Come on in, the water’s fine! This week, we’re talking about one of the most simple, possibly primordial, occasionally deadly pleasures in life, which is traversing a body of water for recreational purposes. Y’know, swimming! It’s an essential survival skill, but also just a nice thing to do when it’s hot out, whether it’s in a pool, ocean, lake, river, pond, watering hole, crick, spigot or some combination thereof. But, that’s assuming there’s not an abundance of mud, trash, weeds, slime, or scary creatures impedling your paddling.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Jaws, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Anchorman and Adult Swim’s original bumpers

Concerts! One of the most expensive and exhausting ways to lose hearing and form lasting memories, this week we’re discussing our own histories seeing live music. From Brian’s countless hip-hop shows in New York City to Max’s repeated accidental patronage of Jefferson Starship, we have plenty of anecdotes. Are they more entertaining than attending an actual concert yourself? No. Is the audio quality better? Eh, debatable. Would we charge you 23 dollars for a beer? Never!

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Heavy Metal Parking Lot, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and The Simpsons.

Hot dogs, dogs, frankfurters, franks, wieners, weenies or tube steak, whatever you call these silly cylinders, they’re a good time! Whether you’re eating them in the backyard, at a ball game, on the street, or hunched over your kitchen sink, stupid dudes like us would have starved to death ages ago without their questionable sustenance. Join us as we discuss some regional varieties, questionable practices, fan theories, controversial opinions, and a classic column from The Onion that was definitely not penned by Christopher Walken.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Led Zeppelin’s “Hot Dog,” an Oscar Meyer commercial, The Irishman and Superbad.

Last week we talked about our love of trucks that have ice cream inside, and this week… we’re talking about all the other kinds! But hold on, what’s a truck? A pickup? A steamroller? The Power Loader from Aliens? What we lack in expertise or first-hand experience, we make up for with an appreciation of wheeled wonders that also sometimes have big tank treads. Little trucks, big trucks, old trucks, expensive trucks, monster trucks, and other modern dinosaurs of the road, whatever they are, we love them!

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from a Tonka commercial, Sisqo’s “The Thong Song,” Over The Top and various truck sounds.

Easily the most beloved vehicles exclusively designed for selling dessert on the street, ice cream trucks are a staple of childhood, a beloved tradition, a lucrative side-hustle and a pretty hilarious human invention. Brian has prepared a short presentation on ice cream trucks, but not ice cream bikes or ice cream boats, as well as some of the better delicacies served by them.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips of an ice cream truck, The Simpsons, Hey Arnold, a Popsicle commercial and "Ice Cream" by Raekwon.

Ya-hooooo! Mountain Dew! This week, we’re joined by good friend, esteemed colleague, and X-treme Dew-ficionado Seth Macy to talk about the history of a highly caffeinated, neon yellow soft drink. From its bootleg backwoods origins to its role as a pseudo-sports drink, to a staple of nerdy all-nighters, we have some fond memories slamming various flavors of Dew - and there have been a lot over the years. It’s probably worth noting that this episode is in no way sponsored, paid for, endorsed, encouraged, or officially recognized in any way by Mountain Dew or PepsiCo.

You can find more of Seth Macy on Instagram @sethgmacy or on Tiktok @major_beeflord, where he regularly posts some very entertaining content, Mountain Dew-related and otherwise.

Intro contains clips from Mountain Dew commercials from the 1960s and 1990s, a 1996 Dungeons & Dragons sketch from Dan Harmon’s comedy troupe Dead Alewives (better known as “Summoner Geeks,” thanks to an easter egg from the Volition PlayStation 2 game), “The Rare Auld Mountain Dew” performed by The Dubliners and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

This week, it’s a bit of a grab bag. A grab bag full of beach sand, cinnamon rolls and sharp objects! This week, we’re a bit fried, so we’re trying shaking things up and doing scatterbrained variety pack episode on sandcastles, one of the most fun things you can legally do with a bucket, breakfast pastries, those glorious desserts of the ante meridiem, and pocket knives, a timeless must-have accessory of handymen, ne’er-do-wells, and wannabe tough guys the world over.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the You Already Knew That, a culturally insensitive Pillsbury Toaster Strudel commercial and Season 5, Episode 8 of The Simpsons.

You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy (and quaint charm) than a dive bar. But what makes a good dive bar, aside from underwhelming decor and moderately-whelming beverages at an equally moderate price? Let’s discuss the charms of the American pub, tavern, watering hole and/or dank pit.

It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at thisthingruleshow@gmail.com

Intro contains clips from The Simpsons, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End and Star Wars: A New Hope.