Seeing everyone around you getting pregnant whilst you're TTC can leave you battling the difficult feelings of envy and resentment. In this episode we dive into things that trigger these emotions, ways we try to cope and what happens when thoughts get dark and slip into schadenfreude. Wait until the end to hear our candid conversations about Lara's 4th egg collection and how she was feeling going into it.

Experiencing failures when trying to conceive and the associated feelings of shame can be debilitating. In this episode we talk about how shame can hold us back from making connections, getting the support you need and remind you that you are not defined by a failure and are never alone.

Episode Notes

1:42 - definition of shame 3:24 - definition of guilt 5:32 - the difference between shame and guilt 6:39 - it’s not all on you, it’s not your fault 8:26 - an essential mindset shift to help deal with feelings of shame 10:13 - shame triggers 12:23 - shame requires constant self-talk 13:00 - judgement and your shame bubble 14:07 - when other things going well make your question yourself 15:07 - slipping into a lack of trust around others 16:55 - guilt and engaging with the world 20:01 - shame makes you question your identity 20:50 - separating yourself and facts from your thoughts 22:31 - what happens in a shame spiral 23:57 - the expectation reality gap 25:17 - feeling pregnant - motivator or fear? 28:43 - will my partner leave me? 30:16 - does visualisation work? 32:54 - the stories you tell yourself 34:17 - belonging and feeling accepted 35:58 - personality traits and building resilience 37:07 - the value in saying ‘everything is fine’ 38:05 - everyone needs a f*ck it switch 40:09 - unpicking your brain 42:29 - dealing with a Big Fat Negative 53:01 - you are not your failure 55:30 - navigating compassion and comfort 1:01:11 - we’re all human, emotions are normal

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Struggling with fertility can be overwhelming, and the stress is real - studies even compare it to the impact of a major medical diagnosis. In this episode, we dive into the emotional toll, what happens when stress tips into overwhelm, and the coping strategies that help.

As you'll see, in the excitement of it all, we even get the name of the podcast wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Episode Notes

2:32 - definition of stress 2:46 - definition of overwhelm 3:07 - the reality of dealing with infertility/ IVF 7:15 - IVF without NHS funding & big career moves 9:27 - financial funding / packages 10:54 - the impact of stress and infertility 14:34 - being everything to everyone 16:54 - when stress tips into overwhelm 17:38 - not fit for human consumption days 18:26 - effort doesn’t always equal reward 20:25 - fertility burnout 21:33 - infertility is like running a marathon 23:33 - draining your stress bucket 25:20 - grabbing moments of self-care 26:34 - telling other people you’ve failed 28:43 - supporting your mind as much as your body 29:57 - control and giving yourself permission to hope 31:23 - trust and communication with your partner 32:08 - being stressed about being stressed 36:35 - infertility is a unique stress 37:19 - coping mechanisms and creating space for yourself 39:04 - reconciling with the idea that it’s not working 40:52 - wallowing in the darkness when it all gets too much 42:33 - talking about feelings with your partner 46:29 - the stress of disenfranchised grief 48:30 - opening up and finding your tribe 50:40 - motherhood is a gift 57:06 - recap of coping mechanisms

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