prettyuncomfortable.com

    Tera Vee | Instagram

    https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

    …….

    https://ngl.link/tera_vee

    Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!
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    21 分
  • What Women Wish More Men Knew About Sex, Pt. 2: Simple Ways To Improve Your Sex Life And Satisfy Your Partner

    What Women Wish More Men Knew About Sex, Pt. 2: Simple Ways To Improve Your Sex Life And Satisfy Your Partner
    2023/09/18

    Welcome back to part two of the episode where I share with you what women wish that more men knew about sex. Part two brings the conclusion of the list, sharing simple things that you can do to help improve your sex life with your partner.

    While this list is compiled from research on what women wish men knew, it is important to understand that many of these tips can apply to all of us. Many times, there are small things that we haven't even taken into consideration, that if we can work to improve upon, can dramatically improve the connection that we have with our partners.

    So set your egos aside for this episode, have an open mind, and take notes on how to make some simple changes to improve your sex life!

    …….

    Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

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    https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

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    https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Website

    https://prettyuncomfortable.com

    Tera Vee | Instagram

    https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

    …….

    https://ngl.link/tera_vee

    Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!
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    27 分
  • What Women Wish More Men Knew About Sex, Pt. 1: Simple Ways To Improve Your Sex Life And Satisfy Your Partner

    What Women Wish More Men Knew About Sex, Pt. 1: Simple Ways To Improve Your Sex Life And Satisfy Your Partner
    2023/09/11

    All of our egos can get pretty attached to our sex lives. It can be hard to think that maybe you could be doing something better. Or maybe even LOTS of things better. I know it can be hard. But if you are able to set your ego aside and listen with an open mind, you might find some simple ways to improve your sexual encounters.

    This episode is NOT an episode to make men feel bad. The intention is not to make you feel like you are being picked on, or being made to feel as if you are lacking in the bedroom. Because listen, if you don't know what you may be missing, how can you even know to even fix it?

    I'm here to show you some things that you may be missing in the bedroom. Some are small changes that will make your partner smile, others I hope you truly think about and try to improve on, because if you do? I promise you, your partner will be ecstatic. In part one of this episode I will explore topics that range from kissing to trimming your nails, taking those damn socks off, and learning to realize there is no ONE main event when it comes to sex.

    State tuned for part two, and if you have any suggestions you would like to add to the conversation you can send me a message anonymously at the following link: https://ngl.link/tera_vee

    ..............

    Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

    Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok

    https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Website

    https://prettyuncomfortable.com

    Tera Vee | Instagram

    https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee
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    25 分
  • 5in5: Listener Questions Answered: BDSM, Trolling, Long Distance Relationships, Having A Threesome With Your Partner, Getting Started In Adult Content Creation

    5in5: Listener Questions Answered: BDSM, Trolling, Long Distance Relationships, Having A Threesome With Your Partner, Getting Started In Adult Content Creation
    2023/08/21

    Welcome to another Listener Questions 5 in 5! In these episodes I answer 5 randomly selected listener questions, each answered in five minutes or less.

    In this installment I cover everything from what BDSM is, to advice on how a couple can bring a third person into the bedroom. If you want your questioned featured on a Pretty Uncomfortable episode you can reach out to me anonymously HERE: https://ngl.link/tera_vee or send me a DM on Instagram @prettyuncomfortablepodcast

    Episode Question Line-Up:

    1:10 - "BDSM" I define what BDSM is, and remind you that perhaps the stigmatized image that you have in your head of what you think BDSM is, is actually wrong. I also share a link for a wonderful test to see where you stand in the world of BDSM. www.bdsmtest.org

    7:10 - "You are more amazing than sliced bread". Yes, perhaps sometimes I troll my own question prompts. I'm my own biggest fan, what can I say?!

    7:58 - "Would you do a long distance relationship?" I discuss why a long distance relationship would not work for me while also enjoying a little bit of distance from my partners.

    11:33 - "Girlfriend has hinted that she may want to try involving another woman with us when we are intimate but both of us are unsure on how to go about it." I will share the most important thing that you need to do before introducing a third person into your dynamic.

    16:50 - "How do you recommend getting started in the "spicy links" community?" *"spicy links" refers to adult content sites. I discuss the motivation to get into adult content, the risks, and what I believe is one of the most important "rules" if you enter into creating adult content.

    These episodes continue to be some of my favorite! I love the element of being unprepared and never knowing what is coming next! Let's keep the fun going and send me your questions to be featured in an episode

    *******

    Stay connected with The Pretty Uncomfortable Podcast & Tera Vee:

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/prettyuncomfortablepodcast/

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088708004607

    Pretty Uncomfortable | TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@teravee0?lang=en

    Pretty Uncomfortable | Website https://prettyuncomfortable.com

    Tera Vee | Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tera_vee

    …….

    https://ngl.link/tera_vee

    Have a topic you would like to talk about? Or a question you may be shy or embarrassed to ask? You can safely ask all of your questions anonymously HERE! I’m always and forever your safe word!
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    28 分