I was a guest on the podcast Adoption: The Long View, hosted by Lori Holden. In this episode I am interviewed by Lori who asks the vital question "How can adoptees be the hero of their own stories?" Because that is what I believe we should be. Lori is one of the co-writers for the book, "Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations by Adoptees, Birth parents, and Adoptive parents." The following is what we talk about. Disclaimer: This listen is for adults only.

00:00 Intro
00:47 Video greeting from Lanise
11: 01 Interview with Lori Holden begins
11:59 Lanise starts her adoption story
16:20 Lanise's coming out of the FOG story
18:29 How Lanise's grief manifested
19:42 Lanise's suicide ideations
22:49 Coming to terms with our own story
23:30 Chapter 18 of Adoption Unfiltered "Saviorism)
26:35 The movie Origin & Caste system in adoption
28:22 Global supremacy of whiteness
28:30 Article from The Conversation about whiteness in adoption
30:50 Barbara Kinsolver Poisonwood Bible
31:00 Consequences of saviorism
32:18 Lanise's definition of a better life
34:08 What's behind saviourism and AP's controlling the narrative
34:58 Altruism vs saviorism

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today we talk about the science of attachment styles inspired by the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. This book has revolutionized how I approach all of my relationships. These are my reasons why you should read this book and how I now use it to healthfully allow people to be as they are.

REFERENCES:
Attached written by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller
Disordered Attachment Article

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today our guest is Shelby Redfield Kilgore who is a two time Emmy award-winning filmmaker and author of the blog, “Behind the Lens” and also co-writer of the book “Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections”.

Today's topics:

• Her filmmaking and how she found her artistic voice
• How the stories she collects have informed her own adoption journey
• The societal pressures of single mothers in Korea and The resentment that surfaced toward her culture because of what happened to her mother.
• The imperative of adoptive parent’s get thorough education before adopting
• And her courage through her Breast cancer journey

GUEST: Shelby Redfield Kilgore
https://www.wearemirrorlight.com/

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today we have author, activist, podcaster, and educative content creator Melissa Guida Richards; who was also a guest on episode 6 ,and a panelist on my 2020 panel series. A lot has happened since we last chatted a few years ago; Melissa's second book launched and her tik tok / IG platforms now have a huge following of people who want to learn more.
Topics today include:

• The ramification of Separating siblings
• Her relationship with her adoptive mother, and what it was like to be on the Cameron Hall show with her adoptive mother.
• What it means to filter content through an anti-racist lens
• Her work in the adoption community and her strategy to make lasting and systemic change.
• The harm of Social media platforms that advertise children and the dangers of pre-birth matching
• Re-homing children on the internet (AKA human trafficking)
• We also talk about birth parents in crisis and the laws around their rights.
• She gives advice on how to protect your children’s story when you’re a parental content creator. How to not over-share
• And then we finish with tips on how to not minimize the adoptee experience

GUEST: Melissa Guida Richards
adopteethoughts.com
Melissa's Workbooks

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today I speak with poet, artist, and activist matthew anthony. Matthew has a podcast called "Little Did You Know" and a vibrant poetry book called "You Can Not Burn The Sun."

We discuss:
- Reclaiming ones name
- Rehoming and separating siblings
- What "with-ness" is in regards to solidarity
- And the resiliency of a black spirit brought up in a Sun Down town

GUEST: matthew anthony
https://drum.io/cantburnthesun?fbclid=IwAR0XqFmMZsW8-XJwJO4UiyiJugu-LIgsbWJIt9UMHj-vtGBOCU9reHZk8N4

REFERENCES:

James Baldwin “The Fire Next Time”

.

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today, we speak with Lorah Gerald (aka The Adopted Chameleon). It was a delight to have a light worker with such a profound grasp of a plethora of healing modalities. Lorah is a trauma-informed Kundalini Yoga instructor, Intuitive, Tarot & Tea reader, and Reiki healer. You can find her on Instagram @theadopteechamelean sharing her gifts as a healer through movement and mindful practices.

We talk about:

• The adoption summit she attended called “Untangling Our Roots”
• Lorah’s Medium energy worker
• Her Kundalini Yoga practice
• The healing powers of wearing colors to brighten your mood
• The Baby Scoop era that she was born into and the complexities of same race adoption. The difference between acute trauma, chronic trauma and complex trauma
• How she became “The Adoptee Chameleon”
• We end with how you can change your energy through breath work, where she leads us through practice.

GUEST: Lorah Gerald

My website,

https://lorahgerald.com/

My linktree,

https://linktr.ee/Lorahwg

REFERENCES:

https://untanglingourroots.org/

Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today it’s just me.This month has been many things for me. Officially it’s Mental Health awareness month and Asian, Asian American, Pacific Islander Heritage Month. I want to take the time to honor both things. First I’ll tell you why Mental Health awareness is so imperative on a personal level and on a community level.

REFERENCES:

Film One Child Nation

Asian Nation Blog

https://www.asian-nation.org/index.shtml

Asian American Contributions:

https://www.nyxt.nyc/blog/asian-american-pacific-american-heritage-5-facts/

Transracial Adoption statistics:

https://brandongaille.com/21-gripping-transracial-adoption-statistics/

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...

Today's guest is Lori May Mier who is the author of Marin and Her Very Bright Star; a story of resiliency which is available on her website. She also is an activator in her community. Find out why I use the word "activator" instead of "activist" in the episode.
We talk about:

• The difference between Grief and loss
• Narrative therapy and how reimagining your story can change your perspective
• Lori's experience with parental loss
• The abuse Lori endured at the hands of her caregivers
• Lori shares how generational grief shows up in parenting
• Lori unpacks what it means to witness ones own courageous evolution

GUEST: Lori May Mier
https://www.bluemountainpathcoaching.com/

Support the show

CONNECT WITH HOST:
@youngadoptee
@lantoines
www.laniseantoineshelley.com

SPONSORSHIPS:
BetterHelp Show Link HERE!

DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products
15% off Code: WTWY

Link: https://weunikworld.com/discount/WTWY

DISCOUNT FOR 15% GUIDE BOOKS:
Isaac Etter's IDENTITY (Equipping parents, Empowering Children)
Black Hair Care
Guide to Transracial Adoption

ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:
14 through18, and episode 28, and 29.

WATCH PANELS: Here!

JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS":

HISTORY of the word “Colored”:
...