Every child has a story that is so much bigger than the way their life ended.

In this first half of my conversation with Jackie Baker, author of Messy Mourning: Hope for Mothers Grieving the Loss of a Child by Suicide, Jackie introduces us to her son Sebastian—a bright, curious, athletic, artistic young man who was deeply loved. She also shares about the struggles he faced and the journey her family walked before his death by suicide nearly nine years ago.

Jackie speaks honestly about those early days of grief and the long process of learning to live again. We talk about some of the unique questions and emotions that can accompany suicide loss, the importance of remembering our children for far more than the way they died, and the impact child loss can have on a marriage.

We also discuss the stigma that can surround suicide in the church and why our churches need to be safe places where grieving families are met with compassion, grace, and the hope of Jesus.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Sebastian’s life and the struggles he faced
• The unique challenges of suicide loss
• Remembering our children for how they lived, not simply how they died
• Grief and its impact on marriage
• Suicide, stigma, and the church
• Finding hope in Jesus in the midst of devastating loss

This is Part One of my two-part conversation with Jackie Baker. Be sure to join us next week for Part Two!

You can learn more about Jackie, connect with her writing on Substack, and find links to her social media through her website, linked HERE. You’ll find information about her book, Messy Mourning: Hope for Mothers Grieving the Loss of a Child by Suicide on her website as well.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

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Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

Josie Doll joins me again today, as we continue our conversation from last week. Together we explore the meaning behind her book’s title - "Courage in the Corners" - a phrase her son Christian often used in hockey. For Josie, it's become a powerful picture of grief: having the courage to take the hits, get back up, and keep going. If you missed the first half of our conversation last week, you may want to click HERE to listen.

Josie shares openly about her struggle to trust God after Christian’s death, the moment she came to the end of herself and surrendered to Him, and the ways her understanding of God has changed. We talk about wrestling with His goodness, being angry with Him, and learning that trusting God doesn’t mean we will always understand what He allows.

We also discuss forgiveness, the Christian Doll Foundation created in Christian’s memory, and how Josie hopes his life will continue to impact others.

Josie closes our conversation with encouragement for grieving parents and the hope that sustains her: Because of Jesus, our children’s stories - and ours - are not over. The best truly is yet to come.

Links mentioned in this episode:
• Courage in the Corners by Josie Doll
• The Christian Doll Foundation
• Connect with Josie at courageinthecorners@gmail.com

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

My guest on the podcast today is my friend Josie Doll, who I had the opportunity to meet when we hosted a While We're Waiting Weekend in Alberta, Canada last spring. In this first half of our conversation, we get to know her 15-year-old son, Christian—a funny, compassionate young man and natural leader who loved hockey, golf, his friends, and his family.

Josie takes us back to the summer night in July of 2024 when Christian was struck by a vehicle while riding his moped with friends. She shares about the seven difficult days that followed, the desperate prayers for a miracle, and the heartbreaking reality that Christian would not survive his injuries.

We also talk about the ongoing legal process surrounding his death, Josie’s efforts toward “Christian’s Law,” and what grief has looked like as she approaches the two-year mark without her son. She describes the second year as “quieter” and shares how she has begun to view moving forward not as moving farther away from Christian, but as moving closer to the day she’ll see him again.

Next week, we’ll explore the meaning behind Courage in the Corners and go deeper into Josie’s journey of learning to trust God in the midst of devastating loss.

Josie’s journey has required the kind of courage Christian himself used to talk about ... the courage it takes to go into the corners. I believe you’ll be blessed by listening in.

Click HERE to find Josie's book on Amazon.

Click HERE to learn more about the Christian Doll foundation.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

In last week’s episode, we met Marty and Missie Durapau and heard about the loss of Missie’s 14-year-old son, Mason, after a golf cart accident on Easter Sunday in 2024. We also heard about the week they spent praying and believing God for a miracle ... and what it meant to keep trusting Him when that miracle didn’t come in the way they had hoped. If you missed the first half of our conversation, you can find it HERE.

Today, we’ll talk more about Mason’s decision to be an organ donor and the five lives that were saved through his gift. That part of his story has brought Missie tremendous comfort and purpose, but it has also brought some unexpected heartbreak that has caused her to wrestle with God in a whole new way.

We’ll also talk about why the second year of grief has been especially difficult, navigating birthdays and holidays, and the ways Marty and Missie are using their own experiences to come alongside others who are hurting.

Through all of it, they are learning that still trusting God doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means continuing to turn toward Him with the questions, the confusion, and the pain—and trusting that He is still faithful.

Link to the Our Hearts Are Home fall conference information HERE!

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

My guests on the podcast today are Marty and Missie Durapau, and if I had to describe the thread that runs through their story, it would be this: Still Trusting God.

Marty had already experienced devastating loss when his wife of 34 years, Angie, died suddenly in 2020. Missie had walked through difficult seasons of her own before she came to know the Lord as an adult. They married in 2023, blending their families and beginning a new chapter.

Then, just over a year later, Missie’s 14-year-old son, Mason, suffered a devastating brain injury after a golf cart accident on Easter Sunday. For the next week, Marty and Missie worshiped and prayed and believed God for a miraculous healing. But Mason’s ultimate healing occurred when he went to Heaven on April 7, 2024.

In this first half of our conversation, we’ll hear how God brought Marty and Missie together, get to know Mason—a funny, tenderhearted boy who loved Jesus and loved his mama—and talk honestly about trusting God when He doesn’t answer our prayers the way we hoped.

This is a story of heartbreak, questions, faith, and still trusting God. I believe you’ll be blessed by listening in.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

Sherry Bullock’s 19-year-old daughter, Emma, was fun-loving, easygoing, and known for leaving “a trail of Emma” wherever she went.

On February 6, 2021, Emma was killed in a devastating accident on a Florida interstate. In our conversation, Sherry shares honestly about the shock of sudden loss, the silence that followed, and the questions she wrestled with about heaven, God’s sovereignty, and where God was when Emma died.

She also explains the meaning behind the title of her book, The Mess We Leave Behind: Unshakable Hope in Unspeakable Loss. What began as the physical mess Emma left behind became a picture of the emotional and spiritual aftermath of her death—and a reminder that Emma had lived, loved, and mattered.

Sherry talks about what grieving parents need most, why grief cannot be separated from love, and how she came to see grief as holy ground. She also shares a powerful image of hope as the rope God lowers into the pit for us to hold onto. As Sherry says, “Hope is everything.”

This is an honest conversation about child loss, faith, and the presence of God in the midst of the mess.

Sherry’s book, The Mess We Leave Behind: Unshakable Hope in Unspeakable Loss, is available in paperback and Kindle editions on Amazon. Click HERE to get your copy.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

What does a "holy grief" look like twenty-four years after the death of a child?

In this second half of my conversation with Angie Ford-Green, we move from the story of Kevin's death to the wisdom God has cultivated in her through the years that followed.

Building on the theme introduced in Part One of our conversation, Angie shares how God has continued to shape her understanding of a holy grief ... one that doesn't deny the pain of loss but allows Him to use it to deepen our faith, refine our hearts, and bring hope to others.

We also talk about navigating holidays and special days, loving the family members who are still with us while honoring the child who is in Heaven, and the importance of discovering purpose in pain. Angie closes by sharing the heart behind her books, A Mother Like Me and Mothers Like Me, a collection of stories that reminds grieving mothers they are not alone.

This conversation is filled with practical, Christ-centered encouragement for every bereaved parent seeking to walk faithfully through grief.

Resources Mentioned (with links):

• A Mother Like Me
• Mothers Like Me
• Little Lucy Ladybug: Where Are My Spots?

Visit Angie's website, linked HERE, to learn more about her ministry and her books.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

Angie's experience with grief began early in life, losing her father to a massive heart attack when she was just twelve years old. With little guidance and few opportunities to express her grief, she learned to hide her pain and pretend she was okay when she wasn't ... a pattern that would follow her for decades.

Then, more than forty years later, her 28-year-old son, Kevin, died suddenly while surfing in the Pacific Ocean. This time, she knew she couldn't grieve the same way.

At Kevin's burial, Angie's mother spoke words that would change the course of her life: "My prayer for you is that you will have a holy grief."

In this first half of our conversation, Angie shares the story of Kevin's life, the heartbreaking day she learned of his death, and how God invited her to embrace her grief rather than bury it. We talk about the difference between stuffing our emotions and honestly lamenting before the Lord, the importance of inviting others into our sorrow, and the hope that comes from connecting our hurt to the Healer.

Angie's story is a powerful reminder that God meets us in our deepest sorrow and faithfully walks with us through it.

Resources Mentioned (with links!):

• A Mother Like Me by Angie Ford-Green
• Mothers Like Me by Angie Ford-Green

Visit Angie's website: A Mother Like Me

Next Week: In the second half of our conversation, Angie shares what she's learned during more than two decades of living with child loss. We'll talk about marriage after loss, choosing gratitude, navigating holidays and special days, discovering purpose in pain, and the ministry God has built from her journey.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! ~Jill

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org