As the United States approaches one of the most important elections, many people I know are expressing how the current state of affairs is affecting their work, home life, and overall well-being.

With the stress and the chaos, it would be easy to shut down and ask, “Why bother?”

This is why it feels especially timely to bring back my long-time friend, Iowa state representative and state house minority leader, Jennifer Konfrst, to the podcast.

Whether it's a major election, a looming work deadline, or a personal goal, we all carry heavy responsibilities on top of what's happening in our country. I wanted to talk to Jennifer about how she finds the strength to keep going, even when the victories are hard-won or the losses are break-your-heart big.

Jennifer shares her not-so-secret recipe for staying true to her values and community, staying open and seeking support, which helps her avoid falling into despair and hopelessness.

Her perspective is a source of hope, motivation, and a call to keep fighting that many of us need right now.

Jennifer Konfrst teaches public relations & strategic political communication courses at Drake University in Des Moines, IA. Before joining the Drake journalism faculty in 2013, she worked in public relations for 20 years, most recently at Iowa Public Television.

She also serves as an Iowa House of Representatives member, representing the 43rd district since 2019. She is the House minority leader, a position she has held since 2021, and she is the first woman to hold this position in Iowa.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• What the Iowa Supreme Court ruling on abortion taught Jennifer about showing up even when you’re devastated and angry
• The self-care that is essential for Jennifer in the face of setbacks and struggles at the State House
• How Jennifer builds trust in her leadership with her caucus in her role as House Minority Leader
• How consistently highlighting and celebrating even small wins helps keep people motivated
• How her personal healing work has helped Jennifer allow for disagreement and conflict within her caucus
• The challenges of trust with voters, representatives across the aisle, and within her party
• The case for getting and staying engaged in politics, especially at the local level

Learn more about Jennifer Konfrst:

• Website
• Instagram: @KonfrstForHouse
• Twitter: @KonfrstForHouse

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• EP 114: Why Bother? Navigating Burnout and Rediscovering Purpose with Jennifer Louden
• EP 30: Committing to Being an Engaged Leader and Engaged Citizen with Iowa State Rep. Jennifer Konfrst
• The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work, Charles Feltman
• Taylor Swift - The Man
• The Chicks - March March
• The West Wing
• Schitt’s Creek
• Parks and Recreation

When was the last time you said, “Why bother?”

When overwhelm, exhaustion, burnout, and the weight of responsibility set in, it's easy to become cynical and ask, "What's the point?"

Cynicism can be a defense mechanism, shielding us from difficult emotions or experiences, but it also traps us in survival mode, limiting our ability to see new possibilities or paths forward.

Constantly being in fight-or-flight mode makes it difficult to think long-term and to rest and reset as needed.

Today, we're exploring what, "Why bother?" really indicates for leaders. It serves as a sign of exhaustion, an overactive nervous system, or even reactivated trauma. Our guest encourages us to transform "Why bother?" from a stuck and cynical question into a productive inquiry that directs us towards what truly matters.

Jennifer Louden invites us to flip the script on “Why bother?” from cynical and stuck to a generative question to lead you toward what really matters to you.

Jennifer has been involved in the self-care movement for years. She authored the bestseller, The Woman’s Comfort Book in 1992 and has since written numerous books on well-being and creative living, including The Woman’s Retreat Book and Why Bother? She enjoys coaching writers and is currently working on a fantasy novel where older women use their power to buy humanity time from the climate crisis.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• Why the “why bother” stage is a normal part of life, and how it presents an opportunity to reset
• How holding too tightly to an identity can keep us from seeing possibilities for change
• How exiling and not claiming what we want leads to “why bother”
• How taking action on the things that matter to us cultivates hope
• How accepting that some things in life are not fixable can liberate us to step into new possibilities
• How to begin cultivating a relationship with your desires

Learn more about Jennifer Louden:

• Website
• It's Not Too Late

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
• For All Mankind
• Wicked Little Letters
• The Mary Tyler Moore Show

How does curiosity show up in your life, work, and relationships?

Does your curiosity influence your strategy or planning? Or do you follow your curiosity to gain more knowledge or deepen your understanding of topics or viewpoints? Do you lean on curiosity to help you get to know someone better in ways that satisfy your interests or deepen your connection?

Do you keep following your curiosity even if it leads to uncomfortable or unknown places?

Our curiosity can reveal much about us, our interests, and our capacity for hope, discomfort, and imagination. But just as important is HOW we use our curiosity.

When we wield our curiosity to prove a point, we can cause division and harm. And when we use curiosity to honor others and our vulnerability, we can build the bridges necessary to cultivate the spaces we dream about and desire.

Today’s guest has combined his own lived experiences and research on curiosity and bridge-building into a powerful, nuanced book and set of practices on curiosity and how we use it in our relationships.

Scott Shigeoka believes curiosity has the power to transform your life and change the world. It's the key to connection, healing, and personal growth. It's a critical practice for your relationships, leadership, and life satisfaction. In his book, Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World, Scott teaches readers to strengthen their curiosity muscles with his signature DIVE method.

Scott has appeared on The Today Show, Harvard Business Review, NPR, The Guardian, and CNBC, and he has spoken at Google, Microsoft, Pixar, IDEO, Meta, Airbnb, and universities and schools around the world and teaches at The University of Texas at Austin.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Scott’s cross-country road trip showed in real-time that approaching fears with curiosity builds connection, understanding, and possibility
• The limits and boundaries to approaching others with curiosity in the moment
• Why we need to bring curiosity and humility when we catch our own biases
• How social and structural power dynamics influence how we balance curiosity, discomfort, and anger in a group
• Three key questions to ask yourself to identify if your curiosity about another person or situation is invasive or predatory
• How letting go of certainty opens up possibilities and allows for growth

Learn more about Scott Shigeoka:

• Website
• Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World
• Instagram: @scottshigeoka

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brené Brown
• The Making of Another Major Motion Picture Masterpiece, Tom Hanks
• Billie Eilish - LUNCH
• Inside Out 2
• Beyoncé - RENAISSANCE

What is your relationship with your dreams?

Not your goals or visions for the future, but the actual dreams that appear when you sleep?

Deepening our understanding of our dreams is not just a trailhead, but a transformative journey to better understanding ourselves, what drives us, what limits us, and what impacts our choices and behaviors.

Today’s guest, Selden “Dee” Kelley, urges us to take the time to reflect on dreams so that we can better understand how our inner systems are processing our present and our past. He reminds us of the profound power of witnessing our subconscious burdens, a process that validates our experiences and our desire to be seen and heard.

Dee is a lifelong learner. He holds five degrees in religion, psychology, an MBA, and a PhD in Industrial Psychology and Organizational Development. He served 18 years as the Pastor of the First Church of the Nazarene in San Diego and held various leadership and administration positions before becoming a pastor.

He has a deep passion for helping others discover the rich guidance that dream work can provide for their journey toward health and wholeness, and helps people connect with the power of their dreams as a pathway toward new insight, better decision-making, and improved creative thinking.

Content Note: Dee draws heavily from Jungian male-female archetypes. I want to note that the discussion of gender expands across the spectrum and is not limited to the male-female binary.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Dee’s approach blends hypotheses of the biological functions of dreaming and uses them in service of greater self-awareness
• How every person’s dreams have an individual dialect
• Advice for beginning to remember and take note of your dreams
• Why specific interpretation can matter less than the reflections the interpretation leads to
• How paying attention to our dreams can help us embrace imaginative, nuanced thinking
• Differentiating between dream crushers and useful contrarian voices, in dreams and awake

Learn more about Dee Kelley:

• Website
• Instagram: @drdeedreamscoach

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email.

Resources:

• What Dreams May Come
• Inception

When you are excited about something, how do you show up?

Do you wear excitement and passion on your sleeve for all to see?

Maybe your personality is more low-key and strategic, and it is less obvious when you're really excited about an idea, a vision, or being a part of something.

Or maybe you adapt and edit yourself, muting your responses to play it cool for fear you won’t be taken seriously.

Yes, it’s essential to consider your role, environment, and audience when you feel energized about something. But if we’re constantly focused on who we should be, how we should act, and what the right thing to say is, it’s hard to have hope and a vision for the future.

Meg Raby Klinghoffer does not feel weighed down by messages about playing it cool and downplaying her excitement and joy anymore. She is emphatically all in with helping others envision how the spaces where we live, work, and play can be inclusive for those with invisible disabilities. She is becoming a contagion to create spaces where we can all be welcome and feel comfortable being ourselves, from concerts to museums to schools and beyond.

Meg is the author of the My Brother Otto series, a Speech-Language Pathologist, a writer for Scary Mommy, and a full-time employee of KultureCity, the nation’s leading nonprofit in sensory inclusion. She is also autistic.

At any given moment, Meg is thinking about how to better love the humans around her and how to create positive change without causing division.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How receiving an autism diagnosis and owning that identity has allowed Meg to advocate for herself more freely
• How to respectfully approach learning more about and supporting the autistic adults in your life
• How having an autistic community helped Meg let go of old rules and embrace her identity
• How KultureCity addresses the need for macro-level change to make spaces more supportive and inclusive
• Meg’s vision for moving beyond awareness or acceptance to true inclusion

Learn more about Meg Raby Klinghoffer:

• KultureCity
• Scary Mommy
• Instagram: @author.meg.raby

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir, Ashley C Ford
• Kamala Harris and the Threat of a Woman's Laugh - Sophie Gilbert, The Atlantic
• We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation, Eric Garcia
• Yung Pueblo
• Post Malone - Hollywood's Bleeding
• Lauren Daigle - Rescue
• 3 Body Problem
• The Jacksons: An American Dream

What sparks your imagination?

What shuts down your capacity to imagine?

Where does your mind go when the stakes are high, and the pressure feels too great? Do you find yourself mentally preparing for the worst possible outcomes, as if you were rehearsing a play? Do you shut down or numb out to manage your fears and anxieties?

Our brains naturally seek comfort in the known or fill in the unknown with potential disasters. However, it takes conscious effort and practice to build the capacity to imagine positive outcomes when things feel bleak.

But we can counter overwhelm and despair by connecting with imaginative individuals who embody hope, curiosity, and possibility grounded in vision and action.

These visionary leaders remind us that something different is possible and that we can choose to take deliberate action to change the prevailing tides.

In this new series of Unburdened Leader conversations, I’ll be in dialogue with leaders who urge us to envision a future that's not just a distant dream, but a reality we can actively shape today.

Over the next few months, you will hear conversations that invite you to take meaningful action here and now that does not deplete but heals and energizes.

These visionary conversations will help you connect with your desire to see a way through the noise and do something different.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• Why this moment feels so vital to share conversations with leaders imagining–and building–a more moral and just world
• A taste of upcoming topics of conversation, from invisible disabilities to reframing resilience as a collective undertaking
• Essential steps for building and protecting your capacity to hope and imagine in trying times

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email.

Resources:

• EP 02: How Self-Leadership Saves You From The Relentless Drive To Succeed with Dr. Richard Schwartz
• EP 88: Right-Use-of-Power: Navigating Leadership Dynamics with Dr. Cedar Barstow

What does it mean to you to live a life with no regrets? Is that even possible?

What if it’s less about avoiding regrets entirely and more about being clear on your values, dreams, and desires and combining that with intentional practices to build a life focused on things that matter to you and the world around you?

Of course, this takes work because we’re constantly pulled in many different directions and responding to many inputs, just trying to keep our heads above water.

To lead well, we must get clarity in our values and develop trusting relationships with our inner worlds and physical bodies.

Instead of chasing a life with zero regrets, we need to learn to respond well to our regrets in the moment. If we want to look back and feel good about how we responded, we can’t numb out or bypass; we must make amends and correct our course.

Today’s conversation is with a long-time friend and colleague who reminds us that living an aligned life is a meandering path, a life that is always stretched and tested. It's not always easy, but when we stay connected to our values, desires, and integrity, there can be ease and clarity even in the hard times.

Molly Mahar is the founder of Stratejoy, a community helping women reclaim intimate, honest, and joyful relationships with themselves for the good of all. She's an entrepreneur, mama, writer, and adventurer obsessed with designing personal experiments that scare you, telling the truth, and her new teardrop trailer. In this episode, Molly shares her journey of living an aligned life, her struggles, and the lessons she learned along the way.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Molly prepared, financially and emotionally, to embark on a year of travel and a major move with her family
• How relocating on their return may have actually made it easier for Molly to integrate her experiences
• What putting their lives on hold and being together 24/7 revealed about Molly’s relationship with her husband, their parenting choices, and how they handle conflict
• The support and practices that helped Molly get back in alignment
• Unpacking her complicated relationship with alcohol and why she knew she needed to get sober for good
• The core questions that Molly used to guide her self-reflection throughout the trip

Learn more about Molly Mahar:

• Stratejoy
• Instagram: @stratejoy, @mollymahar

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• EP 107: The Seasons of Entrepreneurship: Leading a Deliberate Life with Laura Roeder
• Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted, Suleika Jaouad
• Birnam Wood, Eleanor Catton
• You, Again, Kate Goldbeck
• Paper Planes - Radio Up
• MAGIC! – Good Feeling About You
• Nyad
• The Idea of You
• Saved by the Bell