Did you know, if you pay a little extra when you get a ticket, the state won’t report it to you insurance company? That feels a little like payola? The only thing missing, you not paying cash to a guy wearing a pinkie ring at a clandestine location near the river.

Jennifer had experimental joint surgery on her toe. The joint wasn’t something they fished out of a bowl of chicken knuckle soup. It was actually titanium. Lesson learned, don’t have that type of surgery over a holiday weekend. Her trip to the ER for pain meds included stepping around puddles of bodily fluids from someone who tried giving advice to a kid who jumped the line at Meijer. Ok kidding. Just love the opportunity to call back jokes from previous episodes

Razor scooter rental is a part of life in many cities. Greg and Keely tried to rent them on a recent visit to St Pete the only ones left were scooters with seats. They were available because no one wants to look that tragic Keely, who’s more secure, couldn’t care less what people thought. Greg felt like he needed white driving gloves, a clutch purse, and rain bonnet.

It’s Episode 49 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast and Papaw’s coming in hot!

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Part 1:Andy was lead engineer in the Crumbling Down recording sessions with John Mellencamp. He takes me back to those sessions for a peek behind the curtain to understand what it was like making that song with John. From John’s vision of the song to the rough cut. With a surprise appearance by John’s gum guy.

Ray Combs built a comedy Club in downtown Cincinnati. The green room was upstairs overlooking the show room with a big picture window. Celebrities who knew Ray were invited to watch the show from the anonymity of the green room. It was there Greg met Pete Rose and together they watched John Fox defile Ray in front of a sold out audience.

Part 2 Stories from the ER.

An extremely obese woman who’d recently given birth, visits the ER with abdominal pain. She shared with the staff the technique she and her husband used for getting pregnant. That didn’t have anything to do with her pain. What the scans revealed is something I’ll never forget, but I had to share. Along with several other remarkable tales.

Part 3 Cleanup in isle 7.

What happens when you mix an elderly woman, a thug, Greg and a line of people in the self checkout line at Meijer? It’s either a trip to the ER, a life lesson or a life coaching opportunity on the virtues and pitfall of calling out a thug when he cuts an older woman in line. It’s our closer, but it’s not curtains for Greg. Episode 48 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast is filled with funny and insightful stories of life.

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Part 1: Horrible bosses, everyone has probable come across one. Greg and Andy met while working for one, Jeff. His billowing voice would shout commands over the intercom followed by his extension 202! His extension number became synonymous with an emergency similar to 911. If Greg heard, Andy Symons, 202, he knew Andy was going to the lions.

High volume profanity, blood pressure checks, and receptionists who quit during lunch of the first day were daily treats. Andy was fired, Greg quit and so began the adventure of land in a new work environment with another horrible boss.

“Working for narcissists is one of Greg’s spiritual gifts” - Keey

Part 2: The black Tie Affair. Being fitted for a tux recently reminded Greg of Senior Prom and the tragic look he sported, a white tux. Andy wore a powder blue tux fluffy bow tie and cummerbund. Life happens on the way to being fitted. A trail that led to massive road construction, and reliving that failed prom night.

Part 3: Caught in a Small Town Fair. Have you ever taken a wrong turn and ended up in the muddled of nowhere? One fall day while driving their daughter home from fall break from IU, Greg and Keely took a left hand turn that put them square in the midway of a small town fair. Pulling slowly forward put them in a congested midway of fair growers, elephant ears, taffy and the tilt-o-whirl. What happens next? That part of the fun of listening to Season 2 Episode 47 of Welcome To the Suburbs Podcast.

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Andy drove to Nashville, Indiana to see April Wine in concert this fall. He noticed that police cars were abundantly sprinkled along the interstate in construction zones. They had to be prop cops. Surely there weren’t really policemen in those cars. The opening act was Sweet. You may remember their hit Love Is Like Oxygen. Ironically, oxygen tanks were worn as concert apparel by concert goers along with walkers and canes. What is the average age of concert goers when Flomax is the drug of choice?

Greg talked about smuggling southern comfort in the hood of his parka while attending concerts in high school and college. Harder to pull that off for summer shows.

They both snuck cameras in to concerts. Greg’s was confiscated when he pretended to be the paparazzi. Into concert jail it went along with 100’s of bags of pot and liquor. Something the venue staff enjoyed in abundance.

Andy’s question: did you do this when seeing real Foreigner or fake Foreigner? Greg’s response; Foreigner when Foreigner was Foreigner. Are we clear on that?

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Part 1.

You know you’ve made the right career choice with the building is in fire and you’re so caught up in your work, you have no idea. What’s that knocking? Siren’s? Do you smell smoke? Why is it so hot in here?

Part 2: After nine months of being the personal representative of his dad’s estate, the word beneficiary is cringe worthy. It’s like a game of Monopoly without the rules, Boardwalk, Park Place and landing on Baltic Avenue requires a death certificate, payments to people in jail.

Part 3. What do you do when the needy people in your life have all moved on? You buy an Airbnb to attract more. Is buying one an investment in property or patience?

Part 4. Greg’s awkward conversations with strangers.

It’s all of this and more in S2 Episode 45 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast: Monopoly is a 4 letter Word.

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S2 Episode 44 of Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast. Teenage High Jinks & The Chucky Cheese Band

Part 1: What happens when practicing abundance leads to a plethora or ants and bees.

Part 2: Driving home from school, a bet, snowballs, left turns, wrong turns and time spent in a policeman’s office culminated in what Greg’s dad referred to as his, Highway to Hell.

Part 3: when a bike trail through the woods leads to a police pursuit via helicopter over a misunderstanding and a bad idea. While Greg spent his teenage years figuring out who not to be, Andy was practicing the violin and polishing his halo. Are you starting to see a theme?

It’s all here and more in Episode 44 of Welcome to the Suburbs podcast.

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S2 Episode 43: He Ate What Worm?

Andy is just trying to buy McDonalds for the band when an old Biddy becomes the parking police’s version of a Karen. Do you want fries with that whine?

Getting the driver stung by a bee while navigating traffic is:

A). A video game challenge

B). Pickle Ball for Bee Keepers

C). Prank on Jackass

D). Andy’s photo shoot story

What do bathroom attendants, IMS Men’s rooms and sex clubs have in common. Andy’s explanation is hilariously a part of Episode 43 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast.

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S 2 Episode 42: Taste the Rainbow!

Andy Googled welcome To The Suburbs and up comes a song, Welcome to the Suburbs by The Kottonmouth Kings. An underground group of Weed Rappers from L.A. Greg, overlooked the obvious and asked, Cotton Mouth like the snake? Ridicule ensued.

Part 2: What happened to George? I haven’t seen him lately. That was Greg’s question to his ski brother Steve. Well, no one’s seen him because he was pulled over by the DNR for drunk boating And tried to get away by jumping off the boat and swimming for it. What exactly is “it” Andy asks freedom? In section 2, the take of Not George and not driving.

In the water, driving a motorized vehicle isn’t taken as seriously as on the road in a car. People are high on life and tequila. Weekenders tend to imbibe while driving. Greg talks about his neighbor who is the poster child for money can’t buy intellect when you have a 3 stooges mindset.

In section 3. Catching up with Joe and Mary. The grumpy, dysfunctional dwarf marina owners of Lake James.

It’s season 2 Episode 42 of Welcome to The Suburbs: Taste The Rainbow!

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